Page 29 of The Missing Book
“I should take my leave and let you finish your ice.” Getting quickly to his feet and fearing what would happen if he lingered, he bowed his head. “Thank you for listening to me, Lady Amelia.You are very gracious, especially after some of the things I have said.”
“Lord Broughton, I – ”
When he turned to look at her, Lady Amelia had clamped her lips together and then shook her head.
“It does not matter. I thank you for your willingness to come to speak to me on this. It is appreciated. More than I could express, I think.”
There was something there, was there not? Something in this moment, shared between them, that Leopold could not step away from. Something that burned through him, that sent a wave of longing crashing through his heart. He could not explain it but the way she gazed back into his eyes gave him a flicker of hope. Hope that he clung to as though it was his only support.
“Lord Broughton, good afternoon! I must say, I am surprised to see youwillinglyconversing with Lady Amelia, given what you think of bluestockings.”
The moment was ripped away from him as they were interrupted by the arrival of another bluestocking, a lady named Miss Trentworth from what he recalled.
“Good afternoon.” Rather than letting himself become riled by the remark, he only bowed. “I shall excuse myself now rather than take up any more of your time, Lady Amelia. Good afternoon to you both.”
As he walked away, there was a lightness in his step and indeed, in his very being which he had not felt for some time. It was as though the air itself had become sweeter, as though his whole body was suddenly alive with a renewed energy. A smile draped itself upon his features and he held it there, his head up, his stride long and a happiness covering him completely.
All because he had taken a risk, spoken to Lady Amelia in a way that was honest and open, and had gleaned a new connection with her, one that was, he hoped, would slowly beginto grow into something a good deal better than what he’d shared with her before!
I should talk to Anna also,he considered, making his way back towards the carriage now.She should know of my different considerations now and…He winced.I must apologize to her too. As difficult as it might be, I need to apologize for my harsh ways and strict demands.He exhaled slowly.Mayhap then, I might have a restored connection with her too.
“Anna?”
Walking into the drawing room, Leopold came to a sudden stop, his eyes fixed on his sister. She was curled up on the side of the couch, a handkerchief in her hand and her eyes red-rimmed.
“Anna! Whatever is the matter?” Rushing to her side, he bent to look into her face. “Are you unwell?”
Much to his relief, she shook her head.
“What can I do? What can I bring for you?”
Tears began to glisten in her eyes again. “Thank you, Broughton, but I am quite all right.”
“You are clearly not at all so,” he said, reaching out to press her hand. “Anna, I know we have not the best relationship but I am concerned for you, truly. You can tell me whatever it is that troubles you so, for I do very much want to help you.”
This brought about a fresh wave of tears from his sister, who sobbed into her handkerchief while Leopold watched her, helplessly. Pressing her hand, he rose quickly and went to ring the bell, thinking that mayhap some tea might restore her spirits. Bringing back a small footstool, he sat on it and then took her hand again.
“Anna, please do tell me.”
She sniffed, her tears abating. Sidelong she glanced at him, then frowned. “You are sitting on a footstool.”
A little confused by her remark, Leopold nodded. “I am.”
“That is not proper for a gentleman to do so. It is for your feet, is it not?”
Leopold’s heart sank. “Anna, I care not for whether it is right or not. All I care about at this present moment is you and why you are so very upset.” Seeing doubt ripple into her expression in the way she frowned and bit the edge of her lip, he pressed her hand again. “I have been doing a lot of thinking this last sennight. I spoke with Lady Amelia this afternoon to apologize for my inconsideration when it came to bluestockings – which was very much because of your questioning of my thoughts – and I wanted now to apologize to you also. But that can wait given that you are so upset.”
His sister blinked quickly, pushing the remaining tears out of her eyes. “You wanted to apologize?”
He nodded, a little ashamed of just how surprised she seemed. “I have been thinking about what you said, Anna. You spoke so calmly and yet so very clearly, making it quite obvious to me that I had made more than a few mistakes in my thinking. I had no reason to push bluestockings away from you aside from the fact that society did not approve of them – but that in itself, as you said, was not a reason. I have also seen how much time you spend with Melford, how you speak with him more willingly than you would speak with me, and that, in truth, was deeply upsetting. I want to have a close relationship with you, Anna, but I think now that my fastidiousness and my sternness of manner about all these things, some of them so very small and foolish, have pushed you far from me. I do not want that. I want to be the brother you can depend on, that you can rely on and speak to about anything that concerns you. I know at this juncture, I am not but I do want to change that, Anna. I am sorry for the timesI have been too harsh with you, for the times I have demanded tiny changes and made you feel as though you were less than proper.” He dropped his gaze, seeing tears well up in her eyes again. “The more I consider it, the more I begin to realize that I have been too taken up with all that society demands of me – of us – without truly considering what my own views and opinions might be.” Squeezing her hand, he released it. “There is a good deal more for me to think on. This is only the beginning but I do recognize that I need to apologize to you for my complete lack of consideration towards you. Whenever you brought something to me, I dismissed it and I see now that it must have been very hurtful for me to do so for so long.”
Anna’s eyes were so wide with astonishment, Leopold had to hide a smile, albeit a rueful one. It was clear that she had not thought for a single moment that he would say something like this.
“That – that is all that I wanted to say,” he said, eventually. “Please, tell me what is troubling you so, Anna. If it is because of me, then be truthful so that I can consider what I have done.”
“It is not you.” Anna sniffed again but the tears did not fall, much to Leopold’s relief. “Though I am grateful to you for your consideration and your apology. That means a great deal to me, Broughton.”
A little relieved, he smiled. “Of course.”
