Page 24 of Rhymes with Metaphor
Martin blushed magenta.“I didn’t ask.”
Juliet got the lounger out of her car, and Martin went over to help her carry it and set it up.She went back to get Joel.
Joel made his way to the lounger and clambered onto it, lying prone, head cradled in his arms.He had on translucent white scrubs.Reg could see he was wearing black briefs underneath.
“Reg?”said Martin.“Can you help me bring out the food?”
Reg realized he’d been staring.Luckily, Martin was so distracted by Juliet, he didn’t seem to have noticed, but Reg was rattled.He glanced at Juliet, but she was opening the smaller cooler and taking out the drinks, and Joel’s head was turned away from Reg.
As Reg and Martin carried the bigger cooler between them, Reg felt his gaze pulled back to Joel.When they set the cooler on the picnic blanket, Reg dragged a chair over for himself, setting his back to Joel so he couldn’t see him, not even peripherally.
Martin opened the cooler.
“Has Martin regaled you about his exes, Juliet?”said Reg.
“Reg,” said Martin, warningly.
“First, there was Eustasia.She was his imaginary girlfriend.I fancy he concocted her out of a couple of fused Enid Blyton characters.His first real girlfriend was Rancidia—not her real name.She attended the local girls’ school.She was keener on Martin than he on her.You could say the relationship was entirely in her head.She didn’t bother to ask Martin if he was on board.You could call her Martin’s first groupie.”
“Really, Reg—” said Martin.
“Then, after he’d completed his adolescent phase, there was Egregria—name changed to protect the guilty—who bore a striking resemblance to the heroine in du Maurier’sRebecca.”
“Reg,” said Martin.
“She was followed by Dahlhaus.Can’t blame her parents—she changed her name.”
“Dahlhaus?”said Juliet.
“She was influenced byJames and the Giant Peachand the English Goth scene at an impressionable age,” said Reg.“You could write a thesis on Martin’s exes.”
“As opposed toyourexes?”said Martin.
“Oh,” said Reg.“I don’t have any.”
“Still going on, is it?”said Martin.
Reg sent him a dark look.
“Reg has a secret boyfriend,” said Martin to Juliet.“He’s been seeing him for years.I don’t know who he is, mind you.I’ve never seen him.I don’t even know his name.The only two possibilities are that he’s married...or he’s a yeti.”
“Interesting,” said Juliet.“My thesis is on asymmetric romantic relationships.”
“Martin’s thesis is entirely fictional,” said Reg.
“You’re saying I invented him?”said Martin.“Or am I right?”
“I am saying your MFA is in Fiction,” said Reg.“And your banter, if you can call it that, is on-brand.”
“See?”said Martin.“He gets touchy whenever I broach the subject.”
Juliet opened the cooler and laid the food out.Nothing more was said while they ate.Juliet unwrapped a sandwich, opened a can of A&W Root Beer, and brought them to Joel.
“It ispoisonouslyhot,” said Martin.
“We should have brought a beach umbrella,” said Juliet.
“Let’s go for a wade in the lake,” said Martin.“Coming, Juliet?”
