Page 27 of Loving Roman
“Well, I’m happy you moved closer to your son.” I grin at her. “And it works out well for me, too.”
She smiles briefly but it seems a little forced. “Me, too.”
I reach across, laying my hand on top of hers, hopefully offering comfort. “Whenever you want to talk about your family, I’m here, ready to listen.”
Alice swallows hard, giving me a curt nod. Her eyes are glassy, and I know I need to bring us back to something lighter. “Well, you and I have a couple of things in common. I’m a bit of a rule follower, myself. I also think it’s important to set up and maintain a routine. Particularly for the kids. Clear expectations and routines help the kids to feel safe. That doesn’t mean I’m rigid. I always factor in some spontaneous stuff or else life’s no fun and I don’t want the kids to get stuck in a rut.” She nods her agreement as we each take another bite of spaghetti. “And you know Italian food has a special place in my heart, so this was the best choice for the evening.”
“I’m delighted you love Italian food as much as I do. Same as you, my maternal grandparents were Italian, so when I was young, we would enjoy a traditional Italian meal every Sunday.” Her face lights up at the thought of her grandparents.
She has a fantastic smile. I love that we have our Italian heritage in common. She knew about mine because I was lessstrict about sharing personal information than she was. “It sounds like you have great memories of your grandparents.”
“Oh, I do. My nonna is also responsible for my love of reading.” She chuckles lightly.
“I don’t get much time to read. Six kids in the house means a lot of work. While they’re at school, I catch up on errands and chores around the house and garden. After school is always busy with feeding the kids, getting homework done, and ensuring they get outside to expend their energy, as well as after-school activities, psychology appointments, and whatever else they need.” As much as I’d like to pursue a relationship with Alice, I know it’ll be a challenge to find time.
Alice leans forward, gesturing for me to meet her halfway, and then presses a light kiss to my lips. She pulls away quickly, but the small gesture gives me hope that things will move forward in the direction I’m hoping they’ll go.
“Did you ever want kids of your own?” Her eyes widen, and her mouth snaps shut, then opens again. She waves her hand in the air between us as if she can erase the question. “Sorry, that was too personal.”
“Nah, that’s okay. Ididwant kids of my own, but I never met the right woman at the right time.” I shrug. “Then I got into what I’m doing now, and I never seemed to have the time to meet someone. The kids fill my days, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out on having my own when I have them.”
I know I’m not supposed to get attached, but I love the kids I’m caring for as if they were my own. I don’t know how I could possibly keep my heart out of it; not sure I’d want to. It’s not who I am at my core. I’ve been told I feel too deeply, but I don’t think it’s possible. Some people don’t allow themselves to feel deeply enough, in my opinion.
“My work is beyond that of a standard nine-to-five job, but I love what I do. It’s not something I can leave behind, so Ican’t imagine too many women would be interested in getting involved with someone like me.”
She flicks her wrist as if she’s flicking away my words. “I don’t know about that. You’re doing such a great job with them. They’re so well adjusted and happy. I find that an attractive quality, and I’m certain I wouldn’t be the only woman to feel that way.” But she’s theonlywomanIwantto feel that way.
Her words have a seed of hope growing deep in my soul for a future together. I drop my eyes to our joined hands, noticing how well they fit together. “Thanks. I do my best. Our unit isn’t perfect. We all have our moments.”
“All families do. That’s the beautiful thing, Roman. You’ve created a family. From what I’ve observed so far, most, but not all, of theParkervillehomes have a strong family atmosphere. You should feel proud of what you’ve created. On your own, no less.”
“Idofeel proud. Last December, we almost lost all of the homes when it was discovered that a large sum of money had been stolen fromThe Parkerville Project. Everyone had to move to the central location. It was interesting to watch the different dynamics that I’m not normally privy to. Some counselors have their own agendas instead of following what the kids in their care need.”
The rest of the meal is spent discussing everything from the education system to our favorite ice cream flavors. We agree on the importance of communication but agree to disagree on the best football team. On all important matters, we’re remarkably similar, but we also have some differences that aren’t necessarily deal breakers.
We decide to wander along the pier to walk off some of the carbs we enjoyed for dinner, soaking up the warmish evening and engaging in more conversation before calling it a night.
I don’t want to let her go.
If I could invite her back to the group home, I would, butit’s unethical and inappropriate in a house full of pre-pubescent kids. I’m their role model, and she’s protective of her new role. There’s no way I’d dream of putting her in a situation that could cause her discomfort.
We arrive at her car, and I can’t stop myself from pressing her against the driver’s door. Holding her hands down by our sides, I nuzzle the crook of her neck, inhaling her addictive vanilla scent. There’s something about her that centers me, makes me feel at ease, and allows me to be myself. It’s not as if I’ve dated a lot over the years to be an expert or anything, but I’m drawn to her in a way I can’t explain.
I kiss her in the place I know she loves—behind her earlobe—and slowly move my way toward her mouth. She sighs as I press my body into hers and my cock lengthens against her softness. I kiss her deeply, expressing my intimate need for her. With our mouths united, our breaths blend, and our tongues dance. Her kisses are as exquisite now as they were when we were on vacation.Addictive.
My mind blanks of the million and one things I need to do and fixates on this moment, with her, only her.
It’ll only ever be her for me.
Ineedto make this work.
Desperately.
She pulls back from the kiss, her lips slowly widening, as she drops her forehead to my chest. I release her hands and wrap my arms around her shoulders, tucking her into me.
Wrapping her arms around my waist, she looks up at me. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve been kissed. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy the intimacy.”
I should feel jealous that some other man was lucky enough to kiss her, but I’d be stupid to think she’d never been kissed before. Apart from the fact that she has a grown son, she’s a beautiful woman. The part that surprises me the most is thatshe hasn’t enjoyed male company for a very long time. She hinted as much during the few days we spent together.
