Page 14 of The Hang Up
I open my mouth to reply, then pause. Finally, I say, “I want her to be part of it. But even if she never forgives me, I’m staying. I’m not running again. I want roots here. Real ones. I want to build something that matters.”
Ray nods slowly, like that’s the only answer he was willing to accept. “Then show her. And not with coffee or baked goods. Do what you did back when she still smiled at you.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
Wade grins. “He means write her another letter.”
“You think she wants that? She hasn’t liked any of the others I’ve written her.”
“She didn’t want the brownie either,” Wade says dryly. “Didn’t stop you.”
Ray shrugs. “Girls like letters. Especially when they come from the heart.”
I blow out a breath. “Even if the last one ended in disaster?”
“You’re not the same guy who wrote that first one,” Ray says. “And she’s not the same girl who read it. Maybe it’s time you started writing from where you are now. Not where you were then.”
His words hit me square in the chest. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.”
I stay a little longer, helping them with the truck, but my mind is already back at the workshop. Back at my desk and the blank page waiting for me to get this right.
When I finally head home, I don’t bother turning on the TV or making lunch. I head straight to the shop, flipping on the lights and sinking onto the stool by my workbench.
The air smells like cedar and varnish and old memories.
I grab a pen and a fresh sheet of paper and sit for a long time, staring at it.
Then I start writing.
Lena,
I know you’re tired of hearing from me. I know I don’t deserve your time. But I need to say this anyway.
I’ve been trying to find the right words since I got back. Trying to explain what happened, what I was thinking, why I left.
The truth is, I was scared. Not of you. Not of us. But of not being enough.
When my grandpa died, I didn’t just lose the only family I had. I lost the person who made me believe I could be somebody. I felt like I needed to prove I could be a man who deserved you. A man who could build a life for us.
So I left. Thinking I’d go out and become that man.
But instead, I broke the only thing that ever made sense.
You.
I know sorry isn’t enough. I know I can’t undo what I did. But I need you to know that I came back for you. I stayed for you. And I’ll keep staying. For as long as it takes.
Lilac Harbor is my home, Lena. And you’re the heart of it.
Please read this. Give me a chance to prove I can be the man who stays.
Forever yours,
Holden
I fold the letter carefully, like it’s sacred. Slipping it into an envelope, I scrawl her name across the front in my messiest handwriting the way I used to. Like it might make her smile.
I stand in the doorway for a second, the breeze from the lake stirring the hem of my jacket, and then I walk into town.
