Page 23 of Olivia's Only Pretending
He started his car seconds later, and “She’s My Kind of Rain” filled the car. “A classic,” Victor said, humming along.
Sitting in the passenger seat in Victor’s truck while the two of us bickered and laughed was one of my favorite places in the world, whether we were heading for a late-night Taco Bell or heading to a dinner party. It made my blood pressure lower, as if something in Victor’s DNA was a natural repellent for my anxious thoughts.
He looked at me from the corner of his eye, reaching across the console and brushing his fingertips against my bare neck,goose bumps scattering at his touch. “I love when you wear your hair like this.”
My mouth went dry, my heart skittering in my chest. “Like what?”
“Pulled up?” He searched for the words. “Pulled back? I just like seeing your whole face. And your neck.”
I laughed nervously, trying to gather my feelings into something small I could tuck away. “You like my neck?”
His eyes went a little darker. The truck hit a pothole. “Idolike your neck.”
Sometimes, he made my blood pressure lower. Sometimes, he made my heart rate spike. “See, youarea flirt. That was a flirty comment.”
“I’m simply answering a question.” He smiled crookedly, with his eyes flickering between me and the road.
“You have a nice neck, too,” I conceded, as we exited on the highway that took us from Sweet River to the school.
He chuckled as I pulled on the collar near his neck. As my fingers brushed against his warm, tan skin, his breath caught.
I felt an urge to run my fingers higher up until they tangled into his inky hair, to make his breathing go rough.
I yanked my hand down and nestled deeper into my seat, swallowing back those thoughts.
“How’re you doing, Liv?” Victor assessed me for a second before glancing back toward the road. “How’s this week been with Ryan running around campus?”
“It’s been …” I let my voice trail off as I thought about my last week on campus. Ryan hadn’t really been part of it.
“What’s going on up there?” He tapped a finger lightly against my temple.
“A lot is going on in my head, honestly.”
“Always.”
“You know what it’s been like, having Ryan there? Annoying. It’s not been heartbreaking or sad, even. It’s been irritating, knowing he’s around. I think like six months ago, maybe it would’ve been harder. But I’ve come a lot further than I realized.”
“Maybe seeing him is a good thing, then? It can show you how far you’ve come. Sometimes, you undersell yourself.”
“You think?” That was funny. I always thought Victor was the one undersellinghimself.
“I do think so. You undersell yourself at your job. You don’t need to be scouring old classes to imitate. I think you could come up with a class all on your own, and it would be amazing. You undersell yourself with your house. You always think you owe so much to my help, but I feel like I’m just following your lead most of the time.” He couldn’t keep his eyes on the road, glancing back at me every few seconds, hand waving in the air for emphasis. “Even with this. You were freaked out about having Ryan back on campus, but I knew you could handle it like a boss. You barely ever need me for half the stuff I try to help you with.” Victor said this with a tone of awe.
He meant it as a compliment, but my heart felt defensive of his role in my life.
“I do need you, Victor,” I said, an embarrassingly vulnerable tone to my voice. I didn’t want him wandering out of my life, thinking I didn’t need him around.
“Oh, don’t worry. I don’t trust you with a chainsaw or anything. I’ll still be there to build your bookshelves and whatever you need. I’m just saying …” He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. “I’m just saying you don’t realize how amazing you are in a multitude of ways.”
I chewed on my lip, with a new country song crooning through the truck.
“Anyway,” Victor said before I could respond. “What’s our game plan tonight?”
“I don’t think we go in with a game plan. I like what you said earlier. We’ll just let people call it whatever they want,” I offered, my heart racing at the reminder of our ruse.
“So, no making out on your desk again?” he joked.
I choked on air. “No, there’ll be no need for that,” I said, my face hot. I even touched my cheeks.
