Page 120 of A Storm in Every Heart
ODESSA, PRESENT
“It’s a long story,” Kastian says, his eyes wide and pleading. “Just listen.”
Listen? How can I listen when all I can hear is the pounding of my heart in my ears.
A moment ago, I was all too aware that Kastian was furious with me. Everything from his livid expression to his growling tone made it entirely too clear that I’d accidentally pushed him too far.
I probably should have expected it.
I’ve seen this happen dozens of times before with Fae couples. At first, the jealousy and intensity is hard to watch, but after a while, the couple either forms a soul bond or the feeling wears off and they go their separate ways.
I’d assumed—convinced myself, perhaps—that the same would happen with us. Obviously we’re not forming a soul bond, and as I’m determined not to destroy his life for a second time,whatever possessiveness he’s biologically wired to feel for me will wear off, eventually.
At least, that’s what I thought up until five seconds ago.
Now, I’m staring at Kastian, standing up to his knees in the swampy river. His shirt is off, and his chest, broad and sculpted like a statue, gleams with a sun-kissed tan, the lines of muscle defined and hard. Black swirling tattoos cover both his arms and the right side of his chest. Right over his heart, a shockingly realistic portrait of my own face stares back at me.
I feel like the ground has fallen out from under me.
“That’s me!” I hiss, pointing an accusatory finger at the tattoo.
“It wasn’t intentional, I swear.”
“How the fuck would you get a tattoo of my face without meaning to?”
He closes his eyes, squeezing the bridge of his nose as if warding off a headache. Then, he wades back out of the water and stands in front of me on the riverbank. “This is a long story.”
“We’ve got all the time in the world, so you better start talking,” I hiss, my hands shaking with…something. I don’t know. Shock? Horror? Excitement? I’m not even sure what I’m feeling at the moment.
“Remember, I told you about my soul-bond?” Kastian begins.
My eyes widen and I hear my own voice coming out of my mouth, sort of disembodied as if I’m having a dissociative experience. “You’re not saying?—”
“Just listen,” he insists. “I told you I found my soul bond, but lost her. The truth is, I don’t even remember her.”
All at once, my feelings about the tattoo take second fiddle to a crashing wave of guilt. This is my fault, then. I don’t know how it’s possible, but there’s only one reason he wouldn’t remember his bond. It’s the same reason he won’t remember anything else until the day he dies—because I let the sirens take his memories.
“I’m sorry,” I say in a small voice.
“It’s not your fault,” he says quickly. “I noticed the bond shortly before getting sent to Dyaspora. I don’t fully remember what happened. One morning I woke up and it was just…there.”
A shooting pain throbs in my chest as if I’ve been stabbed in the heart. I grit my teeth. “Explain to me why that would inspire you to get a tattoo of my face.”
He winces, raising an arm to drag his hand over the back of his head. The motion makes his muscles contract, only bringing the tattoos into sharper relief.
“For the last century, I’ve never stopped thinking about the bond. I’d always thought if I ever escaped Dyaspora I’d go looking for her—whoever she is. I should have gotten out of prison and immediately felt the urge to go back to Hydratta to find her.”
I cock my head, hating myself for being curious about this story. “That didn’t happen?”
“No. Once I was free I never felt any strong urge to go back to Hydratta. After Daemon and Alix bonded and I saw how they were together I started to wonder if I’d been wrong all along about the bond. Except that I can still feel it,” he reaches up and rubs his chest, “right here.”
My head spins and I feel a bit faint. If we weren’t standing on the muddy, swampy riverbank I’d sit down and put my head between my knees.
I’m sure Kastian has no idea how he could form a bond and not remember it, but I know. I know exactly how it could have happened…except that it makes no sense, because there was no one there he might have formed a bond with. Except, well,me…but if that were the case wouldn’t I know?
One of the few certain things that everyone knows about bonds is that once formed they can’t be broken. The bond is a biological shift that can only happen once. Males tend to feelit first, and once bonded, they will never leave their partners—ever. That’s why there’s nearly no such thing as infidelity among the Fae.
I can’t believe I hadn’t really thought about that until now. I was so focused on my horror at realizing he’s bonded and my obsession with trying to keep us both alive, that I never realized that if Kastian really bonded with someone else who isn’t me, he shouldn’t—wouldn’t—be able to be here with me now. The other night could never have happened.
