Page 22 of Burn Bright
A warm smile inches up my face, and we text back and forth for a second.
Ben Cobalt
I’m not sure you have the power to cause hair loss.
Mom
I’m your mother. My powers are limitless.
Ben Cobalt
They can probably be put to better use than on me.
Mom
I disagree. The greatest force of my power will always be reserved for my children. And that includes you.
“I know,” I whisper to the phone. She’s so scared I don’t feel included since I’m the least “intellectual” of our very academic, creative-minded brood. I’m the athlete who dislikes Shakespeare and has never read Austen and don’t get me started on Faulkner. It’s migraine-inducing.
All the things the great and mighty Rose and Connor love, I just don’t click with.
But my parents have never treated me like I’m inadequate for not reaching theperfectCobalt standard. They’ve valued our uniqueness and have even fostered it. I’ve never felt pressure to achieve more or be more than I am. At least not from them.
I scroll to another message.
Dad
While you’re in New York, would you want to see Frederick?
His life-long therapist? He hasn’t even letCharliesee Dr. Frederick Cothrell. From what I’ve gathered, our dad is afraid Charlie would mind-fuck Frederick into giving details about his own sessions. We’re all in therapy, by the way. To either vent or make sense of our strange place in this world or for unknown personal reasons that we don’t openly share. The latter, beingme.
All seven of us have gone at various points. Some more than others. As far as I’m aware, Tom and Charlie go the most.
With maybe me at third place.
I reread the text about twenty times, my leg bouncing again.
I trust my dad.
But I also trust that his concern for me has reached Mount Everest elevations. I trust that my parents would doanythingto ensure my safety and well-being. Even if it means secretly prying without my knowledge.
Is it still an invasion of privacy if the intent is pure?
Yeah, probably.
But it’s more difficult not to love how deeply they care about me. I’d never choose their apathy. Which just makes me think of Charlie. I can’t evenimaginehim as a father. I fuckingfearfor that child.
And Frederick—would he break doctor-patient confidentiality and tell my parents about our sessions? I want to sayno.My dad has only ever said Frederick is unbiased and reasonable. But I do know that my dad is smart enough to also mind-fuck Frederick, so no…I don’t want to see his therapist.
At times, being in my family feels like one ginormous game of chess.
Thing is, I also hate chess.
I lose nearly every time. But that’s not why I play the least of everyone. I’d just rather be stretching my legs than stretching my mind.
Ben Cobalt
I prefer to continue seeing Dr. Wheeler. He said he’d take video calls.
