Page 94 of For Cowgirls and Kings
“And the connection to me? What the fuck was that about?”
I rub the back of my neck. I hate the way all of that played out, but it worked in Gus’s favor, so maybe he won’t hate me forever about it. “I just happened to see you sitting in a booth, arm slung over Dale, not the girl McCrae said you’d been stalking, one night. And call it protective instinct?—”
“More like pissing on your territory,” Gus grumbles and I shrug.
“Whatever. I didn’t like it. And I asked McCrae to just drop in and warn you off. I knew there was bad blood, and at the time didn’t care. I thought seeing him would be enough of a surprise to make you stay away from her. Again, all I knew about you was that you had stalked a girl for ten years, and betrayed your brother.”
“He almost destroyed everything,” he argues, his grip on the bottle vicious.
“That was all him. He got it in his head that you were going to get in too deep, and not be able to protect yourself. At least that’s what he told me when I confronted him. But I don’t know how much truth there is in that.”
“He never wanted me to be happy. He never wanted me to settle down, or find love—makes you weak. He’s purelyselfish. A demon in human form.” His eyes drift off toward the barn where a couple of my hands are busy feeding and putting up the horses for the evening.
I just nod. There’s no point in telling him that I think there’s more to it. Even though I don’t like McCrae, and I hate what he did, I do think there was some good intention there—buried beneath venomous execution.
“Do you like all this?” He sweeps a hand out over the expanse of my family ranch. I follow his gaze, that familiar feeling of discontentment stirring in my chest.
“I like ranching.”
“This isn’t a ranch. This is a kingdom, and you do very little of the labor.”
I want to argue with him. I work hard here. But I didn’t have to work hard for what I have, and I think that’s what’s truly different. Gus doesn’t understand that, and that’s okay.
“What am I supposed to do? Get rid of it?”
“If you want to keep her”—his eyes bore into the side of my face—“you might have to. She doesn’t belong in a place like this. You asked how I did it? I knew there was no other outcome than being with her. So waiting, giving up sex, watching her with others, or struggling, whatever the case, was the only option. It was hard, sure, but it wasn’t even close to as hard as it would have been letting her go.”
“I know, I just?—”
“No, shut up.”
“It’s not that simple,” I growl, leaning forward. I suck in a sharp breath, but Gus remains silent, waiting. Finally I exhale, closing my eyes. “I can’t sell the ranch because I can’t sell the casino. The estate was set up so that one couldn’t be sold without the other. And even though I don’t care about the casino, I could never take it away from my sister.”
“Why not? After everything she’s done?” His voice is full ofa skeptical note I refuse to feel. Deep down I owe V, even if I’m also angry with her.
“But—”
“There are no ‘buts’. None. Stetson came first. Every. Fucking. Time. And when I finally got her? I sure as fuck never let her question how much I needed her. I’d cut my own heart out before making her feel for a second like it wasn’t hers.”
I lean back, watching the sun tear sleepy ribbons across the Texas sky. I don’t know what else to say.
Everything Gus is saying is terrifying. Not because I don’t feel that way about Dale, but because I think I do. And what the hell does that mean for my future?
THIRTY-FIVE
MATEO
March 7th, 2025
Dale seems better,and yet not. Some minutes I see a small beam of light shining in her face, like a promise of a new beginning. And the next—darkness, like she’s trapped and doesn’t know a way out.
I want to be with her, hold her,worship her,but I don’t want to push her too hard too fast either. I’ve been waiting not so patiently for two weeks for Dale to make a move—show me she’s not only ready to start living a little, but that she wants me.Because fuck, I want her.It’s all I can think about.
Part of me thought she’d stay in my bed after that first night, but when I woke up, she was gone from my room, and hasn’t been back since. Maybe I didn’t make my intentions clear. Or maybe it wasn’t as good for her as it was for me. Either way, I’m beyond desperate to have her touch me again, and I know I’ll do just about anything to make it happen.
My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket. Gus’s name flashes across the screen and I open it without hesitation—we’re still not talking much and he’s never been one to text.
GUS: She ok?
