Page 123 of The Good Girl Effect
“Jack, wake up,” she calls again, this time more assertively. When Phoenix shoves me hard in the shoulder, I give in.
“What the fuck, Nix?” I bark, turning back toward her.
“Your phone has been ringing all morning,” she says before tossing it on my bed.
Technically, it’s notmybed. It’s her guest room bed that she occasionally lets me crash in when I get too drunk at the club to go home. Which has been more frequent lately.
I sit upright in the bed, my back against the headboard. It doesn’t matter that I’m in just a pair of boxer briefs. Phoenix and I have seen each other in our underwear since we were kids and never once felt anything more than friendship for each other. It was always more comfortable that way.
Picking up my phone, I see it’s my dad’s number in the caller ID, but it stops ringing before I can answer. Between him andmy two moms, it’s been nonstop from them. I know they’re just concerned. And I assume it was my sister who clued them in on my recent…breakup? If that’s what we’re calling it.
A breakup before it even started.
Phoenix drops onto the bed and stares at me. “If I tell you that you can’t crash here anymore, do you think you’d stop drinking so much?”
I tilt my head at her. “No.”
She lets out a sigh. “Jack…”
“Don’t start,” I mutter as I rub my brows.
“It’s been two weeks.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I argue. Technically, I haven’t told anyone about Camille. Not the relationship. Not the breakup. None of it. But they always fucking find out.
To my surprise, she shoves me hard in the shoulder. “Don’t lie to me, Jack St. Claire.”
My eyes widen, seeing my normally docile friend so angry.
“I have been with you through everything. We’ve been friends since we were kids. When no one else understood what it was like to have a family like ours, you were there. You havealwaysbeen there for me, and you know I would do anything for you. Which is why I’m going to kick you out of my house and tell you that it’s time you get your life together.”
My brow furrows as I stare at her. I want to yell at her and tell her she has no idea what it’s like to go through what I went through, but I don’t. Because she’s right. As much as I hate it, I know she’s right.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers when she sees my anger. “But you can’t keep living like this. I know you loved Em, but her death was notyourdeath.”
“I know that,” I grumble without looking at her. “You don’t get it, Nix. It wasn’t just her death. It was like…I lost everything I had planned for my life.”
“So plan something new,” she urges. “Jesus, Jack. You still have that precious little girl. And a beautiful woman who loves you. Is getting drunk and crashing in my small apartment really better than that?”
I climb out of the bed and march across the room. “Of course not.” Grabbing my slacks from last night draped over the chair, I tug them on impatiently. I’m slipping back into the state of anger and depression I was in before Camille came along. Back when my fuse was short and nothing felt fulfilling.
“Then what are you waiting for?” she asks, and something in me snaps.
“I’m fucked-up, Phoenix!” My voice booms, echoing against the walls of her petite guest room. “They don’t want me. Not like this. They are better off without me, and you know it!”
“What are you talking about?” she replies with confusion.
“Think about it, Nix. I got Em pregnant, and that pregnancy killed her. If she had never married me…she could still be alive.”
Phoenix’s eyes go wide before glancing toward the door. When I turn to see what she’s looking at, I spot my sister lurking in the hallway.
Fuck.
With a huff, I pull my plain white tee over my head. I need to get out of here.
But even as I move toward the door and Elizabeth blocks it with an emotionless expression, I know I can’t get out of this so easily.
“Phoenix, can we have a minute?” she asks calmly.
