Page 17 of The Barbarian's Claim
Sitting up, I shook my head rapidly to stop him. When I was in a rush, it was harder to get the words out, but I didn’t want him to think he’d done something wrong.
“Y-you— Th-that— I-I—” Frustrated tears gathered in my eyes, and I made a sound to show how I felt about it. I hated how hard it was to speak.
Rough fingers gripped my chin lightly, turning my face towards his. He never got angry with me when I struggled. Even now, when he was upset with himself, he waited patiently for me.
“Breathe. Take a moment.”
Sucking in a breath, I let it out slowly and tried again. “I-I l-liked it. I w-w-wanted it.” My cheeks burned admitting that out loud, but he had to know, so he wouldn’t blame himself.
The look on his face said he didn’t fully believe me. I wasn’t sure how else to convince him. This was new to me. My experience with sex was extremely limited. I’d done a few things in the past with another boy in the orphanage, but it wasn’t exactly pleasurable. Nothing like when Einar touched me.
He hadn’t let go of my chin, and his thumb stroking over my jaw drew my attention back to him. He looked worried like he’d done something to hurt me. It didn’t hurt. It felt amazing. How did I show that to him without the words to say it aloud?
He didn’t give me a chance to figure it out. His expression clouded over, and he pulled away, getting to his feet. My knees shook a little when I did the same, and I blushed all the way to my hairline while pulling my trousers back up. He didn’t notice. He turned to build the fire back up where it smoldered beside us.
Uneasy, I decided to give him space, heading for the creek nearby to wash up. I wasn’t sure words would be enough to convince him I wanted it, even if I could say them well. I wished there was someone who could tell me what to say to ease his mind.
I was so lost in my thoughts, I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. I ducked my head toward the water, cupping my hands together to splash my face, and lurched back whensomething lunged at me. A startled scream escaped me, and I felt a sharp pinch on the back of my hand as I landed on my behind. Einar came out of nowhere, sword at the ready, and I had no time to blink before he darted forward, cutting the creature’s head off before it could bite me again. Through my panic, I didn’t get a good look at it, but it looked like a snake.
Snake.
Snakes were poisonous. That was what I’d always been told. Slowly, I lowered my hand, staring at the puncture wounds in the back of it.
“Einar…”
I didn't have time to enjoy the fact that I said his name without tripping over it. Darkness overtook my vision, and I fell back, hearing Einar’s shout before I lost consciousness.
Eleven
EINAR
Staring down at Matthew, I willed him to wake up. I should have taught him better. I’d never told him to check the water first. He didn’t know the danger there.
When I realized he’d been bitten by the sorvok, I was quick to lance the wound and suck the venom out. It was quick enough to prevent infecting him. It shouldn’t damage him permanently. But sorvok’s venom always knocked their prey unconscious first, and that took a while to wear off. I bandaged his hand and moved him back to the bedroll, dragging it closer to the fire to keep him warm. After that, I could only wait for him to wake. If I was wrong and the venom did take full effect, there was nothing I could do for him.
The thought made my chest ache. I’d promised I would protect him. I’d failed within a day of our bonding. All because I was ashamed of my actions and wished to avoid him. We had never discussed intimacy between us. I felt as though I had manipulated him into it. He was young, easily swayed by pleasure. I should have asked. But I was half asleep anddistracted by the way he pushed himself against me, and I’d ignored what was right to enjoy him in the moment. Then I avoided him out of embarrassment. I should have gone with him anyway. I shouldn’t have left him alone for even a moment.
A small, unhappy groan escaped him, and his face twisted into a grimace. I’d experienced a sorvok’s bite before, several times. It was not pleasant. It was lucky it was only the back of his hand and not his face or neck. The closer to his heart, the more dangerous it would have been for him.
His whimper kicked me into motion, and I shifted closer, running my fingers through the hair at his temple. He stirred again, his eyelids fluttering like he was trying to wake up and was struggling to do it.
“Zoragar. You are safe. Wake when you are ready.”
His lips pulled down into a frown, and his brows furrowed. He wasn’t happy with me. He had every reason to feel this way. I was supposed to protect him. I would not protest his sharing his displeasure with me. As long as he woke up and I could see that he was okay, I would take whatever punishment he and the gods thought I deserved.
His head turned toward where my hand had touched him, and he let out another whimper. The sound hurt my heart, and I reached for him automatically, cupping his face. His cheeks were still pale and cool, but I felt his breath on my wrist as he leaned against my palm and sighed. If he needed to be held, then…
Carefully, I pulled him into my arms, resting his head against my shoulder. It felt awkward, as I’d never done such a thing before, but it seemed to help. He relaxed, nuzzling a little against me before falling asleep again. I moved his injured hand to my shoulder and held it there. I’d learned long ago to elevate it or it would hurt otherwise.
He slept for a little while longer, and I did not move the entire time. Guilt over his injury coiled in my stomach, and I could not make myself walk away, not even to hunt.
A small whimper preceded his waking, and I felt him wince, his hand tugging a little so he could pull it against his chest.
“Wh-what…”
His voice was thick, and when I looked down at him, he glanced around blearily, like he didn’t understand.
Running my fingers through his hair, I drew his attention to me. “How do you feel?”
