Page 18 of Loving Roman
Tucking my hands into my pockets so I don’t rip open her door and drag her back out, I watch her start the engine and back out of her parking space. She waves and smiles sadly before driving away. I’m left standing in the parking lot, my heart in tatters. The urge to jump in my car and follow her is overwhelming, but I need to get some gifts for the kids, as well as Kate and Oliver. Shopping will be the perfect distraction and give me time to gather myself before I head home.
Pulling into the driveway, I’m thankful the kids are still in school, so I have a chance to recalibrate before I’m bombarded. I turn the engine off and sit in my car to peer at the house I share with six almost teenagers.
I love the work I do. I really do. It fills my cup like nothing else could.
UntilAlice.
I study the house I’ve called home for the last thirteen years and remember the kids who have come and gone from my care. The work I do is important. Iknowthat. I’ve cherished every moment I’ve had here, even the frustrating and heartbreaking ones. But as I look at the house, a tiny seed of resentmenttakes root.Thisis the reason I can’t pursue something with Alice, and it makes my gut twist.
The feeling is unfamiliar and unwelcome.
I shove it down deep and climb out of my car, collect my things, and traipse inside. Nothing good can come from negativity and resentment.
Without thinking twice, I unpack, wash my laundry, and set about making lemon drop cookies for the kids when they get home from school. They always make their own way home on Fridays, seeing as it’s the only day they don’t have any after-school activities. I purposely keep the afternoon free so they can wind down after a busy week. It helps them transition into the weekend.
Going from room to room, I check everything is in order, then shoot Kate a quick text.
Me
I’m home.
Thanks for taking care of the kids and the house.
Everything looks great.
Will I see you tomorrow for our usual Saturday catch up?
I don’t expect her to respond straight away because school has only just finished, and I know she likes to wait out front with her students to ensure they’re collected by their parents, so I’m surprised when my phone buzzes.
Kate
Yay! I’m glad you’re home safe
Oliver and I had so much fun with the kids, but I can’t wait to hear all about your vacation
See you tomorrow
My lips spread wide as I chuckle quietly. I can’t imagine Oliver being thrilled about staying for the week with a bunch of kids, but he’d do anything for Kate.
The screen door bangs open, and it sounds like a herd of elephants has crashed through the front of the house. I place the last cookie on the cooling rack and poke my head around the kitchen door. The kids’ eyes light up as they drop their school bags and bolt for me, almost knocking me over with their exuberant greeting.
I laugh loudly as I wrap my arms around them all and hold them to me. Even Sammy joins in, which raises my spirits further. That tiny seed of resentment gets pushed down deep to ensure it never sees the light of day again. Obviously, the week away skewed my perspective.
12
–alice–
I checkover my appearance in the full-length mirror one last time, then blow out a long breath. I study the dark circles beneath my eyes, checking they’re somewhat disguised. I barely got any sleep last night. Not unusual since I started going through perimenopause, but last night was so much worse because of my nerves.
Butterflies take flight, battering their paper-like wings against my stomach walls. I turn to the side and smooth down my skirt and shake out my hands.
Gosh, it’s been such a long time since I started a new job, I forgot how nerve-racking it is. I want to make a good first impression with my new boss, seeing as she went out on a limb to support me when the other two men in the tele-interview weren’t sold because of my age. Not that they said it outright, but I could tell what theyweren’tsaying. Gloria pointed out that my years of experience were exactly what they needed to guide the younger members of staff.
I tip my chin up and push my shoulders back. “You’ve got this!” I tell my reflection with confidence.Fake it ’til you make it, right?I take one last critical look at my outfit, deciding it reallyis perfect for my first day, then leave my bedroom. Drawing in a deep breath, I grab my lunch and purse, take one last look around my cozy new home, and head out.
I glance at the clock on my dash in frustration. Traffic wasn’t this congested yesterday when I did a practice run to ensure I left in plenty of time today. I’m still earlier than I need to be, but the traffic doesn’t seem to be moving, and I’m unfamiliar with the streets to seek an alternative route. Resigning myself to the fate of the traffic gods, I turn up the radio. The lyrics of a familiar song makes my heart skip a beat and my cheeks rise with a soft smile.
The singer talks about being the last night and doing it right. Kissing like they mean it … and Roman certainly kissed me like he meant it. Sigh.
