Page 23 of The Wallflower's Choice
“Iswear, Childers, if you do not remove this heaviness from yourself, then I simply will not attend with you this evening. You can take your own carriage.”
James scowled and then picked up his glass of brandy.
“I am quite contented. I do not know what it is that you are speaking of.”
“I am sure that you do.” Lord Kingshill threw back his brandy and then set the glass down on the table by his side. “Ever since I arrived, you have been in some dark mood and, quite frankly, I have no interest in being in your company if you are going to continue in this way.”
Refilling his brandy glass, James lifted it in a half toast.
“I can assure you, my friend, that this brandy will help my mood a great deal.”
He took a sip and watched as his friend frowned at him, but much to James’ surprise, he found that he did not care. Ever since Lord Kingshill had stepped into the room, James had found his mind filled with a heaviness that he could not explain. It had only worsened as Lord Kingshill had spoken of what he had shared with Lady Prudence, to the point that James nowfound himself not in the least bit inclined towards his friend’s company. Not that he could tell him such a thing, however, for to speak of his present feelings when he was so utterly confused would not be wise.
“So, are you going to tell me of your reasons for your present disinclination or are you going to leave me to guess?”
James rolled his eyes.
“As I have said, I am quite well.”
“But you are not acting as though you are,” his friend said, a little more quietly. “If something is troubling you, then why do you not speak to me of it? We are friends, are we not?”
Looking sidelong at his friend, James sat down and then shrugged.
“I do not…” Trailing off, he shook his head to himself and then sighed. Was it worth telling Lord Kingshill the truth, albeit without mentioning Lady Prudence’s name? Perhaps Lord Kingshill would be able to offer some advice. After all, the only thing James wanted was to remove Lady Prudence from his thoughts. “I will confess that there is a desire growing within my heart for one particular lady. And I do not like it.”
Lord Kingshill’s eyebrows rose high.
“Goodness.”
“It is very strange and a good deal irritating,” James continued, his face flushing hot as he tried to find a way to explain himself without giving too much detail away. “This young lady has caught my attention, though there is nothing remarkable about her. I do notwantto be thinking about her and I certainly have no intention of pursuing her! That is not the sort of gentleman I am and not the sort of gentleman I want to be either!”
Much to his surprise, Lord Kingshill chuckled, making him scowl all the more.
“Goodness, I did not think that I would ever hear such words from your lips! How can it be that you have an affection for a young lady?! Do you know what it is you are giving up?”
“I am not giving up anything, aside from these feelings!” James exclaimed, anger beginning to burn hot within him. “I have noaffection,as you call it. There is nothing within me like that, I can assure you!”
His friend shrugged.
“Whatever you wish to call it, it is clear that you have some feelings for this young lady, whoever she is.” He smiled broadly, his eyes twinkling with evident mirth, which only made James’ anger bubble with fury. “Might I ask who this lady is?”
James folded his arms over his chest.
“I was looking for your advice as to how I might rid myself of this but instead, all you do is seek to mock me.”
“I do not mock you, I assure you!” Lord Kingshill continued to grin, though he settled back in his chair now, rather than showing any eagerness to depart. “You wish for my advice then? You want to know how to rid yourself of such feelings?”
“I do.” James let his hands drop back to his lap. “As I have said, I have no desire for these emotions. I told you of them because you are my friend, not because I wish to be teased about them.”
“Very well.” Lord Kingshill rubbed his hands together, his smile finally beginning to fade. “Might I suggest that you go and garner the attention of someone else entirely?”
James blinked, his eyebrows lifting.
“You mean I should go and spend some time with another young lady this evening?”
His friend shrugged.
“Why not? I am sure that, should you do so, then you will soon begin to forget about all that you feel.” He tilted his head and then began to smile. “It may be more that your attentionmust be focused onmorethan one young lady, but I am certain that you shall soon find yourself back to as you always have been.”
