Beckett freezes cold. Fury lances his yellow-green eyes. I’ve seen his calm exterior rupture and explode quite a few times in my life, but mostly it’s only ever been to protect Charlie.
“Usewhat?” Eliot asks, breathing hard. “Beckett?”
Tom gapes. “Dude.” New York hedonism, they’re all surrounded by the lifestyle of debauchery, riches, and fame.
Ben stares haunted at the table.
I glance backward at the bar, and Sulli mouths to me,what the fuck?Beckett is her best friend. None of them knew.
Not until now.
Beckett lets out a blistering breath. “Thanks,sis.” He glares at Thatcher. “Fuck your brother—”
“He didn’t do anything,” Thatcher snaps.
“I knowBankssaw me do a key bump, and I know he told you. Half of Omega already found out.” Beckett pins his glare back on me. “I use so I can dance through minor pain. That’s it.”
“A key bump in an alley helps you dance?” I combat.
“It wasbeforerehearsal.” He snuffs out his cigarette on the ashtray.
I lean toward him. “You’ll hurt yourself more if you dance with injuries.”
He throws up a hand. “You think I’m the only one who does?Everyonepushes their bodies to extremes. I’dloveto just pop Adderall like half the company, but I can’t!”
My face twists. “Why can’t you?Notthat you should do that either,” I add quickly.
Beckett shifts backwards, then forwards. He turns to Charlie. “I’m not doing this here.”
“Yes you are.”
“Charlie,” he pleads. “Let me go.”
Charlie can’t look at his twin. He eyes me, in need of an assist.
I come in. “Beckett—”
“Adderall terrorizes my OCD!Okay?” Beckett rubs his palms together, then clutches his thighs. “Cocaine doesn’t.”
“You don’t have to use,” I say gently. “You have a choice.”
Sudden quiet slices the bar into a billion little pieces.
Beckett shakes his head, and then he tells me, “That’s easy for you to say.”
I bristle, hurt gripping my insides. “What does that mean?”
He’s blunt and honest, and I don’t expect Beckett to hold back—but he does this time. He just keeps shaking his head.
I’m not an idiot.
I clutch the table and careen forward to be closer to him. “You think I have no room to talk because I’ve never strived for anything like you? Because I have no talents and no ambition like you?”
His reddened eyes lift to mine. “I giveeverythingto ballet. My time, my body, mylife.What have you ever given to something you’ve loved?”
“I’ve givenall of myselfto my family,” I retort, tears burning my eyes. I’m the older sister. I carry the torch that lights the way, and if I drop it, no one behind me can see. “And I don’t care if you can’t see that—but there is a reason you never told yourbest friendyou use.” I turn in my chair.
Sulli is already approaching the booth. Disappointment all over her face. “What the fuck, Beckett. How long?”