Page 144 of How You See Me
The man beside me, now with an unlit cigar dangling from his mouth, mutters a few curse words when he busts.He throws down his cards, jumps up from his stool, and stalks off.
“Big baby,” Evie jokes.
The man in the gray suit plays it safe, holding at seventeen. Coward.
Evie winks over her shoulder and shows me her cards—a jack and a nine.
My turn. I tap the table for another card. A seven.
Twenty-one in total.
Evie and gray-suit guy spin toward the dealer. He flips over his hidden card. Another seven, giving him ten.
I feel no anticipation, no thrill as his last card reveals a king of hearts. Nothing except the gnawing ache of heartbreak and an urgent need to get this over with.
“You won!” Evie squeals, slinking down from her stool. She leans in close, her hand landing on my forearm as if we’re partners in something more than coincidence. “Let’s go celebrate, handsome.”
I gather my winnings silently and straighten to my full height, towering over her by almost a foot. Her hand lingers on my arm, the contact making my skin crawl.
I puff out my “no thanks,” brushing past her and toward the casino cashier.
“Oh, come on. Don’t leave like that!” She chases after me, but I’m already halfway across the casino, moving faster that she can in her skyscraper heels.
At the cashier’s window, I dump my chips on the counter and take a quick photo with my phone.
“Cash out,” I demand.
Moments later, she hands me a receipt and my card. “Seven-fifty. Congratulations.”
“Wow! Seven-hundred and fifty dollars,” Evie swoons, bounding up beside me. “You could have a lot of fun with that kind of cash. Want to go—”
“No,” I cut her off, my tone ice-cold. “I don’t want to spend another second in this godforsaken place—or with you.”
Her jaw drops. “Excuse me?”
But I’m already gone.
I shove through the front doors of the casino, hoping to find a shred of my sanity in the van—and in whatever awaits on the other side of this night.
Inside, it’s dark. The same darkness Josie used to fill with her laughter, her endless chatter, and her light.
I run a hand down my face, then punch the steering wheel.
“Damn it.”
Everything inside me is fraying. Ava’s fighting for her life on the other side of the country. I left behind the one person who helps me push past the ugliness. Worst of all, when Josie told me she loved me, and I couldn’t even say it back.
And why the hell not?
Regretting so many things I can’t fix right now, I start the engine.
Josie deserves more than I can give while my life resembles a mismatched pile of puzzle pieces. I’ll only hold her back until my life makes sense again. Right now, I needto focus on my family. I can figure out the rest after I’m home with Ava.
But there’s no denying that as soon as I’m capable, I’ll claw my way back to Josie and never let go.
???
I drive through the night like I’m trying to outrun myself. Maybe if I keep moving, I won’t feel the wreckage of all I left behind.
