Page 43 of Marrying the Gardener
“The sum of sense you’re making equates to zero. I could create a Canva Whiteboard of how well I’m following, but it would be a scattering of question marks in various fonts, including Papyrus.”
Blowing out a breath, I say, “Crisis, it feels like I’ve manipulated her. I asked her to save me, and a switch flipped. Her entire demeanor changed. Just like you said, I felt the moment I became hers, and…” I cuss, lower my hand to mythroat, grip. “Now, I think I have to die.”
Crisis, more muted, asks, “Viktor, are all of you brothers in some way suicidal?”
Viktor clearing his throat in the distance fills my ear. “I don’t think…Lukas is?”
“Your parents deserved worse than death.”
That might be the most truthful truth I have ever heard. “Crisis,” I plead. “Please. Say you’ll come. I’ll start walking.”
“I’m not going to stand in a forest with you, Kaleb. It’s okay.”
“But…I can’t live with myself.”
“You can. You will. Don’t insult my husband like this. She’s smart enough to make her own decisions. She’s not going to let anyone manipulate her into doing anything she doesn’t completely either want to do or see sufficient merit in.”
“She’s offered to marry me. For real. Once our deal is up.”
“What deal?” Crisis asks, nonchalant.
I sigh. “I’m not telling you that.”
She harrumphs. “It was worth a shot.”
Dragging my hand down into the collar of my t-shirt, I grip and twist. “Well? Any insight? She doesn’t like me, but what I did had her offering to marry me permanently, if that’s what I wanted. Should I start walking now?”
“Kaleb, I’m going to need you to seek professional help if you keep talking like that. What makes you think Crimson doesn’t like you?”
The disgust and exhaustion on her face whenever she forces herself to tolerate kisses from me. The fact she’s given my body long, slow once-overs that end in utter confusion limned by revulsion. But, then, I suppose those are physical dislikes. Which makes enough sense given how the men she’s been around since she was small treat her.
Is there a chance she does like my personality?
No.
No, no. Of course not.
“She doesn’t know me well enough to judge my character,” I say.
“Oh, sure. That’s a good criterion. Have you called any kettles black lately?”
Ha, ha…very funny. She doesn’t show signs of experiencing attraction, and it was my attraction that led me to…
I blink.
I’m not just attracted to her because she’s beautiful, am I? No. I loveeverythingabout her. The way she acts in every situation is so addicting I can’t look away.
I jolt upright. “You…think she likes me?”
“I think my emotional unavailability until recently and the fact we’re soul twins means there’s a pretty good chance if she likes you, she doesn’t know it yet, but she’ll still be heading subconsciously in a direction that suggests she does. Crimson has very good intuition, so she’ll often act on it without putting a reason into words first. I’m pretty sure that’s how she saves me from so many disasters and it’s probably how she knew she could trust you.”
“So.” I swallow. “I didn’t manipulate her?”
Crisis laughs. “You should try to and see what happens. If you dare attempt to manipulate that woman, she’ll flip the script on you in five moves. Checkmate.”
“So I’m not the scum of the earth, and I don’t need to hope that a tree falls on me?”
“You need to seek out a therapist.”
