Page 143 of For Cowgirls and Kings
“Dale?” His voice cracks as he says my name.
“What, the fuck, is this Mateo?” My voice trembles, and I don’t bother denying it. Mateo drops the reins of the horse, jumping over the fence in one fluid motion. He doesn’t reach out to touch me, but we’re close enough our body heat mixes in the space between us. He looks over my shoulder, and as if pulled by an invisible string, I turn, following his gaze to the house there.
“A big adobe thing,” he starts, his voice taking on a rather far off tone, like he’s practiced the words a million times. On instinct, I reach out, gripping his hand in mine. I feel like I might fall off the face of the earth if I don’t hold onto Mateo—the one thing that seems to be tethering me to this existence anyways.His hand squeezes around mine in return, but his eyes don’t look away from the house. “With a fenced courtyard in the front. The pool’s empty still, but it’s in the back of the house, and I have a few cactus planted, but you never specified what kind and how many, so I left most of the space for you to design.”
My heart gallops frantically at his words, my vision blurring as I fight to keep my composure.
“I know green and purple are your favorite colors, so I did the doors in a cactus-y color green, and the pool tiles in the back are purple—Stetson picked them out so if you hate them, blame her. There’s planter boxes under all the windows that we can still paint, to add more color, and the inside is all pretty simple still because I wanted your creativity to help design it.” He pauses, as if he’s afraid he’s rambling. And then he sighs. “I don’t have longhorns yet, but I did bring a few horses with me from my old ranch—Sven, and Childers, the one I know you like. You’re welcome to bring Chuck here too, anytime, and?—”
“Mateo,” I sob, his words too much. Everything seems like a fairytale once more, and even though I desperately want him, I can’t wake up tomorrow, only to realize this isn’t real. I’ll never survive it.
He stiffens slightly, and I can feel his pulse quicken beneath my hand. He’s as nervous as I am, and it’s enough to give me the confidence I need.
He turns to face me, his eyes rounded and glistening, and I want to bite my own tongue off for ever hurting him. I’ve never known such free, uninhibited emotion—like he feels so much for me, he couldn’t contain it if he wanted to.
My knees tremble.
“Mateo, what is this?” I whisper, my eyes threatening to overflow.
“A house,” he mumbles.
“I see that.” I sniffle. “But why? What does it mean?”
He sucks in a ragged breath, and then faces me completely. His free hand raises, his knuckles running over my chin and cheek.
“It’s our home, Dale. If you want it. Fuck, I want you to want it. I’ve never really allowed myself to want anything—I always felt like I had too much already, that I was too blessed to be the kind of person who wants things, prays for things. But Dale, baby, I want you. I pray for you, for this, for us—” I sob, the sound ripping from my chest, taking all of the pain and fear with it. His hand grips my chin, tipping my now tear streaked face to his. “I realize now that what I had wasn’t who I am. And so I sold it,everything.And I bought this place, and built this house, and purchased the sale barn, and I want to build a life here. I want to build a life with you. It’s the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted.”
I feel like I’m slipping, free-falling into the unknown. And for the first time in my life, someone offers tocatch me.
“Dale, I’ve got you. I promise this is all I’ve ever wanted and I’ll do whatever I have to, to have this dream with you. I’ll wait forever, if that’s how long it takes. But there’s no dream without you in it, and with everything we’ve been through, I think we both deserve to start living our dreams.”
I shake my head, still in disbelief, even as my heart wants nothing more than to fall into him.It still seems too good to be true.“What about your family's business, the ranch, the casino? What about your family?”
His hand quivers in mine, like he’s keeping himself from pulling me closer. “I sold everything Dale. I don’t have a family, if you’re not the center of it. I found a workaround, where if I sold everything, and reinvested it, then the family itself wouldn’t lose anything. So like I said, I bought this place, and a few other properties in Moztecha, including the sale barn?—”
“Why the sale barn?” I whisper, my romantic heart getting ahead of my logical brain.Which has never once served me for good.
He barks a laugh, the sound catching me off guard, and then his eyes soften further. “There was no other building in town that was truly important to me.”
“Why Mateo?”
“Because it’s where we first kissed. And where I fell in love with you, all those years ago.”
His words are the last remaining blow to my denial, and I crush my arms around his waist, my face pressed into his chest. His heart thunders beneath my ear, but I can barely hear it above my own as tears burn down my face. “How can you remember that? How can this be happening?”
His arms engulf me, the smell of horse and sweat grounding me, while my mind races. “The truth is, I don’t know how to answer that question. I have no idea how or why we ended uphere, but I’ll never question it, never put it in jeopardy again. This is everything.Dale, you are everything.”
“Mateo, you are my everything.” I squeeze him tighter, afraid to ruin the moment, but afraid to move forward without at least a little more reality. “But what about Valentina?”
He sighs, and I can hear the pain in his voice as he says, “I bought a place on the outskirts of Moztecha, about thirty minutes from here, and gave it to her. It’s a grandiose place—honestly way over the top, but I know that’s the life she’s been accustomed to and I don’t hold that against her—and she has to live and learn to run the ranch for the next three years or she loses everything. My mom, bless her wandering heart, didn’t want anything beside an old baby album.”
His certainty, his well-thought out and then executed plan, they’re a balm to my broken soul. There’s no one else on this earth who could break me and heal me, the way Mateo does.
So I let the reins on my life and heart go, and I give them to the one man who’s held them all along. “I love you. I always have. And I want this life with you. I want any life, as long as it’s with you.” I press a kiss on his chest, above his racing pulse. Then I tip my chin upward, taking a small step back to look into his eyes.
The smile he gives me is blinding, only muted through the film of tears pouring from my eyes. And then he leans forward, his lips hovering above mine. “I love you Dale. I want to give you the life you deserve. I want to give us both this life.” And then he kisses me, like it’s the ending of a story book, full of love and promise.
But it’s not the end.Our story is only beginning.
