Page 45 of For Cowgirls and Kings
And the several male gazes I’ve already clocked taking in—and appreciating—her appearance.
“Because I’m not going home tonight.” It’s so nonchalant that I almost take the statement at face value.Like, duh Mateo.
But then I think better of it. “Where the hell are you going then?” I instantly regret the question.
Gone is the pure, innocent, sweet Dale I knew. This vicious, feral, wild woman has taken over her body, and I have a feeling she’s here to stay. I don’t know what happened, but something switched, or broke, and I know with deathly certainty, it’ll never be the same again.
“Anywhere. As long as it’s home with someone who can take care of me.” She stares into my eyes, her chocolatey orbs never wavering as she says the words.
“Dale,” I growl, reaching for her again. “I’ll take you home, let’s go.”
“Your home?” she challenges, and I instantly let go of her elbow. She doesn’t know what she’s saying, what she’s asking of me. She doesn't know what she’s implying.
Because if she did, she certainly wouldn’t be willingly propositioning herself to me or any man here who might take her.
“Are you going to take me home”—she pauses to lick her lips for dramatic effect—“and take care of me? Or will we remain friends like we’ve always been?”
Or maybe she would.
“Dale, listen to what you’re saying. You’re drunk.”
“I’ve had one beer Mateo,” she scoffs,rolling her eyes and I’ve the overwhelming urge to bend her over and spank her ass for it.
“Everything going alright over here?”
I snap my gaze to the annoying, and far too familiar, voice ofKevin,as he saunters over to Dale and I. His eyes take in her appearance hungrily, and every cell in my body instantly calls for violence. For blood—his blood.
Which is entirely out of character for me, and I don’t know what to make of the sudden surge of anger coursing through my veins.
“Nope, just discussing if Mateo here is man enough to take me home or not.” Dale’s words hit me like a blow to the stomach.
“What the fuck, Dale?” I step closer to her, calculating how I’ll get her over my shoulder and out of here without causing too much more of a scene.
“I’m tired of everyone acting like I’m breakable, or some precious doll they don’t want to even take out and play with for fear of ruining my perfect exterior. I want to be ruined, I want to be played with.”
My heart pounds frantically against my rib cage, and oxygen fights to reach my brain as I’m doing more than taking short, jabbing gasps of it.I want to be played with.
God, give me strength.
“I’m more than happy to help with…Dale?” Kevin walks closer, his cologne and beer scent clogging my nose. It’s putrid, and repulsive, but Dale doesn’t even seem to notice as she steps closer to him—into his chest, placing her hand above his peck, looking up at him with her eyelashes fluttering.
He doesn’t even know her fucking name, and she’s what? Going to go with him? Fuck him?
Over my dead fucking body.
“Dale, that’s enough.” Every rational thought fleesfrom my mind. I’ll break his sternum and remove the skin where her hands rests if she doesn’t take it off him.Now.My skin vibrates with the need to exact violence on this man that only moments ago I was indifferent to.
She turns her head, her face devoid of emotion, eyes glittering with a mix of both anger and fear. But there’s also determination and resignation there, and I know in my heart of hearts, I won't stop her from walking down this road.
My choice now lies in if I will be the one to walk with her, walk beside her, or walk away. And none of those feel like the right option.
As much as I’m attracted to her, I also don’t want to lose her friendship—I can’t. She’s the only real friend I have. And having a lame, one night stand feels like a good way to permanently end our friendship.
Walking away isn’t an option, even if it is the one my rage filled brain is screaming at me to do.Fuck this, and fuck her for putting me in this situation.But I also can understand her, sympathize with her. She’s never been allowed to make a mistake in her life, and the weight of that burden would become too much for even the strongest person.
So walking with her, even if it kills me, is the only option left. I’ll be here, when she needs a friend, and nothing more. Because I can’t lose her, and I can’t be with her either.
Nodding, I will my trembling body to fold back into itself, showing her, she wins.
