Page 37 of Seamus: Unconventional
I agree. “I can. It isn’t about the skeleton or what I can do in it. They dropped us from a chopper in Pakistan. Luckily, I recognized the language and had contacts I threw out right away. I couldn’t move, couldn’t turn to see who was close, could barely breathe because of broken ribs. That language got us help and safe. The CIA dumped us like trash. Honest to God, I thought it was the end of me. My partners got medical supplies, medicines, food and anything we needed. Shadow had a broken leg but the doctor casted him like he was human. They showed me, every day they showed me, I was worth something to them. A week in, the doctor got spooked. We got moved to a port city. It was loud, busy and easier to get what we needed. It took two months to get a chair with adjustments to conceal weapons, clothes, money and finally, safe passage to Scotland. They kept me moving forward when all I wanted to do was to stop and breathe. There was no time for that.” I smile remembering.
“They wouldn’t let you feel sorry for yourself.”Myers knows.
“Nope. New meant I needed to adapt. We weren’t trash, they pushed me to remember how to matter, to them, but mostly to me, I think. Light was forever showing me pictures of injured vets. No arm or legs, even colonel Graywolf with scarred skin. I was surprised to see him here because Light used him to keep me going. He dragged his men over two hundred miles, one was his best friend but he didn’t leave anyone behind. The guy was burnt, infected, starving, dehydrated and wouldn’t fuckin’ quit. They were left for dead like us but that whole team made it home, both dead and alive because he didn’t quit. I had no excuse. No one understood what the partners were capable of. I had no excuse and they showed me that every day. I felt it so deep that I remembered how to matter to me. We made it through three countries before we were found in US.”
“Why you come to the US? CIA US.” Alder has a point.
I smile. “CIA is part of the US government but they work outside the US borders. It’s so fucked up here, no one pays attention to their neighbors.”
He nods his head accepting my reasoning. The handlers and Myers stand. “You needed chaos to cover the supplies you’d need.”
I nod to Myers. “Exactly and we’d need work.”
They go to the pool with the trainers and partners that come in. Asa follows them but Alder stays with Cort and Raid.
“It wasn’t that easy, Brother.”
I look up at Cort. “Nope. The colonel told me about being fueled by anger. He took the FBI job feeling unconnected to even his tribe. He was pissed at the sun for shining. I can relate. Paralyzed never entered my thinking. No time to plan, adjust, hell, even looking shit up didn’t happen until we hit the US. I didn’t know what to expect, how to live with no legs or even what it meant for a family. We just kept going forward until Border Patrol flagged me.”
“Border Patrol flagged you?” Raid asks like it’s ridiculous.
I just said it. “Yeah, I had Light check. I showed proof and schooled him on dual citizenship. My social security card was shown as proof. He must have caught it on the body cam.”
“That’s how they knew where to find you.” Cort leans forward. “Your girl is with Seren…”
I stop him. “Don’t go there, Boss. There will never be my girl. I’m paralyzed. Not the kind that retains feeling for more than bladder and bowel function. Even that is more of an internal organ expansion feeling. The reason it was hard to feel like I mattered was because of that. There are no women, kids of my own, heirs to pass down a legacy or inheritance. I have me, my purpose, experience and partners.”
His eyes close. “I hoped that wasn’t the case.”
“You don’t…”
Cort hits Raid’s shoulder. “Klappe zu, Affe tot.”
I smile at the German shut up. “It’s a score card that only mattered to me, Raid. I never thought it would matter to you.”
He shakes his head. “Fuck off.” He is up and walking away.
Cort smiles. “It’s one way to stop questions.”
“But not yours.” I let him know he’s not fooling me.
That smile looks like a pose. “You’re quick. No not mine. You don’t think Katie can be something to you, the boys and your partners?”
I give him that. “She could. I’m not saying a companion is out, just like Ops isn’t out. This is new to me. The feelings, the whole lifestyle that you’ve changed for me when I thought I had the last new normal down. I’m paralyzed and walking, Boss. It takes time to adjust to the new in my life then make adjustments for the other parts of it. The boys will need someone and they latched on to me. I came to terms with no kids and never planned on this, but I want to be there for them. It may be my only chance to teach what I know and share my experiences. Mark wants military, I know military, Boss. Vinny was thrown away by his mom, Leon is dying. I lived that too. I want to give those lessons of our fathers to him.” My voice dropped low but he’s paying attention.
He nods swallowing hard. “I see it.”
“I see too. You same to Alpha-Bit. Never more but love, vision, lesson, happiness to who we are, who help get us here.”
“That’s it, LP. I’m okay with who I am and know I matter. I want to matter to the boys, the partners and know there’s more but don’t mind stopping to breathe it all in and adjust at less than Mach 5 for a while.”
“I understand. Too much, too fast. Life change and no time to enjoy same to it pass us by. No more to us, one life, we let pass, it have no purpose.”The Little President is smart as a whip.
“Yeah, Brother.”
Cort is struggling but throws us both chin. “Tell me what you need.” He stands but doesn’t add anything before he turns toward the pool.
I breathe deep watching him. Paralyzed was a lot to deal with without time to get life changing intel but we made it. When I feel settled, I ask, “He came to push Katie?”
