Page 37 of The Good Girl Effect
I am still curious, and I don’t scare easy.
I am not an innocent or naive woman.
If you think I don’t want the things you’ve described in your letter, you’re wrong. I want all those things, and I’m not afraid.
I want to know what it feels like to be bound the way you promise. And everything that comes with it.
So tell me. Are you a man of your word?
Or was this all talk?
Camille
When I’m done with my response, I quickly get dressed. After twisting my messy curls into a clip at the back of my head, I emerge from my room and tell Bea to get ready to leave.
While she’s busy getting her shoes on, I scurry up the stairs with my letter. My fingers are shaking as I tiptoe down the hall toward his room. Then, just as he did sometime last night or early this morning, I slide my letter under the door for him to read when he wakes.
There’s no taking it back now.
Bea and I come home from the park in time for lunch. I take a peek up the stairs and see no sign of Jack at all. I assume if he works all night, then he would probably sleep all day.
I can’t help but imagine my letter still lying on the floor, waiting to be read.
“What’s wrong?” Bea asks when she finds me sitting on the sofa with my face in my hands, distressed about what I’ve written in that letter.
I plaster a fake smile on my face as I shake my head. “Tout va bien,” I reply, trying to assure her that everything is fine.
There is an expression of concern on her face, and I’m plagued with guilt. It dawns on me then that all the adults inBea’s life have either left or retreated in their grief. She needs me to hold it together for her.
So I quickly shove away all thoughts of Jack and the letters, and I give her my full attention. After making lunch together, we spend the rest of the afternoon working on a puzzle, then reading a book, and finally, she settles down in her room for quiet time.
When I check on her after fifteen minutes and find her asleep, I breathe a sigh of relief. As much as I love spending my days with Bea, I am more exhausted than not.
I’m wiping down the counters in the kitchen when I hear movement upstairs. He’s awake—reading my letter at this moment. I freeze, waiting in anticipation. I can practically hear my heart thumping in my chest.
With a humiliated squeak, I cover my face with my hands and wait for his response. A long time goes by in silence. I continue to clean the kitchen, then prep for dinner. My eyes flash to the stairwell again and again.
I’m leaning against the counter when I hear his steps coming down. That invisible string between us pulls him nearer and nearer. The house is so quiet that I can barely breathe. I fully expect him to pass by the same way he does every day, but I hope he doesn’t.
When he appears in the doorway to the kitchen, all the air is sucked from the room. I see him so rarely that every time he stands before me, I am reminded of just how handsome he is. Dark hair, a chiseled jaw, piercing eyes, and a little dimple in the center of his chin.
He stands in silence, staring at me. The words in our letters hover around us like promising threats. Then I glance down and see my last letter held tightly in his hand. My breath hitches in my chest.
As he takes one menacing step after another toward me, I lean into the counter pressed against my lower back. He doesn’t stop his advances until his body is flush against mine, and I have to practically bend backward to hold his stare.
He lifts a finger and presses it to my mouth to keep me quiet.
As if I could speak. I can hardly breathe.
His eyes bore into mine as he brings his mouth closer. I’m thrown off by his proximity when he whispers, “You are a stubborn little thing, aren’t you?”
Silently, I nod, making him crack a smile. It’s the most warmth he’s ever given me, and I’m hungry for more.
“You’re playing with fire, you know that? I can’t seem to say no to you, although I should.”
His fingers drift away from my lips, but I don’t open my mouth or utter a word.
“I am a man of my word, so I will show you. But that’s all. A simple lesson. Anything more would be inappropriate. So we’ll see just how curious you are.”
