Page 53 of Trust Me
We pull up in front of the bakery and Jake throws it in park. He gets out and goes inside without as much as a glance in my direction. I check the clock on the dash, which says eleven forty. That means Avery isn’t here yet on her lunch break.
Jake’s standing at the counter talking to his mom. I decide to check email on my phone while I wait for whatever it is he’s doing in there.
A few minutes later, I hear a knock on my window. Elizabeth Stevens is standing on the sidewalk and bends down to look in the window, giving me a friendly smile. I roll down the window and smile back.
“What are you doing out here, honey?” she asks.
“Oh, I don’t think I’m welcome right now in the bakery with him.”
“He has always been my most stubborn child. Bullheaded as all get out, that one is.” Elizabeth laughs a little and continues on, “You know, Maddox, I don’t know everything that’s going on between you and Avery and Jake, but I do know that everyone is hurting in their own way right now. And someone has to take the bull by the horns and make this right. You’ve always been like another son to me. I love you just like I do myown boys. You are caring and kind and have the biggest soft spot for helping people.
“Well, there are two people right now who need your help. Things are happening that they, and you, don’t understand. Talk to them. Figure out if there is a way to make this right. If after you talk and you discover it can’t be fixed, then fine. Move on. Life doesn’t stop because you get knocked down, Maddox. Get up, dust yourself off, and move forward.” She gives me a warm, caring smile that I can’t help but return.
“You’ve been my second mom for most of my life. How do you always know just what to say?” I ask as I give her a small smile.
“That’s what moms do, dear boy. My girl may not realize it yet, but she loves you. Avery’s problem is that she’s almost as stubborn as Jake. She’ll come to terms with what happened between you two, but she won’t swallow her pride and come to you. You’ll have to do it, Maddox. If you want to, that is.”
I realize more than anything I want to. “You’re the best, Mrs. S.” She leans in through the window and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“Avery’s a very lucky girl to have you,” she says as she turns and walks back into the bakery. Jake comes out a few minutes latercarrying a bag of food. He takes a sandwich out and tosses me the bag. I reach in and pull out a sandwich.
“Thanks,” I throw at him as I dive into the delicious roast beef sandwich.
“From my mom,” he says in a flat tone.
As we approach the precinct at the end of our shift, I finally try to talk to him. “Are we going to discuss this?”
“Nope.”
“Not at all? You’re just gonna be pissed at me forever?”
“I haven’t decided yet. I know that for right now, I’m still pissed.”
“Fair enough. Just know I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’d never intentionally hurt you. Either of you.” Then I get out of the car, leaving him sitting there. I head inside to file my paperwork, and hopefully get out of here before too many others start to question my still-battered face. I got lucky yesterday and there was hardly anyone there at the end of shift. I mentally cross my fingers and hope for the best.
*****
The next two weeks pass by in a slow blur of days running into nights, which are mostly sleepless as I toss and turn, my mind filled with thoughts of Avery. I know I want to be with her, I just need to make sure I’ve got my shit together first. If I go to her before I get everything straightened out in my life, I know I’ll just kill our second chance. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to do that. If and when Avery gives me a second chance, I will make sure there is nothing getting in the way of it.
Her past is her own to work out, and I’m hoping these past three weeks have helped her do that. For me, I’ve discovered I’m ready to let go of my fear of commitment and relationships. I want nothing more than to be the man she deserves and a good father to Brooklyn. Every time I think of that outgoing, rambunctious three-year-old, I smile. She may have the worst kind of father on paper, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t have the best father in her life. I’ve realized I want to be that man. I want to be her father. And that thought doesn’t scare me anymore. Three months ago, I would have run for the hills. That was before I fell in love with that little girl and her mother.
I also discovered that being with someone you truly love is better than any one-night stand could ever be. What I felt and shared with Avery is more than every girl I’ve had sex with in the past, times a hundred. I can’t imagine not being with her for the rest of my life.
And it’s not just the sex, which is damn awesome, but I love just being with her. Whether it’s sitting on the couch and watching TV or taking her out for pizza and beer, I want to be with her, near her, because I’m a better man when I am. She makes me smile and laugh and challenges me in ways I never thought possible.
I miss her something fierce. I miss her smile and her laugh. I miss the way her eyes sparkle the brightest blue when she’s happy. I miss the feel of her arms around me and my arms firmly around her. I miss the way her body molds against mine while we’re falling asleep, and the noises she makes while we’re making love.
Avery is what I want tonight, tomorrow, and forever. It’s time I tell her and show her. I’m done sitting back and waiting. It’s time to take action and beg for forgiveness because I am definitely not above a little begging at this point. The time has come that I tell her how much I love her, and hopefully, when I’m done laying my heart out in front of her, she won’t hand it back to me inshattered pieces.
*****
After my run on Friday night, I decide to shower and head to the store. I haven’t really shopped in almost three weeks, either just stopping in and grabbing necessities or ordering takeout on my way home. As I’m heading to the store, I see a familiar old truck parked in front of Jack’s. It’s still a little early for the Friday night crowd so there’s plenty of parking around our regular hang-out. Without giving it too much thought, I whip into a spot behind Jake’s truck and head inside.
When I break the threshold, I see James and a few others in the back by our pool table. No Jake. When I scan the bar area, I finally spot him sitting on a stool, talking to old man Jack at the end of the bar. He’s in the farthest seat from the door. Before I can chicken out, I head over and sit in the empty seat to his left.
“Hey, Jack. Slow night?”
“Eh, it’s still early,” he says as he slides a draft beer in front of me. Jack gives me an encouraging little nod and walks over to the otherside of the bar to help other patrons.
