I’m desperate for these minutes to pass, until that small bit of iron leaves his body, and I can rouse him without him being suspicious. I will make him react to me, even if he again has to resort to using his magic to move my body the way he needs.
I come out of the vision first, gasping and horrified by what I’ve just Seen.
Alec’s eyes dart back and forth beneath his lids while he’s still lost in the magic, fighting his way back to this time and place. Sitting up, I pull him with me as best I can, his heavy weight makingthe task difficult. I cradle his head against my chest, shushing into his hair as he has for me so many times.
Alec begins to stir, blood pouring from his nose, his drawn breaths are shuddering, becoming more jagged, as he comes to.
“I’m here,” I tell Alec softly, beginning to guide him into position to put his head between his knees. At least he’s not falling into fits of seizures like I used to.
He gulps in deep breaths as I gently stroke his back and give him calming words, reminding him of my presence. He’s soaked in a sheen of sickly sweat across his rich skin, but his breath is catching, and slowly his head lifts.
He turns to me, and what I see sends a stabbing jolt straight through my heart.
Alec looks terrified. Utterly afraid and vulnerable.
“Ellya,” he whispers, his voice strangled.
“Are you alright?” I ask him, the question holding so many meanings.
“I am so sorry that you had to see that,” Alec tells me, wiping the blood from his face with our sheet before throwing it in a heap on the floor.
“You’re sorry?” I whisper in disbelief.
“I know you have always been sensitive with anything pertaining to Rahleigh. And that was particularly…” Alec trails off and shakes his head, a lock of dark hair breaking loose, before finishing, “Gruesome.”
Shock settles into me at the realization that—at this moment—he’s concerned about me. “Were you aware that had happened?”
He shakes his head slowly.
I think I’m going to be sick. Hot, burning bile creeps up my throat as blood rushes in my ears, black dots staining my vision.
“Youwere violated.“ The truth shatters through me with my spoken words, and I see red. As red as the blood that vile woman stole from my unaware mate.
Alec drops his head and shakes it slightly before saying, “No, that was different.”
I pick his chin up with my fingers and turn his sad eyes to me. “That was not different,” I tell him defiantly. “If anything, it was worse.” My heart pounds as something dark begins clawing at my chest. “She drugged you. She purposely got you drunk and high, and then she stole your blood and mimicked claiming you. She touched you when you were unconscious!”
My eyes are wild and wide. Jealousy always reared its ugly head with any mention of Rahleigh, but this isn’t jealousy burning me alive right now.
“Did you partake with opium often?” I ask. I almost wish I hadn’t when his face crumples further, and he rubs a hand over it.
“Yes,” he admits, not meeting my eye.
My heart plummets.
“Do you still?”
Alec’s head snaps up. “No,” he says firmly, and the truth of the word barrels down our bond. “I do remember some of that evening. That was the last time.”
“Alec,” I begin. “I know you drink too much, but I never would have suspected that.”
“You think I drink too much?” Alec asks, brows drawn—taken aback.
I look at him pointedly. “Everyonethinks you drink too much.”
“Do you think less of me?” Alec’s nervous unease passes down our bond. His lack of concern over learning about the violation his body suffered while he slept, too focused on his concern that I might judge his past, causes my heart to break further.
“Of course, I don’t think less of you.”