Page 27 of Blood & Honey
“Yeah.I’m just ready to get out of here,” I lie.
We rejoin my men, who all seem to sense my unease.
“I’ll meet you at the clubhouse.Keep your eyes peeled for anyone suspicious.”The tourist season is already in full swing, making every unfamiliar face a potential suspect.I sent Graves to keep watch on Candyce’s place in case Shelby decides to go after Ash.
The short drive to the clubhouse is quiet and tense.I have a million and one thoughts filtering through my mind.I’m torn between doing something to make Ashley hate me so she will go off and build a beautiful life far from me and the dangers that come from being connected to me and pulling her in deeper and closer.
I swore her choice would be her own, but I’m terrified of what the consequences of it will be.If she stays, she’ll always have a target on her back.If she leaves, she’ll still have a target on her back because any enemy that does his homework will connect her to me and use her to get at me.
She’s always going to be in danger, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to watch her walk away.
I’ve always felt protective of her, but since I had a taste of her lips, the urge to keep her only grows stronger.
She looks over at me with those gorgeous ocean eyes that I could easily drown in if I allow myself to fully go there.I swore after the bullshit and hell of Shelby I’d never fall in love.Not after that bitch ripped out my heart.And here I go again, ready to do it all over again with Ashley.
Chapter Nine
Blood’ssuddenshiftofmood once we’re out of his truck sends a wave of fear through me.His grip on my hand is tight, almost painful.I can see his jaw muscles working, and his eyes are hard, alert.I don’t question him.I follow his lead as he pulls me into the clubhouse and directly up the stairs to his room without stopping.He’s still in the same room as before.He never took over his father’s room.Not that I can blame him.His father died in that room, but everywhere I look in this one all I can picture is him with other women.Most of all, my sister.
How many times did she lie in his bed while lying to him?How many times did he fuck her in this room?I wrap my arms around myself as he tosses some dirty laundry off the bed and moves a box of old pictures.Are they of Shelby?Does he miss her?Does he still love her?Does he wish Ash were his son?Is he only settling for me because I’m the closet thing he has to her?
“Hey?”he tilts my chin up, forcing my gaze on his.Unshed tears burn in the creases of my eyes, blurring my vision as they threaten to spill.“What’s got you so upset?”
“Why did you marry me?”
“You know why.”
“Right.”I nod.I guess he deserves credit for honesty.I mean, deep down I knew, but hearing him say it aloud hits harder.“And once you serve revenge on Shelby, then what?”
“I told you I didn’t mean most of the shit I was saying this morning.You’re not a drunken mistake.”
I want to believe him, but what if he is only using me to smoke her out?
“C’mere,” he beckons, curling a finger toward me as I stand by the door ready to run out it at any moment.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve finally got you alone.”He yanks me forward, pulling me down onto the bed with him.His lips meet my neck, and I want nothing more than to be in this moment with him, but the ghost of his past with my sister haunts this room and my thoughts.“I’ve been dying to do this since this morning when you were in nothing but your underwear.”His fingers skim along my stomach, pushing my shirt up.
“Blood,” I say his name with conviction, stopping his movements.
He pulls away to look at me.“Did I do or say something wrong?”
“It’s not you…” My heart beats erratically as I chew over my words, choosing how I express my thoughts carefully.“I don’t want to be simply another girl you fuck in this room.This room…you…Shelby.”Her name is bitter on my tongue.I shake my head, emotion clogging my voice in my throat.
Guilt sweeps over his features as he closes his eyes and sucks in an audible breath.“You’re comparing the here and now to the past.”
“How can I not?She’s all I see when I look around.It wasn’t that long ago that I walked in on you with Felicia or whatever her name was.”
He runs his fingers through his dark hair.“I can’t change the past, and I won’t apologize for things that happened before you.I get it.You’re young, and this is all new, but we’ll make our own memories.Everyone before you is in the rearview.”
“Promise?”
“Babe, I come with a heavy past.I’m a sinner.A criminal who makes mistakes, but I need you to believe me when I say you’re not one of them.Not even close.And I wish I could say that Shelby was my greatest of all, but she led me here to this moment in this room with you.”
He strums a finger along my cheek.
And all I want is to believe his words are true.
