Page 81 of Sighs of the Highland Wind
For a moment, Ava was puzzled. “The young Laird?”
“Aye, the new one at Kilcarron,” the woman replied. “The very big man.”
Suddenly reality hit her. The Laird was Cameron, but what was he doing here? She had made it perfectly clear how she felt and why she was not free to marry him. Dreading the encounter, she stumbled downstairs to confront him. He was standing with his back to her and her footsteps had not been heard on the thickly carpeted stairs, so she had a chance to observe him for a moment. He was magnificent. There was no other word to describe him.
His shoulders were broad, tapering to a narrow waist and hips, a tight backside and powerfully muscled thighs and calves. His shining blond hair hung down to his shoulders, and she could not help gazing at him hungrily.
Ava felt the familiar flood of warmth between her thighs, and a pleasant fluttering pulse. It was a joyous feeling, but she knew that however much she wanted Cameron, she could never have him, and her fleeting joy suddenly turned into deep sadness.
Cameron felt a prickling on the back of his neck, a sure sign that someone was watching him. He spun around and his eyes met Ava’s. She was gazing down at him from a few steps up thestaircase, and her expression was infinitely sad. His heart went out to her. God, how he loved her!
He moved closer and bowed to Ava while still staying a short distance away from her, since he was determined that no-one would see anything but a formal meeting between a Laird and a friend.
Ava gazed at him hungrily for a moment then brought her expression to a more neutral expression. “What are you doing here?” she whispered.
“I came to see if I could speak to you,” he replied. “The council has told me that my father is dead. They tell me I am to be the new Laird. I wanted you to hear it from me first. It will mean many changes.” He looked away from her, and she saw a spasm of pain cross his face. “I wish we could marry, Ava. I have so much to give you, and I don’t just mean the estate. I wish things were different.”
Ava’s heart was breaking as she shook her head and turned away. “So do I Cam, but there is nothin’ we can do. You must marry Davina an’ be happy. I am sure she will look after you. She is the right woman for you an’ comes from the proper social class. Forget me, Cam. I am nobody. Anyway, we are in the home of my future husband and your future wife. Our security depends on both of these people. Please leave now, an’ stop comin’ to see me. Goodbye.” Ava knew she was being cruel, but every time she saw him it broke her heart anew, and she could not stand much more of it.
She turned away and he watched her go, his heart shattering. There was nothing more he could do.
17
Amonth went by, and the ceremony for the betrothal of Cameron and Davina approached with frightening speed. Laird Lewis had been buried quickly and with the bare minimum of ceremony, as he had asked. He had never been a man who enjoyed pomp and circumstance, considering it a waste of time and resources.
There was a week of mourning, although the Laird had not wanted any at all. However, the elders had made their own decision and the betrothal ceremony for Cameron and Davina was to be pushed back a little, which both of them thought was a good thing, although not for the same reasons.
In that time Cameron moved from his cottage into the castle, and James Henderson decided that Davina should too. He did not ask Cameron’s permission, because he knew it would have been refused, so he moved her in anyway and presented him with a fait accompli.
Davina was happy with the idea, thinking that it would give them time to get to know each other a little better, but Cameron was furious, and confronted Henderson as soon as he found out.
He called Henderson to his study. “Why did you move Davina in here without my permission?” he asked Henderson furiously. “I am the Laird here, no’ you!”
“I thought you would be pleased,” he answered, pretending to be hurt. It was a lie, and both of them knew it, but Cameron was trapped; he could not throw Davina out of the place that was about to become her home.
“Don’t insult my intelligence, Henderson!” Cameron growled. “She can stay, but you can keep out of my sight!”
Cameron tried to go out only at twilight and in the darkness, but Davina invariably found him. He longed for rainy nights, when she did not venture out of her chamber, for then he could stand on the turrets to look out into the darkness and think.
For the life of him, he could not think of a way of bending the situation to his will. He could not wish Davina away. He could only let himself be betrothed to her and hope that things worked out between them when they married. After all, she was a pleasant enough woman - she was just not the woman he wanted.
It was one of those nights that only came along once in a blue moon in the Highlands: there was a thunderstorm. This was something that happened so seldom that it terrified the life out of the locals. The guards all scuttled downstairs in fear of their lives, because standing exposed to lightning on top of a high tower could be fatal. Cameron was quite aware of this, but chose to risk it anyway. He simply could not stand to be indoors anymore.
He was not so stupid as to stand on the top turret, of course, but he was soaked to the skin in no time, anyway. Nevertheless, herelished the rain, feeling it washing away the cares of the day, making him feel clean and renewed.
The only problem that ate away at his peace of mind was Ava. He constantly fretted about her, wondering what she was doing. How was she faring? And most of all, who was she kissing? Had she begun to desire James Henderson? He wished he could talk to her, but how could he when the very thought of her threatened to unman him?
He yearned for his Ava, and every night before he went to bed he pleasured himself while thinking of her because he needed her so much. What did she look like naked? He would likely never know, but he could imagine: full, rounded breasts, a tiny waist, curving hips and shapely legs. Her sex would be hidden behind a little patch of copper coloured hair, and she would smell of the earth, the pine trees whose cones she collected for kindling, and her own sweet essence.
Cameron sighed.‘Oh, Ava,’he thought.‘If only ye were mine I would treasure ye forever and never let ye go.’
But that would never be, because they were both promised to others, and were tied by chains of obligation and duty. Cameron stamped his foot, growling. How had it come to this? Tomorrow was his betrothal day, and he wished with all his heart and soul that he was being joined to the woman he loved. Still, he thought, it was not a marriage, merely a temporary arrangement which could be broken. He would cling to that.
He went downstairs and threw himself on his bed, but when he closed his eyes, thoughts of Ava would not let him sleep. He knew what he had to do, and he pleasured himself while conjuring up images of her standing naked before him. Afterwards, he fell into a doze, but he did not sleep soundly untilthe hour before dawn, and he woke up with a headache and a feeling that he had been drunk the night before. He knew that it was a sign that bode ill for his betrothal day.
Ava had given Mary the day off on the day of Cameron’s betrothal, even though the maid had protested. She wanted no one in her bedroom but her sisters in case she dissolved into tears.
“Are ye sure ye want to go, Ava?” Rona was concerned as she pulled a brush slowly down Ava’s hair before plaiting it into a long plait which she then twisted into a bun at the nape of her neck. “Will it no’ be very hurtful for ye?”
