Page 41 of The Nanny and the Don
“Whatever, girl.” Sicily laughed. “I’m gone. See you tomorrow.”
“Good night, Sicily. Drive safe.”
“Good night.”
I looked in on the kids and they were sound asleep just like Sicily said. I walked over and kissed each of their cheeks and tucked them in. They were the sweetest when they were asleep so I quietly tip-toed out of their room and went upstairs.
I stripped out of my dress and put it back on the hanger before going into the bathroom and removing my makeup. I jumped in the shower and changed into an oversized T-shirt and a pair of leggings.
Curiosity tugged at me leading me to go back downstairs to see if Mr. Gray had made it home. The door being unlocked wasthe first indication that he was still out. Still, I went down to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and a bag of chips out of the pantry. I wanted something salty to help soak up the four or five glasses of champagne that I’d drank.
As I strolled back out of the kitchen, the door swung open. Mr. Gray stood there looking as dapper as he had when we left the house. There was no sign that he’d possibly killed a man tonight.
“What are you doing up?” he quizzed.
“I have a bedtime?” I asked him.
He sighed in response to my question. “I can see that you have something on your chest, so come on. Let me have it.”
“Was that Brendan?” I asked, cutting to the chase. There was no need to beat around the bush. I needed to know if I was next.
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
“I want to go home,” I told him.
“That’s not up for discussion, Devlan. Good night.”
“Why are you even keeping me here? I’m not the only nanny in town. I’m not even a fucking nanny. Why don’t you let me go? I’ve never done anything to you, but you cost me my job. Now I’m a prisoner in your fucking home. Now I wait on you and anticipate your mood swings. You’re cold one minute and hot the next. Sometimes I think you might actually like having me here, then I’m left wondering when you’ll finally take me out of my misery and kill me. If that’s what the plan is, go ahead and do it now, because I’m tired of anticipating it.”
“Devlan, relax. You’ve had a few drinks so you’re not thinking straight. I know what you saw might have scared you but chill before you wake up the kids.”
“The only thing confusing is you. One moment I feel this undeniable chemistry between us and the next you make me feel like I’m a silly little girl with a crush on her fucking bully. I don’t know what you want from me. You know I had nothing to dowith what Brendan had going on. I have no idea where he is. You know that. Yet, you’re keeping me here just to make sure I know you hate me.”
“You’re not here because I hate you, Devlan. You’re here because I need you.”
His statement didn’t clear things up. If anything, I was even more confused. He was such an anomaly.
“Need me for what? The kids? I asked if you got me fired because you needed a nanny and you didn’t even have the decency to be honest. Tell me the truth, because I know touching you wasn’t enough of a reason for me to lose my job. Brendan tried to tell me that’s just the way you are, but I’m not buying it. You had only been there twice. We only spoke briefly when you asked if that place was the end of the line for me or if I had other aspirations. I told you I was in school. Was that the reason you wanted me fired? Because I was only planning to be there temporarily. Was I not giving you enough play? You left me a thousand-dollar tip both nights. Tell me something, because I didn’t think I did anything wrong. If you hate me so much, why did you bring me here to be the kids’ nanny? Tell me that and be honest with me. Why did you get me fired? Why the hell am I here?” I quizzed.
He moved, closing the space between us until he was standing close enough for me to feel his body heat. In that moment, I was certain that this was exactly the moment that I would die. He reached out and just when I thought he would choke the life out of me, he cupped my face in his hands. I was physically shaking as he glared down at me with the same intense stare that terrified me and wet my panties all at once.
“I’m aware that there are a thousand other nannies in the city, but I want you. I don’t mean to intimidate you by staring, which is why I try so hard to keep my distance from you. You’re so fucking pretty that I can barely stand to look at you. I’m notdoing anything because I hate you, beautiful. Everything I do is because I think I love you. I think I loved you the first time I saw you,” he confessed.
He said that, then crashed his lips into mine like a wave of passion and frustration wound into one thing. I clawed at the back of his head, deepening our kiss as his tongue swept across mine. My knees were weak as I held onto him for dear life. This thing between us was tense and tender, fiery and all-consuming. My hatred for him had gradually morphed into a puzzling whirlwind of emotions. Suddenly his hands were on my shoulders, and he was pushing me away. He stumbled back as if he was the one who had been shoved.
“I’m . . . that was a mistake,” he said, turning to walk away.
“Wait,” I called behind him, but there was no use.
“Good night, Devlan,” he said, never even bothering to look back.
Tears sprang up in my eyes as I made a dash for the stairs. I didn’t stop running until I made it to the top. My head was spinning as I stripped out of my clothes and dove into the bed. Everything around here felt like a roller coaster ride. All I ever wanted in life was stability. Why was that so hard to obtain?
By the forty-eighth hour of Mr. Gray hiding out in his bedroom and office, I was so angry that I went right up and pounded on his office door. He didn’t get to kiss me then hide away like I was some kind of inconvenience or unwanted guest. I didn’t ask to be here. Three weeks of being here with him had me going insane. He was in complete control, but he acted like he was being forced to keep me here.
One minute he was cold and distant, then the next he was saying that he appreciated me for being here like I had a choice. I didn’t know what kind of game he was playing, but I was tired of it. If he was going to kill me when he found Brendan, then there was nothing for me to be afraid of now. There was no use in delaying the inevitable, because this was torture.
The kids were asleep, and both Miguel and Sicily were gone for the day. No one else seemed to notice how he didn’t bother to show his face for two whole days. He didn’t get to kidnap me, give me all these mixed signals, and then just bail like nothing was going on between us.
