Page 24 of The Truth about the Marquess
‘Should I now begin to pursue them all? Or enquire quietly about their families and characters? I have made many a mistake before, and do not wish to do so again. I understand that I may sound foolish, but it comes from a deep desire not to make any sort of mistake again.’
Jane smiled to herself as she finished the letter, only for her eyebrows to lift as she took in the postscript at the bottom.
‘If you do not wish to publish a response, I quite understand. However, I would be grateful for any advice you might wish to give, and any notes can be sent to me at this enclosed address.’
She read the address quickly, recognizing that it was not his own personal address, but one which must be his solicitor’s. He still wished to keep his anonymity then, but clearly was still hopeful of some kind of response from her. Her heart softened with sympathy for him, recognizing that he truly did fear that he would make some sort of foolish mistake all over again if he did not follow advice given to him by another.
But what can I say that would be of aid to him?
A sudden thought came to her and, with a smile on her face, she hurried across the room and quickly began to pen a response.
“I must say,I thought your advice to the mother seeking what to do as regarded her eldest daughter was quite remarkable.” Lady Guilford smiled warmly as Jane ducked her head, a little embarrassed to be offered such praise. “You were respectful, considered, but yet careful to think on the young lady’s needs as well as her mother’s.”
Jane lifted her gaze, the noise of the ballroom forcing her to speak a little louder than she might otherwise have done.
“I am glad to hear you say that. I confess to have been a trifle worried that I had spoken a little too firmly, whereas what I was trying to do was to be as sympathetic as possible – both to the mother who clearly wanted her daughter to marry well, but also to the daughter who wished to make up her mind as regards the gentleman in question!” She lifted her shoulders. “I know that I should have been glad to have been offered the chance to decide on my marriage. Lord Harsham might have appeared to be an excellent match in terms of his fortune and standing, but his character lacked any sort of kindness. Had I had the chance toknow him even a little just before the betrothal was announced, I would have turned away from him directly, I am sure.”
Lady Guilford nodded, her eyes searching Jane’s face.
“It is because of such experiences that you are able to give such wise advice,” she murmured, as Jane smiled a little sadly. “I do not know if that is much of an encouragement, but it is true, all the same.”
“It is.” Jane looked away, one hand pressed lightly at her stomach as a sudden swirl of nervousness ran through her. “I also received another letter from Lord Edenbridge, though I responded privately rather than sending it to be printed.”
Lady Guilford’s eyes widened as they stood together in the corner of the ballroom, though she said nothing.
“He has three young ladies in mind, though I do not know who they are. He is now wondering what he ought to do next.”
“What he ought to do next?” Lady Guilford repeated, sounding astonished. “Surely it is just what every gentleman knows he must do – he then takes tea with them, mayhap a walk in the park, and certainly he dances with them all at balls such as this.” She waved her arm in the direction of the dancers. “Why does he need advice to do that?”
Jane shrugged but tipped her head, looking out at the dancers rather than at her friend.
“I think that he is afraid. He has made some mistakes already and is all too aware of them, though hewasable to laugh at one, which I did appreciate.” Her gaze returned to Lady Guilford’s. “I think that he is truly afraid that he will do something which will bring him embarrassment, and which thetonwill take hold of thereafter.” She sighed, her heart aching for him. “He appears to be such a wonderful gentleman, with a kind character and an eagerness to find the sweetest young lady to be his bride. It is only thetongossiping about his lack of fortune and the mistakes that he has made already that is holding him back.”
Lady Guilford leaned forward, her eyes now seeming to glow with a strange light which made Jane frown.
“Are you certain that you wish to help him?”
The frown on Jane’s face dug deeper.
“Of course I am.”
“Are you sure?” her friend persisted. “You appear to be thinking of him a great deal. It also seems to me as though you value his character, and think well of him. Does that not mean…?” She trailed off rather than finishing the question and Jane, not understanding in the least bit what her friend meant, kept her frown in place. Lady Guilford let out an exasperated sigh. “You have no husband, Jane. He is seeking a wife, a kind, considerate, and gentle lady – all of which you are, and more! Might you not think of approaching him yourself?”
It was as though the entire ballroom had come to a sudden stop. Jane, rooted to the spot, stared at her friend, her chest growing tighter and tighter as she fought to breathe.
“Jane.” Lady Guilford put a hand to Jane’s arm and suddenly, the noise of the ballroom flooded back towards her, and she took a huge breath. “I did not mean to startle you, I apologize. Might I ask if you have truly never thought about such a thing?”
Jane shook her head, her breathing coming in short, sharp gasps.
“Then I shall pretend that I said nothing of the sort,” her friend continued, with a small smile. “Goodness, you have gone quite pale! Come, let us go and find a drink for you, so that you can recover a little.”
“I am quite all right.” Jane closed her eyes but grasped her friend’s hand tightly. “It is only the thought of taking a husband again that has me so frightened.”
When she opened her eyes, Lady Guilford’s expression was one of pure sympathy and understanding, her eyes softening, her lips in a sad smile and her hand squeezing Jane’s tightly.
“I do not want to say that I understand, for I do not, but surely you can tell that there is a great difference between Lord Harsham and Lord Edenbridge?”
Closing her eyes again and feeling a little unsteady, Jane took another breath and then blew it out, swallowing hard with it.
