Page 48 of The Truth about the Rogue
“Precisely.” Andrew looked back at Lady Faustine, angry with her for what she had done in pushing Miss Hawick away, but all the more furious with himself. Had he not run fromMiss Hawick the previous day, had he had the strength of heart and mind to go to her, to confess all that he felt – albeit some confusion with it – then she might never have listened to Lady Faustine. “You tried to kiss me, Lady Faustine, and I pushed you back, I tore myself from you with a fervor that I have never before experienced. I told you, in no uncertain terms, that the thought of ever being in your company again in that way practically repulsed me – and yet, you took that as a promise from me that I would return to you, should my courtship come to an end?”
Lady Faustine blinked.
“A kiss from my lipsrepulsedyou?”
Andrew did not hold himself back; he did not choose kinder words for the lady’s sake. Instead, he spoke fervently, wanting to make it perfectly clear to her all that he was saying.
“I do not want to be a rogue any longer. All that you have said to Miss Hawick is patently false. I have been lost in confusion, I will admit, wondering why I begin to desire her company more than any other, why my heart quails at the thought of being apart from her – only for me to realize that the reason is Miss Hawick herself! She is the one who has changed my heart in a way that no one else has ever been able to.”
“Then…” Lady Faustine took a step back from him, her expression still half hidden by her mask. “Do you mean to say that you intend to be as devoted to her as she desires you to be?”
It was as though a great and heavy cloud lifted from him. The confusion, the regret, the doubt and the struggle all faded away to give him perfect clarity.
He lifted his chin and set his shoulders.
“Yes,” he said, as Lady Faustine gasped in shock. “You may think of me as a scoundrel and a rogue, but I am neither any longer. From this day forward, I declare that I shall never againreturn to such a way of life. Instead, my only thought shall be for Miss Hawick.”
Lady Faustine blinked furiously, but she turned and hurried away before anything more could be said. Andrew let out a breath, his shoulders dropping as something like relief washed through him, making him realize just how much stress he had been carrying.
“You are a little late with your declaration, my friend.”
Turning to look at Lord Glenfield, Andrew shook his head to himself.
“Yes, I can see that. How foolish I have been!” A heaviness settled on his shoulders, taking away some of the relief he had felt. “You told me the truth of my heart clearly and still, I pushed it away, and swam in the sea of confusion.”
“But you have come to see it for yourself now, have you not? That is all that matters.”
“What shall I do now?” Panic began to fill Andrew’s heart. “If she is gone, if she means all that she says, then I am to be separated from her! Our courtship will be at an end and–”
“Her father is here, is he not?”
Andrew blinked, a little confused.
“Make it clear to him your intentions. That way, even if he returns home and hears the lady state that the courtship has come to an end, he will be able to make your intentions clear to her,” Lord Glenfield suggested. “Yes, that might bring some confusion, but it will give you time to speak with her, to make your heart known to her.”
Understanding and seeing the wisdom in that suggestion, Andrew nodded slowly.
“Then you think that I should not go to speak with her tonight?”
Lord Glenfield winced.
“Do you truly believe that would be wise? Given your reputation – which I know you now shun – can you really think it a good idea to go to Lord Morton’s townhouse and speak with her, alone?”
Andrew’s shoulders dropped.
“No, I do not think it would be.”
“Then you should not.”
Closing his eyes, Andrew scrubbed one hand over his face, his mask dangling from his other hand.
“What if she will not speak with me?” he asked, the fear of that beginning to rush through his veins, quickening his heart. “What if she believes all that Lady Faustine said to her and will not even tolerate the sight of me?”
Much to his surprise, Lord Glenfield grinned, his smile big and bright. “There is one way that you might pursue.”
“Then tell me!” Andrew exclaimed at once. “What is it that you are thinking of?”
“Your poetry.”
