Page 41 of Ronan
“He’s not a cheater. That’s kinda against everything he is thanks to his childhood trauma, so you’re safe on that front.”
She nods absentmindedly. “I know. Orion’s a good guy, he’s just with the wrong girl. And whoever Nightbreed is, he’s perfect for me but also I want to kill him right now.”
“Kill, huh? Why’s that?”
“Because either his phone’s broken, he’s in jail because a neighbor saw him leave in the middle of the night, or he honestly thinks it’s okay to fuck someone in everyhole they have and then go no contact the next day.” She huffs. “I’m starting to think I expect too much from him.”
Goddamnit.
I’ve failed her as a Dom so many times I’m beginning to lose count, and I don’t know how to fix it. The burner phone I use to talk to her was fucking dead and I got distracted once it charged up talking to her as myself.
“Has he given you any reason as to why he’s not ready?”
“Just that he needs to know he can trust me first and that I won’t run away when I find out who he is,” she explains. “Which I understand that and I’m trying so hard to be patient about it, but I just don’t understand how he’ll ever know that. I can’t prove to him I’m trustworthy without knowing what it is I need to be trusted about. Is he a criminal? Should I tell him that as long as he’s not out there killing puppies or raping and murdering people, I don’t mind a rap sheet? Is he famous? Should I be telling him that I don’t care who he is or how much money he has? If he’s someone I know, should I start telling him I have a crush on someone I know? It doesn’t make sense andI just feel helpless about it. I don’t know what to do to make him see.”
I could put her out of her misery right now, and I’m the biggest coward for not doing it. The longer I drag this out the worse it will be, and soon it’ll be so bad she’ll cut meandNightbreed off. “Wait, what do you mean? If he’s someone you know, should you tell him... what?”
She rolls her eyes with a soft smile. “You know what I mean. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do to get him to trust me, that’s all. The only crush I had on someone in my life was... wrong.”
Suddenly, she refuses to meet my gaze, and I have to fucking know who it was. Was it Orion?
“If it was my best friend, I might go punch him on principle.”
“It wasn’t Orion. We’ve been through this.”
We have.
“What would you do to figure out who he is? Would you follow him home if you could?”
“He followedmehome, so I think that would be fair,” she laughs. “But he doesn’t really give me a chance. When we left theplace with the glory hole, he hid until I left, and last night he left while I was sleeping.”
“It’s probably because he wants to make this last as long as possible.”
Even I hear how defensive my tone is, and I know she does too. I can see it on her face.
I’m saved temporarily by the food showing up and my beautiful little cumslut of a sister inhaling her food, but once we get it cleaned up and sit back on the couch, she acts like this damned conversation never stopped.
“If he wants to make it last, he has to give me something. I feel like a fucking idiot already giving him all of me when I don’t feel like I have any of him.”
She has more than she even knows, but how could she if I’m a closed book? I can’t do this anymore, and neither can she. It’s time to see how much she means what she says.
“Is there anyone that would make you call it off?”
“Like if he tells me who he is?” she asks. “I mean, unless he’s already in a relationship orbloodrelated to me, no. His identity wouldn’t matter to me.”
Am I crazy or did she enunciate blood?
“So if he’s neither of those things, you’re good? He has nothing to worry about?”
She snorts. “Unless he’s a closet Republican or hates air conditioning, I can’t imagine another reason I’d balk at his identity. It just... doesn’t matter. He’s already proving he’s everything I’ve always wanted so why the fuck would I care who he really is?”
If these are her only lines, I’m completely in the clear.
So what the fuck is really holding me back?
“I don’t know.”
“Me either.” She hesitates again. “Why do you think he won’t tell me? Like if it were you, you’d tell me who you were, right? I mean... tellherwho you were. Whatever girl you were fucking.”
