Page 3 of For Cowgirls and Kings
Damn, I was hoping once she started blabbering I would think of it.
“Mom, please leave Ms. Mendes alone, she’s so busy.” The woman’s thin eyebrow quirks just a fraction, taking in the fact that I’m nearly hiding behind the stage curtain, and flashes me a small, quizzical smile. I’ve been caught, but her daughter likes me too much for her to mention it.
I could hug Sasha, and as she moves next to me, her dark hair brushed into a pretty pony-tail at her neck, her suede navy blue jacket stiff on her shoulders, I do just that. I hug her quickly, trying to draw strength from her kind, naive, beautiful form.
I don’t love all my students—my kids more accurately—but a few of them have wormed into my heart in an irreplaceable way.
I don’t know that I’ll ever have kids of my own, and I like to think my students are gifts from god. Even if most of them make me want to rip my hair out every other day.
“You look beautiful, Men-men.” I hug her tighter, only for a second longer. I know close relationships with students are frowned upon, regardless of how innocent they are, but the bond between agriculture teachers and their students is different—deeper. And most parents and students know it.
“Alright, get to work Sash. Make me look good.” I release her, and gently push her into the throng of milling people, all waiting to have a word with me no doubt.
I don’t mind being the center of attention. Hell, I even like it most of the time. But sometimes it’s exhausting; this is one of those times.
“Men! The boys can’t find the microphone,” Jill, a small blonde-haired sophomore girl, yells across the room and I groan. They’d lose their heads if they weren’t attached. I point to the podium and she smiles sheepishly, remembering our conversation from yesterday where I told her right where I was hiding it.
I spot a flash of golden blonde hair, and dark curls smothered in a black cowboy hat in the sea of people and smile wider. Seeing them together fills me with so much joy. They may be my only real bright spot tonight, so I float towards them, drawn to their light, flashing like a lighthouse in a turbulent sea. People extend eager hands toward me, kids running to and from my blue dress with messy paws, and more than one sharp “Ms. Mendes” pierces the air. I smile at each passing face, a promise to be right back, but I don’t stop.
I can’t.
If I do, they’ll surely pull me under.
“Hey!”
Stetson whirls on me, a bright smile already claiming her plump, heart shaped lips and my hand grips her elbow, more to steady myself than anything. I already feel like I’m drowning and the night hasn’t even started.
How does the saying go—put your floatation device on before you help someone else? Well, I’ve been keeping others afloat for so long, I forgot that I’m, in fact, not the life raft itself.
My eyes scour the room again, searching for any impending mishaps or explosions just waiting to go off. My nerves are fried and I need a shot of tequila. Or five.
“You okay?” Stetson’s voice is laced with concern and I have to snap my largest smile back into place to keep from falling apart completely.
“Oh yeah! Just ready for this to be over.” My voice doesn’t waver, and I’m grateful.
“You look beautiful.” Her hand squeezes atop of mine, stillgripping her elbow, and I relax my fingers. I take a better look at her, and snort, a brief but genuine flutter of happiness consuming my stomach.
I steal a quick glance at the dark shadow standing behind her, noting how his midnight eyes trace her face. He’s devilishly handsome, but I’ve never wanted him for myself, regardless of what Stetson might think. I’ve always known they were endgame; she just needed a shove in that direction. Like a stubborn horse.
“Girl, so do you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress, or with a hickey. I like it though, it really suits your porn star lips.”
Her jaw unhinges, and I tally another mark in my hidden book, for making her feel something besides that miserable sadness. She blushes. Two marks then. I drop her elbow, satisfied to see her happy and well-fucked—what more can you want for your best friend—and scan the room once more.
I cuss under my breath.
What the fuck is he doing here?Like I don’t have enough distractions? If this all goes to shit, there’ll be enough people disappointed in me—and now to have the fear of disappointing him weighing on me? I’ll surely die before this cursed night is over.
When I called him weeks ago, I didn’t think about what else that would bring—what complications andfeelingswould be stirred at the mere sight of my former best friend after nearly ten years of little to no contact. Stetson needed help, and I wanted to help her. I expected him to blow in and out of my life, for old times sake, because he’s always been reliable like that. But then the world would resume its normal appearance—the one where he lives in a castle, and I secretly keep tabs on him through news articles and social media blasts.
Life, of course, never works out the way we expect it to, andnow he seems to think being in my life again is something worth pursuing.But why?It was complicated when we were teenagers—even then I knew we were destined for two different worlds—but now that we’re adults? Nothing good can come from a friendship between us, because that’s all it can be.Friends,and friendships never work out between a man and woman, especially when one of them has secretly harbored stupid feelings forever.
I blush, and I hate the way his eyebrow raises, noticing it too, even from across the room. He looks so out of place in the sale barn, among the well-dressed but definitely lower class families milling about. He looks like a statue among them; tall, proud, and completely untouchable.
Before I can do something really stupid, like go talk to him, I turn back to the kids who are already causing trouble, waving over my shoulder at Stetson and Gus. “I gotta go round up more kids. Enjoy dinner and the auction.” I hear her huff behind me, and a small part inside of me deflates, but I whisper-shout, “love you!” and blow her a kiss as a parting gift.
Only as the invisible kiss leaves my palm, it’s his eyes I stare straight into.
TWO
