Page 26 of The Wallflower's Choice
“I must,” she whispered, unable to trust her voice. “I have no other choice.”
“We may yet find someone else. We may find–”
“No, we will not.” Prudence shook her head, dropping it forward. “Mama, if I want a family, even with a less than pleasing husband, then this is the only way. You know that there are no other gentlemen eager to pursue me. You can tell thatthere is no hope of me securing another match.” The memory of seeing Lord Childers pursuing the young lady, showing himself to be the rogue that he had proclaimed himself to be, struck her hard and a fresh rush of upset filled her. Upset at herself, for having allowed any sort of feeling to build for Lord Childers and frustration at her foolishness. A tear fell to her cheek but, drawing in a deep breath, Prudence set her shoulders, refusing to let another one fall. “I will accept Lord Kingshill’s courtship, knowing that the future will, I pray, bring me a home and children. That is a blessing that I will not gain any other way.” She tried not to think about how such a thing would come about and all that she would have to endure, her chin wobbling as she forced a smile. “I am determined.”
“Good evening.”
Prudence turned, starting in surprise as Lord Childers bowed to her.
“Lord Childers.” She put one hand to her heart instinctively, feeling it jumping wildly within her. “I – good evening.”
She curtsied quickly, trying not to look into his face as she rose. Not knowing what else to say, Prudence kept her gaze on his shoulder, wondering what it was that he wished to say to her.
“Lady Prudence.” Lord Childers hesitated, then cleared his throat gruffly. “Lady Prudence, I know that there was a little awkwardness before but–”
“Let us not speak of such things,” Prudence interrupted quickly, still keeping her gaze on his shoulder. “There is no need to explain yourself. I am well aware of your reputation.”
Lord Childers coughed this time, rubbing one hand over his hair.
“I – I am not certain that… well, if you do not wish to speak of it, then I shall respect that. Though I should like to beg your forgiveness for any embarrassment.”
“There was none.” Turning her head away, Prudence let herself look out at the ballroom, her hands clasping together in front of her, her fingers twisting just a little. “Pray excuse me, Lord Childers. This evening is rather significant, and I want to be prepared when Lord Kingshill comes to find me.”
She felt rather than saw him step closer, his nearness to her sending a slight tremor up her spine. Berating herself for the feelings which then rushed back towards her heart, she steeled herself inwardly, trying to bring to mind what she had seen of him in pursuit of another young lady.
“You expect Lord Kingshill to announce your courtship this evening?”
Nodding, Prudence kept silent.
“Might I ask if you are a little anxious about it?”
She glanced at him, rather surprised at the question.
“A little.”
She did not feel the need to tell him anymore, letting his gaze catch hers for just a moment before she looked away again.
“I hope that you will be happy.” Without meaning to, without having had any intention of giving any reaction, Prudence found herself snorting in a most unladylike fashion before then covering her face with her hands, her shoulders rounding as heat poured into her face. After a moment or two of silence, she dropped her hands again but said nothing, refusing to look at him. Silently, she begged him to leave, but it seemed that Lord Kingshill did not hear her quiet hopes, instead moving a little closer so that they stood arm to arm. “I am sorry if there is something which has happened to upset you.” He hesitated, then moved again so that he was looking at her a little more closely, his eyes searching her face, though Prudence could not seem tobring her gaze to his. “Lord Kingshill told me… well, that is to say that I thought he might be eager to reform himself after a particular conversation we had. Have you received something different from him?”
“I do not think that Lord Kingshill cares about what I think,” Prudence found herself saying, uncertain as to why she was telling him this, but continuing regardless. “He has already decided what sort of marriage we shall have, and it is one where we are entirely separate.” She shuddered, her eyes closing for a moment. “For the most part, at least.” Lord Childers blew out a breath that brushed warmth across Prudence’s cheek and when she opened her eyes to look at him, she saw nothing but a dark scowl across his face, as though he was truly frustrated by what she had told him. “This does not concern you, however,” she continued, a little dully. “There is no need for you to consider anything I have said. You have made the arrangement for your friend and–”
“I do not want you to be unhappy.”
Prudence gazed back at him, no longer struggling to look into his face.
“I do not believe that you have any requirement to be concerned for me, Lord Childers. Do you not have enough here in society to satisfy you? Do you not have enough to keep your mind… and your heart… occupied?”
He flushed then, clearly well aware of what it was that she spoke of.
“That does not mean that I cannot be concerned for you also, Lady Prudence. In fact, I swear to you now that I shall dedicate myself to making certain that all shall go well for you and that your happiness is made complete.”
Prudence, a little surprised, kept her gaze steady as she looked at him.
“I do not know what you mean by that.”
“I mean it as simply as it sounds,” he replied, taking another step closer to her. “This was my suggestion, this was my doing as regards Lord Kingshill, and the arrangement between you. If my friend has now decided that he will not act in the manner that he ought to, then I will make it my sole purpose to ensure that things change in that regard. I will not look to my own entertainments, I will not focus on my own thoughts and determinations. Instead, I will be at Lord Kingshill’s side, guiding and berating him if I must!”
A slight flicker of hope grew in Prudence’s heart.
