Page 201 of Call the Shots
“Real reason?” I repeated, shaky.
“Can you just say you don’t feel the same and we can get this over with? I think I need to hear it.”
Did Bear think I was making this up? I dug my fingers into the pillow, shocked.
“It’s leading up to it, we both know it,” Bear said quietly. “I’m not an easy guy to love.”
“No, Bear, it’s so easy loving you?—”
His eyes snapped to mine and I froze. Every shadow disappeared from his face. He shifted up on the couch, his lips tugging up for a smile—asmile—that same boyish, hopeful smile that’d just begun, like we weren’t having this heavy conversation breaking us apart.
“You love me,” he said, breathless.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter?—”
“Youloveme.”
“It won’t work out, it’s complicated, it’s messy. Your family won’t be fine with it—Xavier wouldn’t forgive this. I wasn’t thinking, I can’t do this to you?—”
Bear stretched out to touch me and I flinched, pushing up from the couch. Touching him wouldn’t do anything but hurt and prolong the hurt.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out, heading to my bedroom. “I’m really sorry, Bear.”
CHAPTER 74
BEAR
IT’S NOT FIGHTING TIME
I closedthe door behind me, taking slow, measured steps to the lounge, thinking it over. Most of my teammates were gone, either avoiding me in their dorms or they left to give us as much space as possible. The only ones who stayed behind were the ones I expected. Fridge, Nick, and Montoya watched me from their chairs like someone petrified them mid-motion.
I stopped by them. “I need you to text?—”
“What’d June say?” Montoya said, words blurring together.
“Uh…she loves me, but we can’t be in a relationship because it’d push me from my family.” I shrugged. “Which, my family sucks so…it’s one of those things where youknowbut you don’t know until someone tells you, you know?”
Nick nodded slowly. “Yeah. Uh, no. Not at all.”
“I worked two jobs in North Dakota while I played hockey. Then I’d scroll through my feed and see Xavier jet-setting into the sunset—” A harsh laugh burst out of me. “June thinks this is a hard decision?”
“What decision?” Fridge frowned.
“Who should I pick? My shitty family who wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire or the girl who washed my hair when Pickles messed up my hand at practice? I didn’t ask her to do it—Juneknew my hand was bruised and I’d been icing it, and she saw me fumbling with the shampoo bottle, and she justdid it." I exhaled, remembering how her fingers stroked my hair and her soft murmur in the shower. "Do you know how nice it is to get your hair washed by somebody who loves you? It’s like an orgasm! And she did that on a Tuesday! When she has early classes! This isn’t a hard decision—why would she think this is a hard decision?”
Nick grimaced at the others. “He’s talking really fast, I don’t like where this is going.”
“Hey, Bear?” Fridge held up a hand. “Let’s calm down, talk this out—this sounds like a big, life-altering?—”
“You need to text Denali,” I interrupted, already leaving for the stairs. “He needs to be prepared to say the hockey team isn’t involved because I’m going to kick my stepbrother’s ass.”
“Huh?” Montoya choked out.
The guys said something else, but I didn’t hear them. I headed down the stairs, mentally prepping my path. If I cut the crosswalks and jaywalked through the gardens, I’d halve the time to the student center?—
“Bear?” Nick shouted, jogging to me. “Are you joking?”
Ignoring his question, I picked up the pace. It was so beautiful outside. One of those late summer days when the weather’s perfect. Not really planetarium weather, we’d have to go when it was raining or something.
