Page 57 of The Nanny and the Don
All that talk about him being afraid to be played and he was playing me. He let me get comfortable enough to where I didn’t even leave when I had the chance. He asked me to trust him when he didn’t even trust me.
When his friend asked him if he thought I was in on Brendan stealing from him, he said he didn’t know. That meant there was no telling what would happen to me once he found Brendan. I wasn’t waiting around to find out. Especially after hearing how he’d lost me to Brendan in a fucking bet. Men were disgusting.
It was dumb as hell to cry over a man who’d kidnapped me and held me hostage for over a month, but there I was wallowing in my own filth and pity in Kelsea’s bed. I’d driven for hoursto get back to our old apartment where I abandoned Steel’s car before calling her to pick me up.
I couldn’t stay at my old place because I was pretty sure he knew how to find me there. If he didn’t, the fact that he owned part of the club I used to work in likely gave him access to the files that contained my home address. It was too big of a risk to be there, so I was hiding out with Kelsea while I figured out my next move.
“What happened, baby girl?” my friend asked, stroking my hair as I sobbed uncontrollably.
“I was stupid enough to fall in love with him,” I revealed.
“And then what?”
“It was all a lie. Everything he made me believe. I should have known a crazy, fine ass, rich man wouldn’t want shit to do with my ass. I’m all fucked up, but I loved him and those kids, Kels. The whole thing is crazy.”
“You’re not crazy for having feelings, baby. You’re human. You’re a lover so of course you caught feelings. That’s not your fault or your loss. It’s his. Now tell me what happened. Did he put his hands on you? Cause we can ride out.”
“No, nothing like that. I just heard him saying some foul shit that showed me where I really stood with him. I’m glad I found out before things got too deep.”
“You’ve been lying here crying for the past few hours, Dev. I’m not sure how much deeper it can get.”
“I didn’t even tell him I was gone. I never planned on leaving. I loved it there, and the kids were so precious. I miss them already. I couldn’t even bring myself to say goodbye to them.”
“My poor, sweet girl. You can stay here as long as you want to, but I know you like your space. Our lease isn’t up on the apartment yet either.”
“I know, but I know he can find me there. The last thing I want is to see him,” I said, attempting to downplay how much I feared Steel.
I couldn’t risk letting him find me, but I wasn’t going to say that. I didn’t need Kelsea worrying about me any more than she already did. I had the majority of the money that he had given me for my first month of work, so I was confident that I could find a new place to live. There were only a few months left on our old lease. Still, I wasn’t sure if it was smart to go there. I would figure something out. Right now, I just needed a little time to feel sorry for myself.
After a week in the spare bedroom of the house that Kelsea shared with her boyfriend, I felt like I had outstayed my welcome. Not that she had said anything. Hell, I barely saw him since he worked all the time and Kelsea seemed to love having me around again. Still, I knew that I was invading their space by living there.
I didn’t give her a chance to talk me out of leaving because I knew it was what I needed to do to maintain our friendship. Plus, I just needed to get up and do something. I was tired of lying around crying and feeling sorry for myself. If anything, I should have been relieved to get away from the man who’d kidnapped me.
For some reason, there was a magnetic force tugging at me to go back to him. I knew that thinking wasn’t rational, so I got up, got dressed, and by dinner time I had a new place lined up and an interview at the day care a few blocks away. I let the owner know that I was starting classes again in the fall but would be available to work part time.
The duplex that I wanted to rent was around the same price as our old place. Since I had the money to cover the first six months of rent up front, the owner didn’t give a damn that I was currently unemployed. Things were looking up for me, but why didn’t I feel any better?
Seventeen
Steel
I figured that with Devlan gone, I would lay in bed until I starved to death or withered up and died from a broken heart. I couldn’t function the same without her there. Suddenly my house felt like a big, drafty cave devoid of love and hope and all the things that overflowed through the windows when she was here.
The first morning that King came into my bedroom asking for Ms. Devy with Evie on his heels, shut down all of my plans of feeling sorry for myself for the rest of my life. I had to get up and take care of the kids.
It was hard for me to explain that Devlan was busy and had something to take care of, but I pulled it off. The kids were small, so they didn’t give a damn where she went or what she had to do. They just wanted her back. So did I.
They were inconsolable for the first two days, but eventually my time and attention were enough to fill the void. The kids gave me so much purpose that I couldn’t see myself letting them go when the time came.
Prayerfully, my sister would change her mind about taking them back home. As I sat across the booth from her and her little ones listening to her promising how everything was going to be so much better when they made it back home, I realized that the odds weren’t in my favor.
“Why can’t we stay with Uncle Steel? I like staying at his house,” King whined.
“We have a house of our own and I have to go back to work,” my sister repeated what I’d already heard her explain.
I didn’t have the bandwidth to beg my sister and her kids to stay in my life when I had no idea how to get through to the woman I loved. I’d been able to locate Devlan. She wasn’t far from where I’d found her in the first place.
For the past few weeks, she had been working at a daycare and according to my people she lived in a little spot that was walking distance from her job. Every day I wanted to go to her, but she’d made her choice. Even after vowing that she would never leave me, she did just what I knew she would do. She did exactly what everyone else does, she left. I couldn’t expect any better. My own sister was planning to leave me again, even after I forgave her treachery and deception.
