Page 50 of The Gargoyle's Glade
“You’ll have to have that conversation with him.” She reached across the table, covering my hand. “And I think you should, that’s a big commitment either direction.” She sighed and sat back in the seat. “Is there nothing positive you want to use in your considerations? Like the fact that he’s ruggedly handsome? Tall? Has wings? Is a little scary?”
“The wings are very nice.”
She brightened. “Jacks seems to like him.”
“He does.” His commentary about Coltor honestly weighed pretty heavily in my considerations.
“What about the fact that he’s clearly obsessed with you? Has been since you first arrived.”
“Hailon, don’t be ridiculous.” I laughed at her exaggeration.
“I’m not! I think he actually might be. It started with a carving a day but very quickly escalated to literally growling atpeople when they came to watch over you for a bit when you were unwell.”
My heart skipped. “He did not.”
“I was just trying to let him take a nap and get your hair washed, and he nearly bit my head off.” She smirked, which told me she wasn’t being entirely truthful, but I appreciated the push to remember the reasons I’d started falling for him. “You look yourself again, by the way.”
“Thanks. I feel pretty much back to normal today.” Which honestly felt like a massive accomplishment considering all that had happened.
And I had, I admitted to myself, thoroughly fallen for him. He was kind, attentive, and patient. We’d worked out our differences, and I felt I understood him, even when he turned inward and got frustrated. He didn’t try to make me feel smaller in his presence; if anything, he allowed me to flourish while watching to be sure I was safe. He might have a vicious bark, but he handled me gently.
“I hate this.”
“Love is truly the worst.” Hailon’s expression was dreadfully serious, at least until she burst out laughing. “Listen, you know I can relate. I was not looking for any kind of relationship, nor did I recognize what was happening between Seir and I for what it was as early as I should have. All I’m saying is, don’t make a choice you’ll regret out of fear of turning into your mother, Merry.” My breath stalled. She’d somehow narrowed in on the crux of my hesitation. “You’re not her, never were, never will be. You have all of us too. Me, Seir, Ophelia. Everyone at d’Arcan. You are not alone, and if you decide that Coltor is the one for you, you’ll be even less so. You’ll almost certainly be invited to join the stone kin clan. Whatever you decide, we’re behind you. Remember that if the Fates chose him for you and you for him… there’s a reason. Lots of them.”
There were, I knew that. We’d been over many of them several times.
Her words touched a place that had needed reassurance without me realizing. I tended to feel very alone—that came along with my independence. But I wasn’t, and I had everything I needed to make my choice.
I just had to decide whether I was going to be a coward or fully embrace the life that the Fates had carved out for me here in the glade.
Chapter 20
Coltor
Icame back from my patrol to find Merry waiting for me on the little porch of my hut. My heart dropped into my boots as I tried to discern her blank expression. I’d spent all night twisted up in my thoughts, wondering what she’d concluded after my revelation. I felt like one massive, exposed nerve.
“Merry? Is everything alright? Feeling okay?”
Her voice was painfully neutral. “I’m fine. I brought dinner. More leftovers from the party. If they don’t get eaten, they’ll go bad.”
“Okay. I could eat.” I wasn’t sure that was true, but I would try. “Did you rest?”
“A little.”
I opened the door and gestured for her to go in before me, thankful I kept everything tidy. Plates were already made up and set for the two places. I went to the kitchen sink and washed up, trying to breathe through the anxious heartburn that had cropped up.
Once we were seated at the table and making a half-hearted attempt to eat in the heavy silence, Merry finally started talking.
“I have three siblings. For nearly their whole lives, I was as much a parent to them as our mother was to any of us. Shemarried and divorced three times after my father went missing and struggled to function when things got stressful.” She set her fork down, no longer even pretending to push things around on her plate. “Things were nearly always stressful.” I nodded softly in empathy. “I raised her children while I still was one. Granted, I was a teenager by the time Mattias came along, but I was the adult and bore the weight of responsibility for us all.” Her gaze met mine, and I hated the hesitation I saw there. “I don’t want my own babies, Coltor. Not now, and likely not ever.”
I stared back at her. Of all the directions for the conversation to go, this was not one I would have chosen. “That’s… completely understandable. I think perhaps the Fates took that into consideration when they chose you to be Keeper, actually.”
She frowned. “What?”
“Someone responsible for all of creature-kind probably won’t have time to be chasing tiny humans around as well. So, it follows that your lack of desire to have your own children was part of the equation.”
She started laughing, and it escalated quickly to the point she had tears running down her face. I worried they weren’t only from amusement. “You rarely say anything I expect you to.”
