Page 35 of How to Ruin a Duke
Simon frowned.“That’s vague.”
“Not to the people you work with.”Lines looked about his workshop with satisfaction, then clapped Simon on the back.“Not everyone needs a kettle, Thorn.Sometimes people just need the help of another person.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”He hadn’t even come looking for forgiveness and understanding from his former master, but here it was.“I do intend to pay you back the apprenticeship fee,” Simon assured the older man.“Once Howard is cared for.”
“Hmm.”At this last statement, Lines looked skeptical.“Howard is already cared for, but you needn’t take my word for it.He’ll be back from an errand in a few minutes and you can see for yourself.As for the fee, I let that go when you left.I reported to the justice of the peace that I’d agreed to the ending of the apprenticeship.”
Simon blew out a tense breath.“Thank you for that.You had every right to come after me for the remaining years of my service.”
“Thorn.Please.I never intended to prosecute you for the accident, which it clearly was.And”—amusement crimped the old stern features—“you weren’t that good of an apprentice.If you’d stolen or embezzled from me, I’d have gone after you, but all you left with was the clothes on your back.I couldn’t begrudge you that, after all the work you’d done for me.”
All Simon could do was thank him again, heartily and heartfelt.There was no time to do more than this before a silhouette filled the doorway.
“Howard!”called Lines.“Here’s your visitor.”
“Hullo, Thorn,” came the voice from the sun-shadowed figure.
Until this moment, Simon wouldn’t have thought he remembered the sound of Elias Howard’s voice.It was easy to let memory blur with time and distance, so that a former friend and almost-brother became no more than the embodiment of guilt.But when Howard spoke Simon’s name, it was as if a stored safe of recollection was unlocked, and the contents that spilled forth almost brought Simon to his knees.
Sandwiches shared during a quick break from work.Howard’s comforting hand as Simon, newly orphaned, cried out his grief.A patient, corrective word in the absence of Lines.Taking the top bunk because Simon was restless and might fall out of bed.
“Howard.”Simon almost choked on the word, it was so weighty.
“Come out and speak with me,” came the familiar voice, and there was no question that Simon would obey.
An old wooden bench stood against the outside of the workshop.Here Howard settled, and Simon sat as far away as possible, settling his satchel beside the bench.Then he let himself stare, his first look at Howard in thirteen years, since the man’s fight for survival had been joined by a physician.
He had never been handsome, but he had a good face, kind and pleasant.It had hardened and roughened, but he still looked like himself, thank God.Oh, the hair was thinner, the eyebrows thicker.But mostly the change was to his right arm.In the rolled-up shirt-sleeves that all the tinworkers wore, the scarring was obvious.The hand had a cramped, frozen look, the fingers contracted.
“You’re staring at my arm,” Howard said.
“Yes.”Simon didn’t try to deny it.“I hurt you.I need to know how badly.”
“You did hurt me.But you can’t always tell how badly someone is hurt just by looking at his body.”
All right.He’d ask.“How badly are you hurt?”
Howard sighed.“Simon Thorn, you puppy.My hand’s in a sad state.It hurts me every day, and I have to see a physician for it, and someday I might have to have it amputated.But I can still work with tin; I’ve sorted out my own way.And I still became the person I wanted to be.”He shot Simon a sideways glance.“I hope you haven’t brought more guilt money.”
Simon thought of the bills he’d brought along, the money from selling his horn before Rowena bought it back for him.“It’s…not guilt money.It’shelpingmoney.”And he had to ask another question.“How have you been able to do what you wanted to?”
“Time, hard work, the love of a good woman.I married Ellie Schofield as soon as I arose from my sickbed.Surely the vicar told you?McCrone’s been keeping you informed, hasn’t he, when you send him money with your newest address?”
“He has.But I thought…”
“But you thought Ellie couldn’t possibly have wanted to marry me still?”Howard’s voice went hard.“That there was nothing to love about a man with a damaged arm and hand?That she’d have married me out of pity?”
Simon thought of Rowena.“No.There’s as much to love as ever.A person’s worth doesn’t come from their hands.”
In Rowena’s case, her hands created beauty, and that gave them a beauty all their own.
He’d thought that any man who had Rowena and left her was a fool, and the man who left her bed was the greatest fool of all.Well, what did that make him?He was four days away from her now, and…and by God, he loved her.He’d been waiting for years to love her.How had he never realized it?
“I’m a fool,” Simon murmured.
Howard grunted.“Good of you to realize it,” he said, but sounded mollified.“You’re not only talking about me, are you?”
“I’m not.But that’s the most urgent right now.Howard, I just couldn’t believe I hadn’t ruined everything.You were like a brother to me, and I wanted you to be well and happy, but…”
