Page 76 of Antiletum
My vision focuses, pinpointing all my frustrations into this one pinnacle—waiting for me to snap. Song birds whistle a cheery tune in time with my rapid heartbeat, thumping with a malicious energy that needs to be expended.
Strength flows through my muscles. All of my anguish becomes one with the wooden mallet in my hand. On a deep breath, I swing.Hard.The mallet smashing against my target sends a thrill of exhilaration through me. Victorious. Sweet. Shockwave vibrations roll up my arm, accompanied by the most satisfyingcrack!that pulls my lips into a saccharine smile.
Deos, but I am good.
My blue ball sails gracefully across vibrant grass and through the intended wicket, shooting beyond the little white arch anchored into the ground. It just so happens to knock an opponent’s ball out of the way on its trajectory, rolling near the lake centered in the park and settling beneath an ironwork bench.
Whoops.
“Nice shot, my Lady!” Selise calls, enthusiastic with applause.
A mock scolding glare firmly in place, I turn to my friend, cheering near hydrangea bushes of violet and blue. “I told you if you keep using such formalities, I will fill your bed with scorpions,” I chide. “Formerly dead ones. In case you were unaware, they can be particularly restless and aggressive.”
Another reason why Val’s suggestion of bringing Rainah back is asinine.
It’s still unnatural to speak of my necromancy so openly. I feel exposed, even uttering such a simple statement. Waiting to be scolded.
“You wouldn’t dare!” Selise challenges.
I endlessly appreciate hernotpointing out that I would need the aid of my dear husband in order to do so.
Not that it matters. Everyone in The Citadel already believes that I practice necromancy with my husband regularly already. Especially after the debacle in the cemetery last night. I find myself in disbelief that rumor didn’t spread about me throwing my parasol at Val during our first fight.
I’m learning that the servants can be prone to gossip.
Word quickly spread about the Lord and Lady becoming so overcome with passion while visiting with our lost loved ones, we raised half the corpses within the graveyard. Far more accurate than I care to admit. Though it does add legitimacy to the outward picture of a happy marriage that we wish to paint.
Erasing the picture of Val naked in the cemetery has been impossible. His bare back, covered in all that ink, the tattooed owl as fierce and beautiful as him. The feel of his feathers beneath my skin. His soft face against mine. The happy noises he makes when I pet and preen him. How he bobs a happy dance in my presence.
The fact that Valisthat dark owl I adored so much.
And how good he feels with his mouth, his body, against mine. I get hot every time I remember that kiss and all the things that nearly came along with it. Even more so than recalling our wedding. Our moment in the cemetery was intimate, steeped in absolute wanting. No duty or necessity tied to our affections. Just the simple act of husband and wife lost to attraction and desire and our natural chemistry that I cannot escape.
The balmy afternoon in the sprawling green park at the heart of Omnitas is welcomingly breathable, away from the storm cloud presence of Val. Lovely with its shimmering blue lake and stone gazebos—almost like little miniature renderings of the domed clusters of buildings that make up The Citadel. The more I’ve tried to harbor my hatred and dote on it like I once did Val’s owl form, the more he dominates my thoughts. Keeping me on edge at all times. For various reasons.
I’m so tired.
“Scorpions in my bed wouldn’t be all bad,” Selise says, pulling me from my reverie. “Mallin’s reaction may just be worth it. Perhaps it will be what tips me into fully forgiving him.” A deep line pulls between her perfect dark brows. She loops her arm through mine, guiding me towards our tent of refreshments, silk walls billowing in the breeze.
An unwarranted shot of guilt eats through me.
Most of my emotions are nothing short of irrational these days. Unstable. Must be an effect of being around my unstable husband.
“You know I won’t resent or fault you when you do,” I say gently. “It sounds like he’s trying.”
Selise appears as tired as I feel up close, having stayed up with Mallin late into the night recently while he delivered honesty he has long tried to shield her from.
“I know.” Selise offers me a relieved smile. We watch another young woman in our party take a turn, swinging her mallet. The croquet ball misses the wicket by a laughable amount of inches. “And this is why I love you. Marriage is complicated.”
Complicated is a gentle word for the tumultuous relationship with my own husband. I’m under the impression that mine and Val’s dynamic is not typical for marriage, arranged or not. Heated. Volatile.
My parents’ marriage was cold and distant. No passion at all, leaning either direction.
Thoughts of my parents are also impossible to shake. Unable to sleep after my second fight with Val in the graveyard and finding his painting, I traipsed in the dark over to the house my parents bought, still deluding myself into thinking I could stay there.
Sorrow grabbed me in a slow creep as I walked the halls, explored the rooms that I never would have lived in. Like sentient ivy, wrapping me in a chokehold while it laughed at my anguish.
Val was right—yet again. In truth, I never really wanted to grace the walls of that wretched place. The shopping trip through Omnitas was more-so to slide a veritable knife between Val’s ribs. Twist it around until I could watch him bleed.
