Page 37 of The Truth about the Earl
“I am not. Lady Essington is the sole keeper of my heart and I look back upon my fascination with Lady Maude and wish only to berate myself for my foolishness.”
“That would save me doing so, certainly,” Lord Huntsford quipped, making James chuckle. “And you say she wrote to you?”
“She did.” James shrugged one shoulder and tried to appear nonchalant. “I confess I found it a rather strange letter. It is as though she is most eager for my company having spent the first few weeks of the Season doing nothing whatsoever to encourage my attention!”
Lord Huntsford took a sip from his glass and then rested his head back against the chair. “Should you wish to hear my opinion on the lady, then I shall give it to you.”
“Please!” James spread out both hands wide, one still clutching his glass. “I have no affection for the lady any longer – if affection is what it was – and would be glad, therefore, to hear what you have to say.”
Grinning broadly, Lord Huntsford lifted his glass as though he were toasting James. “Lady Maude delights in the approvaland the appreciation of others. She loves to be considered, loves the eagerness of those around her in their desire to fawn over her. Indeed, I believe she enjoys nothing more than toying with the various gentlemen that surround her. You would not have been the first to have sought her consideration with such desperation, I am sure.”
A slight flush ran over James’ skin but he did not deny it. “That may well be so.”
“And thus, Lady Maude thought to play with you a little. Seeing your eagerness, she pushed you away and showed you very little interest, glad when that only increased your fervor all the more!”
James’ lips tightened but he nodded. Now that he had seen Lady Maude as she truly was, he saw the truth in Lord Huntsford’s words.
“However, now that your interest in Lady Essington has entirely removed Lady Maude from your thoughts, Lady Maude herself finds that situation untenable. She wants to be admired, wants to be revered by almost every gentleman in London! And the fact that you now think of another in place of her is most unsettling. Thus, she will now do all she can to set herself before you once more, encouraging your interest and practically demanding you forget about Lady Essington entirely.”
“But I shall not do so,” James replied, as Lord Huntsford smiled. “What I feel for Lady Essington is more profound than anything I have ever felt for Lady Maude. In fact, I find myself rather ashamed I was so caught up with appearance alone. Perhaps what you have said is correct. If Lady Maude seeks my interest merely so it is given to her rather than to Lady Essington, then I am afraid she shall not be successful.”
“No?”
“I intend to court Lady Essington if she will have me.” James’ heart lifted in a great swell of hope and happiness as he saw LordHuntsford’s smile. “I am seriously considering matrimony and the like. Lady Essington is all I might hope for in a bride and I shall not be drawn from her.”
“It is good she did not think poorly of you after the article in the society papers.”
“It speaks well of her character, and of the trust she has in me.”
Lord Huntsford lifted his glass again. “Then I do hope she accepts your court. Truth be told, I have very little doubt she will do, given the fervency with which she sought you out at the soiree!”
That remark warmed James’ heart all the more and he settled back into his chair with a sigh. He was looking forward to his afternoon with Lady Essington all the more.
“Thank you for joining me.”
“I am glad to.” Lady Essington smiled up at him, although there was a slight dullness to her eyes that James wondered at. “It is a fine day and I am very happy to see you again.”
“Then you find us both in the same mind, Lady Essington.” He offered her his arm and was surprised at the momentary hesitation she displayed. Her eyes caught his, her smile gone in a second. But then she gave herself a small shake, took his arm, and began to walk alongside him. Something began to pull at James’ heart, tugging it down toward the ground. Was this not to be as he had hoped? Would he find himself returning home in a state of disappointment?
“I had hoped we might continue our conversation that we began at the soiree some days ago,” he said, aware of the way hisheart began to quicken. “That is only if you would wish for that to take place, however. I quite understand if you do not wish to.”
Her eyes lifted to his as she turned her head to look at him. “I have every desire to continue our conversation, Lord Yardley. I will make myself quite plain – I find myself drawn to you.”
There was no hesitation now and James’ heart slammed hard, making him catch his breath.
“I will say, however, that there is another matter we must discuss first. A matter, I fear, that will have you turning from me.”
James frowned, his steps slowing as he turned to face her, holding her gaze steadily. Lady Essington’s face had begun to pale, her eyes had widened at the corners and she was pressing her lips together tightly. His mind began to whirl with a thousand thoughts at once, suddenly afraid of what it was she was going to say – without having any real recognition of what such a thing might be.
“I am so afraid to tell you.”
Her whispered words spoke of pain and James lowered his head quickly, his other hand brushing across her chin, encouraging her to look up.
“Lady Essington, your words strike fear into my heart but I will hear them. Please do not be afraid to tell me.”
She closed her eyes, his fingers still holding her chin gently. “I will begin by stating I have never wanted to injure you in any way. My heart has such a deep affection for you that it has been so very difficult to do as I have been instructed.”
“Instructed?” None of what she said was of any comprehension to James and he simply stared at her, waiting for her to explain.
