Page 98 of Pictures in Blue
She leans in again, waiting for me to close the rest of the distance between us. A few more inches and I could press my mouth to hers, lean her down onto the blanket I laid out earlier. We set the lanterns down next to each other on the blanket.
We both stretch out next to each other to look at the sky, arms brushing against each other, our hands intertwined with one another. The stars glitter above resembling the flickering lights at our sides.
Bottled sunshine.
That’s what Avery is. A jar just for me to warm my hands around on a cold winter night. A jar of love and warmth. A bright light filling a small space, her smile filling whatever room she walks into. I want more than just a bottle. I want the whole damn jar.
“This is perfect,” she whispers.
I turn toward her propping my elbow underneath me, so I can see her face. My heart quickens to a speed that is probably dangerous as as I look at her and take her in.
“Avery, this last week has been…well, it’s been more than I expected and I don’t think I want it to end.”
“I don’t want it to either…” she hesitates. “But, what am I supposed to do, Hudson? I don’t belong here. What would I do? I have a job to get back to, a life.”
The way she says it doesn’t convince me. “A job you don’t like and a life you left to find something meaningful.”
“I know, but I always planned to go back. You know that.”
“Stay,” I place my hand on her hip and pull her closer to me. “Stay with me. Live here. Build your photography studio. Hell, live out your dream and live above the studio if you aren’t ready to live together. We can date until you’re ready for that step. Whatever you need. I just want you in my life, Avery. Will you stay with me?” My voice cracks on the last two words and I can’t help but sound desperate. The way people have left my life before may not have been voluntary, but it doesn’t smother the feeling of desperation when it comes to the thought of Avery leaving.
“Sky told you?”
“She might have called me and filled me in on her idea,” I admit sheepishly.
“Can I think about it?” She asks. “There’s a lot I would need to figure out and I can’t just,” she sighs. “I can’t just pick up and move my life without a plan.”
I lean my head to hers, touching the pad of my thumb to her bottom lip. “Take the time you need, Sunshine. I will wait as long as you need me to. I’m not going anywhere.”
I kiss her and we quickly shed our clothes, tangling our bodies in each other once again with the stars blinking above us, a slight breeze chilling our bare skin. The hope I feel in my chest swells as we move together, more hope than I have had in a long time.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
AVERY
The doorbell rings mid-morning and I bury myself deeper into Hudson’s comforter, breathing in his scent. Judy is snuggled up at my feet with Bernard taking over Hudson’s side. After a morning of lots (and I mean lots) of orgasms. Hudson is nothing if not generous—and thorough. He left the bedroom earlier to make coffee. And apparently breakfast from the smell wafting up the stairs.
I reach over to pet Bernard behind his ears when I hear an all too-familiar voice piercing the air. A voice that sends my whole body into a panic. I shoot out of bed and dress as quickly as I can after running to the guest room. I may be sleeping—or not sleeping—in Hudson’s bed every night, but my suitcase is still in the guest room. I rummage through my discarded clothes before throwing on leggings and the sweatshirt I got from Sky’s store the other day.
Shit, shit, shit.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why she’s here or how she even found me. I haven’t been answering her texts or voicemails, because I didn’t want to feel the way she always makes me feel when I am around her. Small and non-existent. To her I am a speck of dust that keeps coming back after it’s swept underneath the couch. I am supposed to stay hidden, an unworthy particle. But I come back every time and when cleaning day comes around, I am swept right back where I belong. Where she makes me feel like I belong. I haven’t felt like that speck of dust since I got here. Since my agreement with Hudson. He knows some of my relationship issues with my mother, but I never really gave him the specifics. I didn’t want to scare him off with my baggage, and since I talked with Elias and made the phone call I did, I left her behind. I was done with her, but now she’s here.
Now, she’s here to ruin it; to ruin me like she always does.
Their voices carry up the stairs as I take a second at the top to compose myself.
Inhale. Exhale.
Clench. Unclench.
“I don’t think she was expecting you,” I hear Hudson say. I peak around the corner and he is fully clothed in his flannel pants and gray t-shirt. He’s lucky he put something on or else Sharon would have tried to take advantage. Then again, a layer of clothes never stopped her before and now is not the time I expect her to show restraint.
“Oh, she is,” is all she says with her nose high up in the air, a haughty look on her face like she is a prized mare and he is a stallion that should be begging for her attention.
She pushes past him, taking off the bright pink gloves that match her pantsuit. “Avery!” She calls. “Come down and greet your mother.”
Dramatic much? I roll my eyes and take one last deep breath.
