Page 40 of The Heir
She absorbed the question and understood that he was asking a hypothetical question, not offering a proposal. In that moment, her heart broke. It flew into a thousand hurting pieces, right there in her chest. Her breath wouldn’t come, her lungs felt heavy with pain, and an ache radiated out from her middle as if old age were overcoming her in the space of an instant.
And even if it had been a proposal, she was in no position to accept.
“Anna, love?” He nuzzled at her. “Do you think I would be such a loathsome, overbearing lout?”
“You would not,” she said, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “Whomever you took to wife would be very, very blessed.”
“So you will have me?” He drew her back against him, resting an arm across her collarbones.
“Haveyou?”Anna sat up and slewed around. “You are proposing tome?”
“I am proposing to you,” he said. “If you’ll have me as your husband, I would like you to be my duchess.”
“Oh, God help us,” Anna said under her breath, rising abruptly, and going to a long window.
He rose slowly. “That is not an expression of acceptance.”
“You do me great honor,” Anna said mechanically, “but I cannot accept your generous offer, my lord.”
“No my lording,” he chided. “Not after the way we’ve been behaving, Anna.”
“It will have to be my lording, and Mrs. Seatoning, as well, until I can find another post.”
“I never took you for a coward, Anna,” he said, but there was more disappointment than anger in his voice.
“Were I free to accept you,” she said, turning to face him, “I would still be hesitant.” She left themy lordoff, not wishing to anger him needlessly, but it was there in her tone, and he no doubt heard it.
“What would cause your hesitation?”
“I’m not duchess material, and we hardly know each other.”
“You are as much duchess material as I am duke material,” he countered, “and few titled couples know each other as well as we already do, Anna Seaton. You know I like marzipan and music and my horse. I know you like flowers, beauty, cleanliness, and pretty scents.”
“You know you like kissing me, and I…”
“Yes?”
“I like kissing you, as well,” she admitted on a brittle smile.
“Give me some time, Anna,” he said, the aristocrat stooping to bargain, not the importuning suitor. “You think you’d not make a suitable duchess, and you think we don’t know each other well. Give me the opportunity to convince you of your errors.”
“You want me for a mistress,” she said, “but I will not take your coin.”
“I amasking,” he said with great patience, “the opportunity to gain a place in your affections, Anna. Nothing more.”
Was he asking for an affair? She should refuse him even that, but it was all too tempting.
“I will think about it, though I believe it best if I pursue another position. And no matter what, you mustn’t be seen to embarrass me with your attentions.”
“I will draft you a glowing character,” the earl said, his eyes hooded, “but you must agree to give me at least the summer to change your mind.”
“Write the character.” Anna nodded, heart shattering all over again. “Give it to Lord Valentine for safekeeping, and I will promise not to seek other employment this summer, unless you give me cause.”
“I would not disrespect you, and I would never get a bastard on any woman, Anna.” The earl leveled a look of such frustration at her that Anna cringed.
“Were you to get a bastard on me, we would be forced to wed. I cannot see either of us inviting such circumstances.”
His expression changed, becoming thoughtful.
