Page 58 of Run Little Killer
"For fucks sake," I mutter, throwing a couple hundreds down on the counter before taking off after her.
Lennon
The cool breeze rushes over my flushed skin, but it does nothing to tamp down the panicked heat searing through my veins as my feet carry me across the vacant lot.
My face was on the goddamn newspaper.
I’m headline news,right there in black and white on the front page: MENTALLY UNSTABLE PATIENT STILL AT LARGE printed in bold right above my less than flattering intake picture from Briarwood.
It was stupid for me to think that the further we got from Briarwood, the less chance I’d have at getting caught. Istupidly let myself believe in the illusion of freedom, chasing after a happily ever after with blood coating my hands, but this was never meant to be a fairytale. It’s a tragedy, speeding toward its final, catastrophic act.
In seeing that newspaper, reality crashed back in, violating the temple I constructed in my mind. The unbothered ease and blissful peace I felt last night and today slips through my fingers like sand as I sprint across the parking lot, heart thundering in my chest.
"Lennon!" Nix shouts, the steady slam of his boots hitting the ground somewhere behind me.
Each menacing step lands like a warning shot as he closes the distance, but I don’t look back. It’ll only slow me down.
Sticks and dry grass crunch underfoot as I leave the pavement, running straight for the forest bordering the motel. I’m swallowed up by shadows the moment I cross the treeline, only able to see by the dapple of pale moonlight leaking through the canopy above. Relying on my other senses to guide me, I pick up on the faint sound of trickling water somewhere ahead, propelling myself in that direction.If it’s a creek and I can get across it, then surely he'll give up the chase.
That night with Shawn re-wired my brain, forever altering my fight or flight response. My instinct used to be to fight, but when I was pinned beneath him, too drugged out to defend myself, a switch flipped. Then the drugs started to wear off, I regained my faculties, and I didn’t fight. Iran.
I ran from Shawn and Natalie on wobbly legs, blood streaming down my face and thighs.
I tried to run from Briarwood when the police first dropped me off– which they chalked up to beingunmedicated and in need of treatment– then busted the hell out of that place and ran.
And now here I am, unmedicated and having arguably the best week of my life, and I'mstillrunning.
I'm painfully aware that running won't solve anything. It’s an act of avoidance, a coward’s way out, but the more I'm triggered by something, the faster I shut down. Adrenaline floods my system and sends me fleeing like a spooked possum.
Not having a destination doesn't seem to matter to the cortex of my brain responsible for fight or flight. As long as I’m running, I’m still free. Still breathing.
My calves burn with each stride, lungs aching with each labored breath. The deeper I go, the denser the forest becomes, gnarled roots and thickets of brush slowing me down.
"Keep running, little killer!" Nix's gravelly tone calls out, his voice far too close. "There's nowhere you can run to, no place to hide that will keep me from what's mine."
His salacious threat lands as a shock to my system, the effect of it somehow rewiring my instincts yet again. His voice is like a shot of dopamine, his words eliciting a visceral reaction that slows my feet.
Maybe this time, I’m not running to escape.
Maybe I’m running to get caught.
Before I can fully contemplate that thought, the last bit of distance between us vanishes, Nix’s shadow swallowing mine as he bands a thick arm around my waist.
"Caught you," he murmurs in my ear, yanking my body back against his.
Desire pools between my thighs as he roughly pushes me up against a tree, control shifting as I give into him. My breath hitches, bark biting into my skin as he yanks downmy leggings and panties in one swift movement, a needy moan ripping from my throat when a gloved hand cracks across my bare ass cheek.
"The more you run, the harder I'll fuck you, until you remember exactly who it is that you belong to," he growls.
My stomach swoops, pulse thundering with anticipation at the sound of his zipper lowering.
He kicks my legs apart, and before I can even blink, he’s slamming into me from behind. My inner walls spasm as he bottoms out in a single, brutal stroke, and some twisted sense of satisfaction ripples through me, realization dawning that this is what I really want. To be caught. To be claimed. Byhim.
"So fucking tight," he groans, drawing back before snapping his hips and sinking in even deeper.
I cry out, palms splaying against the tree to brace myself for each feral punch of his hips.
"That's it baby," he murmurs. "Let me hear those pretty sounds as I wreck this cunt."
