Page 29 of The Boyfriend Boycott
“I’m going to …” she cries, and the sudden release wracks her body, her core tightening, her body shaking. I catch her in my arms before she falls, and lower her onto the bed next to me. She comes to rest next to me, the tension leaving her muscles, and I bring myself on top of her.
I kiss her once, twice. My mouth is tender on hers as she catches her breath, and I slide myself into her tight opening, still pulsing.
I gave her what she wanted from me, an orgasm and nothing more. But that’s not what I want. I want Spencer to feel how badly I need her, how being with her is the single most important thing to me. I’m going to show her how it feels when I look her in the eyes and make love to her.
CHAPTER 12
SPENCER
Gradyand I are lying next to each other under his duvet, while the last rays of sunlight cast a golden haze over the room. His eyes are closed, dark lashes resting softly on his cheek. I search his face for an answer to the question that popped into my mind after I came down off my last orgasmic high. The question that hasn’t left me alone. Why did that last time feel so different? Why am I lying here, staring at his face, the pink flush in his cheeks, the strong line of his jaw? Why does my chest feel like it’s been pried open, and the only way to soothe the raw vulnerability is to curl myself into Grady’s body?
Sex, for me, has always been fun, but this was different. This was layered. Grady looked me in the eyes, his strong hand cupping my jaw so that despite all of my instincts to look away, I had to peer back. To let him see me. He fucked me slowly, gently, letting each thrust go deeper until he had reached my inner sanctum. The part of me that I keep under lock and key. He fucked me until all of my pent-up feelings about my mother, about myself, disintegrated into nothing. All that was left was me and Grady. It was terrifying, yet I didn’t balk at it.
Until now.
Now the heat of the moment has dissipated, and I’m feeling exposed.
Grady’s eyelashes flutter as he opens them, catching me staring at him.
“What are you thinking about?” Grady says, his tone open and soft, still holding space for me and all of my fucked up, tangled mess of emotions. Ready to confront the swirling thoughts before I am.
“I’m thinking that I need to pee,” I say, getting up and grabbing the first piece of clothing I can find off the floor. When I slip it on, I realize it’s Grady’s T-shirt. The hem comes down to the tops of my thighs, so I don’t take it off to pad down the hallway to find the bathroom.
I open the door directly across the hall from Grady’s room and stand there, suddenly frozen in place, until I hear him approach me from behind.
His arm wraps around my waist and he buries his face in my hair.
“You know my room has an ensuite,” he mumbles. I don’t answer, because I’m stunned. What I’m standing in front of looks like a little girl’s nursery.
The walls are wallpapered with delicate florals in pinks and blues, and cornflower blue board and batten wrap the bottom portion all the way around the room. There’s a crib in one corner, a rocking chair in another, and on the far wall, a bookshelf already filled with books.
I pull away from Grady slightly. I can’t tell if he has a secret family, a child he’s never told me about, or an entire secret identity.
“If you’re thinking that this room is for a child of mine, then it’s not what you think,” he starts, and I turn to face him, his arms still wrapped around me.
“I don’t know what to think …”I frantically search his face for an answer as my mind races with every other possible explanation for this. I come up short.
See?My brain screams at me.This is why you shouldn’t trust people. You never know when they’re going to tell you they have a secret family.
“Well, if you’re thinking that I’m crazy because I turned a spare room in my house into a bedroom for my niece-to-be, then you’d be right on the money.”
I back away at what he’s just told me, not out of hurt or betrayal, just surprise. I wander around the room and take in the folded linens in the crib.
“Are you planning on kidnapping her?” I ask, and Grady laughs with a smile that crinkles the corners of his eyes.
“No, but I’m sure it will be difficult to resist.” His expression falls as he brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck, and colour blooms across his cheeks. “Ally and Mason are always so busy with the clinic. I don’t know if they’ll be able to take much time off. I offered to babysit for them regularly. It’s why I hired Finn. I’ll be able to leave the bar a bit more and help them out. I just want her to feel at home here.”
I swallow past the lump that has formed in my throat. Ally is the one person in this world that I love more than anything, and now, by proxy, that extends to her daughter. The fact that Grady has done this … I can’t fathom it. He says that he doesn’t know how to show people how much he cares, but this. This right here is Grady’s heart exploded all over this beautiful, delicate, soft room. No one in my life has ever gone out of their way to make me feel welcome, or like I have a space to call my own. The best I got was a curtain around a couch in some middle-aged guy’s basement, and only if my mom remembered to ask.
I’m walking the perimeter of the room, taking in every word of what he’s saying and trying not to let my emotions get thebetter of me. I stop at the bookshelves in the corner that he’s stocked with every book a kid could ask for, and sit down on the rug.
“You know, I always dreamt of having something like this,” I say, running my finger along the colourful spines, and taking out an old classic,Where the Wild Things Are. I thumb through the pages, thinking about how much I related to Max as a kid. A wild imagination, a heart for adventure, but an insatiable need to return home.
“What, a library?” Grady asks, cocking his head to one side.
“No,” I answer simply. “A room.”
Grady is quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. I’ve just opened up about a very tumultuous time in my childhood, a part of me that is so far from his own reality, and I’m sure it will be too much for him.
