Ellya nestles into my shoulder while I recount how vividly I remember the day that Locane began to shift, shortly before I left for the Mother Continent to find a path for myself. I relive the raging argument we had because I was angry with him for falling under our father’s spell; and he was angry with me for not aiding them.
One of her hands rests above my heart as I share my regret for my cruelty in calling Locane weak and spineless. For telling him that he was lacking in everything that made for a good man—a good king. I tell her about the guilt that has eaten me every day since uttering those words and leaving, even when I knew that he was struggling, even when I knew that he needed me.
My hand has found its way into hers when I tell Ellya about when Father died and Locane fled. How he left nothing but that frantic note telling me that I was right, Father was right: he was no king. My guilt only grew after I read those words. Guilt not for what I had said to him, but because I knew that I would be a better king than he, and everyone else agreed.
After that admission, I cannot find it within myself to continue and Ellya does not pry. She only gazes at me while she strokes my hair. Having admitted these things to her, I am unburdened, having never shared them with anyone, not even Kraeston. I have fiercely tried to defend Locane for all these years, despite his flaws.
He will get my defense no more.
The sun has nearly risen by the time we fall quiet and drift off to sleep, both lighter than we had been before our long discussion. Wewake late in the morning, sleep heavy and grumbling. Ellya only puts up a mild fight about going to her appointment.
“What am I supposed to say to this person without telling her what your brother did?”
“She can be trusted. She is aware of the family history. Cescily and I have both spoken candidly with her many times,” I tell her as we eat a late breakfast.
“You know, I don’t need an escort. I can find my way there.”
My brow arches at her skeptically. “I have no doubt in your abilities to navigate the city. I am going with you to hold you accountable to your promise, as well as support you at such a raw time. It will be good for you.”
Ellya sighs heavily and absentmindedly pushes around her food with her fork, not eating. “Do not fret, my clove. We will do something fun after,” I tell her with a knowing smile.
She perks up instantly. “What are we going to do?”
“There is an abandoned village of ruins not far from here. We shall go there for you to more safely discover how deep your new power runs.”
She goes quiet and begins to chew on her lip.
“What is it?”
“Is Nana around?” she asks me softly.
“I do not know, I have been with you. I can reach out to her, if you would like,” I offer. Ellya watches me hesitantly, words obviously stuck behind her teeth. “Do not be afraid to speak to me, Elly. What is on your mind?”
“Would you be terribly offended if Nana went with me today instead?”
Offering her a smile, I reach out for her hand. “I would not be offended at all. In fact, it would bring me great joy to know thatyou are comfortable with Mhaylene again. You two are so close, and she has missed you terribly.”
A small tear slides down her cheek, and I wipe it away as I reach out to Mhaylene to communicate Ellya’s wishes. She arrives minutes later, and I watch them leave, arms linked, both looking as serene as I feel.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
ELLYA
We have some time before my appointment, so Nana and I opt to jump near the Healer’s District before walking the remainder of the way.
“How are you, Elly?” she asks me.
My chest squeezes at her concern. “I’ve been awful to you, Nana. I’m sorry.”
She pats my hand gently. “Don’t apologize, my darling girl. No harm done.”
We walk in silence, taking in the shops and apothecaries with dried flowers and herbs hanging in windows. The air around us is pungent as vendors sell tinctures and all manner of ointments and salves. Not everyone can heal themselves like my family and I, our lines maintaining great power through the generations. The same reason why we are capable of the jump and reading auras of other’s with strong magical signatures, rare gifts.
“I’m glad you wanted me to come with you today,” Nana tells me. “I know you have been angry with me—and for good reason. I made many mistakes. We knew what was likely to come, and we should have made you aware. We should have told you after your vision with the emerald and Alec retrieved it. There is no excuse at all why we didn’t tell you when Locane expressed interest in you.”
“I know. I understand why you and Alec made the choices you did. It doesn’t make it right, but I do understand,” I tell her.
“You still haven’t been able to use your Sight?”