Page 18 of Olivia's Only Pretending
She buried her face in her hand. “I don’t know why I asked. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head, with auburn strands breaking loose from my ponytail. “Don’t worry.” I turned to leave but hesitated. Annie had popped into my mind several times since yesterday.
Was she Victor’s type? Did they text? Had they kissed? Had he met up with her after hanging around my house, painting with me all day?
I didn’t want to care about any of that, but as much as I tried to fight it, a part of me really cared.
I turned to her. “Did you and Victor …?” I winced, hearing that question in my own voice, as if the words left my mouth of their own accord.
Her eyes dropped as she shook her head. “No,” she said. “For a minute, I thought we might.”
“Oh,” I said, annoyed at the relief flooding my body.
“I should’ve known better.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s Victor Hernandez, you know.” She said the last part as if I’d commiserate, as if I knew exactly what she meant.
He’s Victor Hernandezrang in my ears the whole walk back to my office.
Iplopped down in my office chair, dropping everything on my desk. Annie’s remark was like a little alarm bell waking me up from this silly fantasy I was about to let myself get swept away in. Because I did know exactly what she meant.
I knew Victor’s reputation. He was young and carefree. He was one of the handsome Hernandez brothers from Sweet River—the one who notoriously broke hearts.He’s not into serious relationships, was something I’d often heard people say about him when chatting with my friends, back before we’d developed our own friendship.He’s not the type of guy you’d hang your hopes on, they’d sigh, and I’d nod along.
Now that I knew Victor better, I did notice that his reputation was right. He was never seriously dating anyone, or dating anyoneat all, for that matter. Maybe he just wasn’t interested right now. He was still young and figuring out the next steps in his life.
Yet, there was a part of my heart that tugged toward him. But if he was the type of guy who didn’t get into serious relationships, I was the type of girl who couldn’t ignore alarm bells. I’d watched my own dad walk out when I was a little girl; even my straightlaced, safe-as-they-come boyfriend had left. If I were guessing, young and playful Victor would definitely have an expiration date in my life.
Even if he kissed me in my office in a way that I couldn’t get out of my head
“Do not let this get you all confused, Olivia,” I chastised myself in a whisper. I was nearly thirty. I knew better by now.
My phone vibrated on my desk, jolting me from my thoughts. A message from Victor appeared on the screen.
Victor
am I still the talk of the campus today?
I typed up a quick reply. Definitely. It misses you already.
But then I let my fingers hover over the screen for a moment, rereading it before tapping delete until each letter was gone. I let out a slow breath.That was too flirty, right?I chewed on my lip.
Since when did I overthink my messages to Victor?I was letting the kiss get my insides all twisted.
I pushed my phone away, deciding to worry about the reply later, waking up my computer screen instead.
Victor didn’t come over the next few days, which I tried telling myself was a good thing. I could use that time to make sure my head was in order when it came to him and whatever our arrangement was going to be, stacking up my thoughts and feelings like loose paperwork.
I also used that time to research classes and workshop ideas, printing out syllabi and reading lists. One rainy evening, they were scattered around my feet as Julia Roberts filled my TV screen and a half-drunk glass of red wine sweated on my coffee table.
“None of these courses feel right,” I told Gracie, who had FaceTimed me in the middle of my messy evening. I twisted my phone so she could see the papers everywhere.
“I’m sorry you’re still stuck,” she sympathized, sticking out her lower lip.
“I can’t imagine my students getting excited about any of these.”
“Well, I’m sorry. I know you, Liv. You won’t settle until you find just the right course,” she said encouragingly before switching gears. “How’s everything else going in your life? How’re thingson campus?” Her voice was higher as she finished the sentence.
Was she probing?
I sank deeper into the couch. Rain pattered against the window. “Campus life, huh? Well, the romance book club met up today. It turned into a venting session for some college romance drama.”
