Page 92 of A Storm in Every Heart
My hand still throbs as I follow Odessa back through the dark swamp. My breathing is ragged, but I’m actually grateful for the pain because it’s the only thing distracting me from my agonizingly hard cock.
Good fucking gods.
Realizing how strong Dessa is in the water was possibly the hottest damn thing I’d ever seen, even if she did nearly break my hand.
I’ve only ever been with Fae women, and I didn’t realize until that moment that I’d been holding back. Now, I’m picturing all the ways I could have her without having to worry about being careful. Bathtubs, the lake behind the manor, the middle of the godsdamn ocean.
Maybe I should be glad she stopped us before I let her drown me, but I’m not glad—not at all.
I’m not sorry that I told her about my soul-bond either, even if it was painful. I wish I could have seen her face better to know what she really thought about it.
The bond in my chest throbs, reminding me it’s there. It feels like the bond itself knows I’m teetering on the edge of rejecting it altogether and is holding on stronger, trying to maintain a connection to a woman I can’t even remember.
I flex my throbbing fingers, trying to ignore the equal throbbing in my chest.
For years, I thought I might go search for my bond at some point. It was a vague idea, dependent on my escaping Dyaspora, which wasn’t something I really believed would ever happen. I tried not to think about the bond, and it mostly stayed quiet…that is, until I escaped and it suddenly became more active—stronger—than it ever was before.
Absently, I reach up and rub my chest where my tattoo is.
Eventually—hopefully—Odessa will see it and that will take a fair bit of explaining. I can’t even imagine what she’ll say—but like the reality of the bond it doesn’t matter because I’ve already made up my mind.
Odessa is going to be mine. She’s already mine, and no fated bond or siren curse is going to stop me from claiming her.
It’s a feeling that has been coming on slowly for a while, and only became more intense the other night in the dining room, and even more so when I saw her on the boat. I saw her face, and her expression wasn’t hatred or dismissal or any of the other haughty masks she wears when she’s trying to act like I don’t matter to her. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. She showed her hand, and now I’m going to take her for everything she has.
The entire flight across the ocean, all I could think about was how to tell her.
I need to tell her she’s lying to herself if she thinks there isn’t something here.
Tell her that whatever I did to make her hate me can’t be so bad that I can’t fix it.
That “once” will never be enough. I’m fairly sure I could wake up with her beside me every day for the rest of my life, and it would still never be enough.
That she can pretend to hate me, but it won’t change the fact that whatever this thing between us is, it’s inevitable.
I’m already certain of all of that; I just need to make her believe it too…and I need to do it before she gets any more ideas about going back to Hydratta.
I don’t care if she’s gathering information for Vernallis. Even if it’s just a political maneuver, the idea of her even pretending to consider another man’s proposal makes me want to murder something; find the nearest swamp creature and rip its head from its body, if only to relieve some of the pressure building inside me.
Add on the fact that Magnus is my lifelong enemy…it’s inconceivable.
If Odessa tries to go back to Hydratta once we’ve made it out of this swamp I don’t know what I’ll do. Lock her up, maybe, or follow her to Hydratta myself even if I am walking into certain death.
At this point, the thought of death might be a relief.
At least then I could have a rest from all this need. Need for retribution. Need to protect her. Need to be near her. Need for her…
“Kastian?” Dessa asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
I look up quickly, thinking wildly that she’s changed her mind and wants to go back to the river. Or, that she somehow heard my thoughts and knows how hopelessly obsessed with her I am.
I clear my throat and try to keep my tone even. “Yeah?”
“Where are we?”
I squint at her silhouette between the trees. She’s not that far ahead of me, but admittedly it’s still so fucking dark I can barely see my hand in front of my face and I haven’t been paying much attention to where we’re going. “What do you mean? Weren’t you walking back to Jett and the pirate?”
She backtracks a few steps and comes to stand in front of me, her face almost visible in the low light. “I was, but where are they? I can’t find them.”
