Page 28 of A Dreadful Secret
She thought for a short while. There was a slight paleness to her cheeks, and she caught her lip between her bottom teeth, thinking. James twisted his mouth, disliking the distress that such consideration was building within her, but it was important for them both that she recalled everything she could.
“When I first came upon him and my sister, I confess that my vision was a little blurred, such was the anger I felt,” Miss Shaw confessed, dropping her head a little so that her bonnet hid her expression from him. “I am not inclined towards fits of rage, but I wanted desperately to injure him in some way for what he had so carelessly done as regarded my sister.”
“You need not fear that I will think less of you for that,” James replied softly, and her bonnet lifted just a little. “Had I been present, I believe I would have planted him a facer at the very least!”
This brought a quiet giggle from Miss Shaw and James smiled back at her, glad when her eyes met his again. There was already a bond between them, a bond that he could not quite explain, but yet he was deeply grateful for. It was as though, through enduring that dark and dreadful experience, they had found something to build upon. And it was now growing with such ferocity that James was certain it could not be contained. How grateful he was for it! It was unlike anything he had ever experienced before, for whilst he had made the acquaintance of various gentlemen and ladies, there was nothing else ofthisparticular closeness.
“He was a gentleman eager to hide his face from me, although I do recall he was a tall figure, broad. He used it to his advantage, to further intimidate me,” Miss Shaw continued, after a few moments. “When my anger cleared and I realized what he was demanding of me, I could not even lift my eyes to his, such was my horror. Thereafter, he communicated with me only by a note here or there and when I came to that bawdy house in the East End, everything was rather dark. I did not even know that you had been brought into the place until I was summoned. I already knew what part I had to play, by then, for it had all been very clearly set out for me.”
James grimaced.
“You mentioned he sent one or two notes prior to that night,” he said, as she nodded. “Those notes had no distinguishing marks, I assume?”
Miss Shaw shook her head.
“I also burned them. I did not want Mary to catch sight of anything which had been sent to me. She would have demanded to know everything otherwise. I was trying to keep her from any distress.” James opened his mouth to ask something more, only for Miss Shaw to stop suddenly, pulling his arm for a moment. “Wait, I do recall one moment when he leaned close to me.” Waiting silently, James looked down into her face, but she was not looking at him. Instead, her eyes were wide, fixed straight ahead, as though this was not something she had ever recalled before. “He asked me something, but I did not answer. The next moment, I felt his breath run over my skin, and thereafter, something brushed against my cheek. It was an act of intimidation, to make certain that I was terrified enough to do as he demanded.” James let out a slow breath, his heart beating a little faster. “It was not a finger which touched my face - this man must have had a beard… and with it came a strong scent of pine. I could not help but notice it, given how close he was. I am only frustrated that I did not recall that until this moment.”
“You are a marvel, Miss Shaw.” The immediate flush in her cheeks made him smile. “To recall such details after you have endured so much distress is incredible indeed. I find myself quite in awe of you.”
“But it will not mean a great deal,” she replied, clearly a trifle worried that what she had said would not be of any use to him. “There must be many gentlemen in London who would fit that particular description.”
“But it is better than having no knowledge of the person whatsoever. Now at least we can eliminate all of the clean-shaven gentleman.”
Grinning at her, his heart jumped when light appeared in her eyes.
“Might you wait a moment? I merely wish to ask my sister if what I recall is true.” A flush of red danced in her cheeks as she pressed her lips together. “I will not be a moment.”
James glanced towards where the younger Miss Shaw was walking with Lord Stoneleigh and Lady Sara.
“Certainly.”
She stepped away from him and the loss of her presence by his side felt as though a heavy weight was pulling him down. It was extraordinary just how much he had come to value her, in only these last few days. He turned his eyes away when she pulled her sister to one side, not wanting the younger Miss Shaw to suffer any further embarrassment. This conversation would be difficult enough.
After only a few moments, Miss Shaw came to join him again. She took his arm without him even offering it, eliciting yet another smile from James.
“My sister informs me that my memory is quite correct. She recalls that the mask he wore covered a great deal of his face, but when they were alone….” Trailing off, she twisted her lips and James reached across with his free hand to press her fingers in silent understanding.
“You have given me a great deal of hope. I am certain that we can do something to discover this fellow, particularly since another masquerade ball is soon to take place.”
“You still believe that he will attempt to do the same thing, again.”
James nodded slowly, an idea quickly coming to him.
“And it may be that I can use my current standing in society to gain a slight advantage,” he murmured as she turned her head to him again. “That is not to boast, but rather to say that I am very well aware that many young ladies – and their mothers – are eager for my company, and will listen to whatever I have to say. If I speak a word into one or two ears, then that may give us a little further chance of success.” He turned his eyes to hers again, recognizing that the desire to pull her close was growing ever more urgently - and he found himself suddenly longing to confess all that was on his heart, as extraordinary as it might be. “I must also hope that whether we find this gentleman or not, our acquaintance may continue. I cannot truly express all that I feel in my heart at present, for it has been thrown from one emotion to the next in such quick succession that I am not certain it has settled!”
A soft laugh came from her.
“Yes, Lord Pottinger. I find myself in much the same state.”
“But what Ishouldlike to make clear is that my heart has been caught by you since our very first meeting. At the ball, I was glad to dance with you, becoming quite certain that we had already met.”
Miss Shaw frowned.
“But that is only because wehadalready met, Lord Pottinger,” she answered, her lips pulled downwards. “That does not mean that there is any truth or depth of feeling in that regard.”
Heedless of those walking behind him, James stopped and turned, catching both of her hands in his.
“I have not made myself clear, it seems, and that is my fault entirely, for I am certain that I said that to you at one point. However, upon further reflection, I am sure that my heart was eager to acquaint itself with you properly, not because of what we had shared previously, but because it was drawn to your beauty, simply from my first glance. When I realized our previous meeting, it was that injury which had me speaking harshly to you. It was not merited, Miss Shaw, and since then I have found myself pulled towards you all the more, as if what we have already shared has tied a strong rope between us, binding us together. I do not know if you feel anything akin to what I have expressed, but all I wish to say is that I would be very eager to further our connection, once this matter is resolved.”
