Page 54 of Antiletum
Delaney hasn’t seen insanity—not like I was that night.
Without thinking, I offer, “I would die before I waseverbound to anyone other than you.”
Delaney pauses, processing what I’ve said. For the briefest moment—I can see it in her eyes: She doesn’t care for it one tiny little bit that I would have married her sister.
Yes.This is good. Relief floods my body. Warm and life inducing. She’s starting to understand. I take a step towards her, ready to scoop her in my arms again. To tell her the last piece that will help her to forgive me.
But Delaney recovers herself, letting her fury wash over her anew as she backs away from my affection. “Then you should have killed yourself, rather than Rainah!”
Now it’s my turn to retreat.
Well, my wife might as well have just plunged a literal knife into my chest and twisted it around. A hot one. Fresh from the forge. I don’t like the purely physical ache that overtakes my entire body, liquefying me to useless pulp. One that can’t be pinpointed and carved out.
My oak tree falls into a pitiful droop, hanging itself on its razored cage, meticulously built by my wife.
Irrational anger floods in my heartbreak’s wake.
“I don’t care if I have to murder every single person in this entire fucking world if, in the end, it means you and me.” Menace distorts my features as I invade my wife’s space, failing to mask my hurt. “You want me dead, Delaney? You’ll have to do it yourself.”
Her breath hitches, pupils blooming wide.
Maybe I shouldn’t have laid that challenge at her feet. Could be fun. Or it could wreck my heart further—my wife making an honest effort to rid herself of me.
With a sigh, I retreat. “I didn’twantto do it. Rainah’s betrothed was to be assassinated, and Rainah given a mourning period before being paired again, all while we wed. Other plans were discussed behind my back. It was the only way.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“No, I don’t suppose that you would.”
She hasn’t even given me a chance at all since our wedding, not really. Only two meager, inconsecutive nights of teasing before shutting me out. The more I think about the lovely time we had during and after our party now, the more frustrated I get. Everything I thought Delaney was finally starting to recognize and accept.
It was all just a lie.
Delaney sniffles, another round of tears that makes me want to flog my own back falls down her face. “Did everyone know? Everyone I’ve met recently?” A heartbreaking glimmer of doubt twinkles in her eyes, rethinking every friendship she’s let herself begin to form.
I shake my head. “Selise doesn’t know. Mallin, Blair, Alaric. They do. No one else.”
I leave it vaguely at that. Blair and Mallin are still pissed. I didn’t even plan to alert Blair. But thanks to her invasive little smoke critters reading everyone’s energies against their will… It’s not like I could hide it from her, could I? Not after she visited the scene of the crime. Alaric is unphased, thanks to his utter faith in my plan.
At least someone believes in me.
In hindsight, I probably should have kept this bit of information from Mallin and Alaric as well. Truthfully, I barely even remember finding them and telling them in a horrifically manic episode whatI had done, before even staging Rainah’s body for the story we’d concoct. Good thing no one happened upon her corpse while I was failing miserably to come to my senses.
With wide, hopeful eyes, I place my palms on my wife’s shoulders. Delaney flinches, and if anything in this encounter makes me want to throw myself out of a window, it’s that.
“You don’t have to be sad or angry with me,ocellus.” Squeezing, I look deep into those enchanting hazel eyes, wanting nothing more than to kiss her and beg her to stay. To let me take care of her.
Instead, I vehemently promise my wife, “We’re going to bring Rainah back.”
14
Smile, Valledyn, the people are watching
Delaney
Towering gates leading into the cemetery are open, inviting me in like a reaper, waiting for my arrival. Fitting, as a death of sorts has happened to me tonight, and not even my magic can rectify the loss.
We’re going to bring Rainah back.
