Page 35 of The Wallflower's Choice
It was a beautiful day,she considered, ambling along the path with her head tilted a little bit upwards so that she might be able to see the sky. The sun had already risen, and though the air was a little chilled, it was not cold enough for her to shiver. She let herself smile softly, though that smile did not last long. Herthoughts returned to Lord Childers and all that Miss Rockwell had suggested and, as she thought of him, her heart leaped with a sudden fierceness that caught her breath and stole it away for a moment.
To be thinking of him in such a way was, to her mind, still nothing but foolishness and yet, all the same, the thoughts and the emotions within her lingered. That was what she wanted, if she was honest with herself. Shewantedto be close to him, wanted to pull herself towards him, rather than toward Lord Kingshill. The idea of betrothing herself to Lord Kingshill when her heart was betraying her seemed wrong, somehow, as though she would be disloyal to herself by doing such a thing.
So will I speak to him, then?Her eyes closed for a moment as she gave a quick, sharp shake of her head, opening them again only to see a gentleman only a step away, his own head lowered. With an exclamation of surprise, she jerked out of his path, her heart pounding suddenly.
“Forgive me!” the gentleman exclaimed, turning to look at her.
His eyes widened, just as her own breath caught again, one hand flying to her heart as she looked into Lord Childers’ face. What was he doing out walking in the park at such an early hour? Did not gentlemen such as he remain abed until at least noon, recovering from whatever it was that they had engaged in the night before?
Lord Childers blinked in obvious surprise.
“Lady Prudence! Whatever are you doing here?”
“I was simply walking,” she answered, a sudden fear clutching at her heart. After all, she was out here alone and a young lady such as herself ought to have a chaperone. She knew Lord Childers’ reputation, of course, and still did not fear that he would do anything improper, but all the same, she feared that he might tell someone else that he had seen her here alone,in the early hours of the morning, and her reputation would be severely damaged thereafter. “Pray, do not tell anyone that you have seen me, for I ought to have a chaperone but… ” She closed her eyes for a moment. “I needed a few minutes alone.”
“I understand, and I would never say a word, I assure you.” Prudence looked back at him, a little surprised, though she said nothing. “We find ourselves in the very same situation, I think.”
Immediately, questions began to rise in her mind, though Prudence only tipped her head just a little, wondering if he would respond badly to her questioning him on what such a thing might be.
“Oh?”
After a moment, Lord Childers nodded, his mouth tugging lightly to one side for just a moment.
“I am walking in the hope of clearing the many thoughts which are presently running through my mind.” His eyes searched hers. “Might I surmise that this is your trouble also?”
Dare I speak of what it is that I have been thinking of?Lacking the courage for more, Prudence managed a brief smile, but only one word.
“Yes.”
“I see.”
She looked at him, seeing the way that his eyebrows furrowed, sending lines across his forehead. Dare she ask him about what was on his mind? Mayhap if he was willing to share such things with her, she might then find the courage to respond with the same honesty. Taking a deep breath, she spread out her hands.
“Might I ask what it is that you are thinking about? What it is that torments you so?”
Instantly, Lord Childers turned his head away, his jaw tight as he gazed across the park. Prudence wanted to apologize, to tell him that she ought not to have been questioning him so, andthat he did not really need to answer, only for him to sigh and then begin to speak.
“Ah, Lady Prudence,” he responded quietly, a softness in his voice which spoke of pain. “My thoughts, my tormenting, difficult, struggling thoughts, are centered on one thing and one thing alone.” Wondering at this, Prudence held his gaze as he looked back at her, her own heart beating a little more quickly such was the anticipation within her heart. What would send a rogue out to the park in the early hours of the morning? Why would he be out here walking alone? Lord Childers licked his lips and then put out one hand in her direction. “My dear Lady Prudence, they are focused entirely upon you.”
The words ran into her mind and then went straight to her heart, her own emotions flaring hot. She swallowed tightly, wondering at them, only to then douse her fiery hopes. This was, no doubt, just another part of his determination to make certain that her betrothal to Lord Kingshill went as well as it could. He had arranged the match and now felt responsible. That was all.
“You are very kind,” she said, not quite certain what else to say. “I am sure that all will go well once Lord Kingshill makes the announcement about our courtship.”
“Which has not yet happened.”
Prudence’s breath clattered in her chest as Lord Childers took a step closer to her, his eyes suddenly vivid, deep, and intense all at the same time as he gazed down into her face.
“Our courtship?” she managed to say, her voice squeaking out of her. “No, not as yet.”
“And thus, there can be no betrothal, not yet anyway.” She shook her head, looking back into his eyes but saying nothing. The gentle breeze drifted around her, reminding her gently of where she was, and that she had no chaperone, but Prudence ignored the reminder easily enough. Her stomach twisted this way and that as silence grew between them though LordChilders did not once even glance away from her. It was as though he were determined to either unnerve her or have her open her mouth to confess the truth to him about her own heart. She blinked, swallowed, and then let out a slow breath and, at this, Lord Childers immediately dropped his head and ran one hand over his eyes. “Forgive me. I am being too forward and I–”
“Why are your thoughts about me?”
The moment that she said those words, Prudence’s face burned with embarrassment, and she quickly looked away, stammering an apology – only for Lord Childers to take her hand. The action was startling enough to have her look back at him directly, seeing the tiniest smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“I will tell you if you wish it.”
She took another breath, trying to settle the way that her whole body now seemed to be jumping and shaking and shivering all at once.
