Page 74 of To Scale the Emerald Mountain
Despite my lack of currently knowing who he is, I can’t deny the immediate sense of relief, safety, and completion I experienced just being in his presence. The light in my heart flares and waves at the thought of Alec, that pull in my gut insistently telling me to find him; to be near him. My eyes burn and I shake away the thoughts, shoving those instincts into a box in a quiet corner of my mind.
I’m about to lay back down and pretend to be asleep again when the bathing chamber door opens, but it’s Nana that comes out.
“You’re awake.” She walks over to the bed and sits next to me. She moves slowly as she grabs my hand and squeezes. “Alec will be back soon. We didn’t think you’d wake.” I shake my head from side to side. “You don’t want him to come back?” Nana asks, surprised.
“No, not yet.”
“Of course, Elly. Do you want me to go?”
After a moment of consideration, I reluctantly shake my head. Nana nods and strokes my hair. “I cannot imagine what you’ve been through.” Tears are welling in her eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her weep before tonight.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say quietly and turn away.
“Of course. I won’t push. But are you alright? Did he hurt you?”
She brushes my hair from my face again. I wrap my arms around my knees, trying to hold myself in, and look out the window towards the starry night sky beyond.
“No.” It’s not entirely a lie. Locane never did hurt me in a physical sense—and I believe that’s what she means.
“Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I can get you whatever you like, my darling girl.”
“Don’t call me that.” My words come out harsh, and my gaze turns steely. Her fingers stop stroking before she drops her hand. I’ve taken her off guard.
“You’re angry with me,” Nana says.
“You’ve kept things from me. Important things.”
“We did what we thought was right, but we were wrong.” The softness Nana speaks with grates my nerves.
“We? Who else? Alec? Anyone else part of the proverbialthey?“ My voice is beginning to rise as I repeat what Locane said to me when I asked who held me back. Nana is confused by my statement but doesn’t question.
“Have your memories come back?” she deflects.
My gaze snaps to Nana, and she looks at me apologetically.
“Why are you even here? You were going to go back to Bokhaii as soon as I came of age, anyway. I came of age years ago.”
“Elly, the duration of my stay in Brhadir had nothing to do with your age, but when you were ready. We all thought…” Nana trails off, choosing not to finish her sentence.
“You and Alec thought what?” I’m holding tight to the anger I felt when I last saw him at Rhydelle Castle. It’s better than the alternatives.
“We thought when you reached full maturity and you came to The Capital I would go after that.” Nana finishes—obviously not saying all that she means.
“I’m here. I’m matured. You can go now.” My hand gestures lazily towards the door.
Nana’s features are soft when she says, “I don’t know what you went through,but I know that you’re hurting—“
“Don’t!” I cut her off harshly. “If you can’t even fully say what you mean to me, I don’t want to speak to you. I’m finished with listening to omitted half-truths and downright lies!”
Nana crosses her arms. “You’re right. I wasn’t going to leave until you made it to The Capital, you completed your mating, and had been married and officially crowned queen. I was going to see that you were settled into your new life before I left.”
“So, you were waiting until you could officially sell me off like fucking chattel before going to start your own life. Got it. Thanks so much, Nana.”
She searches my face and chews her lip. “I know that you’re hurting and angry, but it wasn’t like that, and you know it.”
“You didn’t tell me that I’m vital in the search for gems that contain god power,” I accuse.
Nana rubs her hand down her face once and sniffs. “We don’t know that you are vital in the search.”
