“So you think Axel should treat me like crap and I should still love him?” Saying it out loud made my chest hurt. Because the truth was...I did still love him. No matter how much he hurt me. No matter how many times he rejected me. I just kept going back. I was sick in the head. And apparently my mom was too.
“No. I hate that he’s hurting you. A piece of me wants to call up his father and...”
“Don’t you dare call Uncle Tyler,” I said. I really needed to stop calling Axel’s dad Uncle Tyler. It was making all this incest phase stuff all too real.
She smiled. “I won’t interfere.”
“You swear?”
“I promise. But back to that phrase.”
Geez, why did she so badly want Axel to be a jerk to me? “I think I got it. The more I cry over a boy, the better, right?” I shook my head and started eating my ice cream again. Maybe it would comfort me more than my mom would.
“That’s not what I said. But I can’t sit here and say that it might not be worth the pain. Because then I’d be a complete hypocrite.”
I just stared at her. I needed her to say so much more right now. Why wasn’t she saying more? “What do you mean?”
She sighed. “I can’t even count how many times your dad made me cry when we first started dating. I was so in my head. And our relationship was so up and down. But God I loved him. I loved him with everything I am. And even though there was some pain, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Because it led me to this moment.”
“So you’re saying that Dad was a dick?”
“Language, Scarlett.”
“But that’s what you just said...”
“I did not call your father a dick.” She laughed. “He was just...difficult.”
“Mhm.” My dad was a dick. Just like Axel. But the difference was that my mom and dad were dating when he was being terrible. Axel and I weren’t. And I was tired of feeling like crap. I was tired of wanting someone who’d never want me back.
I thought about Jacob and the way he’d looked in his boxers. Maybe I’d kissed him. Maybe I’d already moved on from Axel. Seriously, who the hell had I kissed? I sighed and took another bite of ice cream.
“And I wouldn’t worry too much about your first kiss.” My mom patted my back. “Mine was with a guy that meant nothing.” She shook her head like it wasn’t even worth thinking about the little blip that was her first kiss.
Why did she always stop talking when I wanted her to say more?
“The important kiss to remember is yourlastfirst kiss.”
“Dad was the last guy you had a first kiss with?” That was really sweet.
“Yes, he...” She paused and pressed her lips together. “Actually. Wait. No.” Her cheeks turned red.
“Mom!”
“Forget what I just said. I meant the important kiss to remember is with the person you choose to kiss for the rest of your life.”
“Mom, who was your last first kiss with?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“You were such a slut.”
She pretended to gasp but it turned into a laugh halfway through. “Your father mentioned that you’ve been really into throwing that insult out recently. Maybe rein it in a bit, okay?”
“Well then Liam should stop dressing like a slut.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Not wearing his tie to class hardly classifies as slutty.”
“If I chose not to wear an article of clothing to class it would be.”