Page 17 of Loving Roman
I want to build a life with her by my side. If only it weren’t impossible.
I don’t want to lose her.
“Alice …”
She presses her finger to my lips and shakes her head softly. “I agree to your proposal,” she murmurs with a quiet smile touching her kiss-swollen lips. Her eyes sparkle beneath the blue sky as she peers up at me through thick lashes.
Hope flows swiftly through my body, filling all the emptyspaces—how did she know?—and my cheeks lift with a grin knowing she wants more too.
“We’ll meet back here in this exact spot one year from today.”
My heart sinks like the teenage boy I rescued in the sea. I was wrong. She’s happy to keep this as a vacation fling, and I could kick my own ass for putting the suggestion on the table that very first day. One thing I’ve learned about Alice is that she’s a stickler for keeping to the rules. And while I’m also that way inclined, I want to break the rules this once.
Smash them to pieces.
Obliterate them until the pieces are so small they’re no longer in existence.
She pushes up onto her toes and presses her lips to mine in a barely there kiss. Without any thought, I cup her cheeks and hold her to me to deepen our kiss. I don’t want to let her go. I won’t survive the year not being able to see her, speak with her, hold her … kiss her.
After long moments, she pulls away, and I press my forehead to hers as agony tears through my body. Saying goodbye is more painful than I could have imagined. It’s like I’m cleaving off a part of my body.
“Give me your number,” I beg.
Without lifting her forehead from mine, she shakes her head. “We agreed, Roman,” she says softly, her eyes boring into mine, begging me to understand. “Our lives don’t have room for a relationship.”
My rational mind knows this. It’s why I made the suggestion of a vacation fling with no strings. I don’t have time for a relationship outside of the kids. They take up all of my time, and until this week I was satisfied with that. But I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know I could feel this way, and I resent that I can’t have my job and Alice, too.
I blow out a long, defeated breath. “I know.” I kiss the tipof her nose. “I … I just don’t want to give this up. I don’t want to giveyouup.”
She raises her hand and presses it over my heart. “This week has been one of the best of my life. I’ll hold it close in my memory and my heart. I know I’ll draw on this experience often when I’m lonely. Spending this time with you … it’s been a true gift. One I’ll always cherish.”
“Me too.”
She grins, and I slide her hair behind her ears so there’s nothing hindering my view of her beautiful face. Her clear eyes capture mine, and we stare at each other like we’re both committing the other to memory.
Her smile falls. “I really need to get going. I promised Noah and Heather I’d meet them for lunch.”
My chest tightens as if a boa constrictor is wrapped around me, and I swear I’m having a heart attack. I hold back the grimace that wants to break free and smile softly. “Drive safely, please.”
“I will.”
I lean down and capture her lips again, lingering for as long as she’ll allow, reluctant to let her go. I’m proud of myself when I pull away and open the driver’s door for Alice. She dips inside her car, and I lean down to draw the seatbelt across her body. I can’t resist one more kiss, and when I pull away, her glistening eyes and the tears on her cheeks capture my attention.
Swiping beneath her eyes, my heart shatters into the sharpest shards. “Don’t cry,” I murmur.
She chuckles and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. This is just so hard.”
Dropping my forehead to hers, I agree. “More difficult than I could have imagined.”
“Tell me we’re doing the right thing,” she whispers, seeking validation, but I can’t give it to her.
This feels wrong on so many levels.
“Twelve months will fly by,” I say instead.
She nods. “Yeah, it will. I have a new job and a house to get settled into. That will give me something to focus on.” She draws a sharp breath. “And you said your job keeps you very busy with long hours. We’ll be back here before we know it.”
I force a smile to my lips. “We will.” I take one last kiss from the woman I know I’ll think about constantly and close her inside her car.
