Page 15 of Kassir and Rebel
“You know I have to feed you before I unload all of my shit.”
“Kassir?”
“Who the hell else?” I ask rhetorically. I didn’t talk to her last night but I did send her a brief text.
“So, walk me through it. He knocked on Ma’s door.”
“Yeah, late as hell too, and he wouldn’t leave; so I went with him.”
“To his place?”
“Hell no. For a ride.”
“Not in the Charger?” she asks while grinning.
“No. I can tell you’re never on my side of town. The Charger is gone and he has the G-Wagon, finally.”
“Oh shit! Good for him,” she says and I cut my eyes at her. “Damn. I can’t even compliment his ride?”
“Nope. I’m your friend. He’s the nigga who broke your bestie’s heart. Friend, me, and enemy, his ass,” I clarify and she cuts her eyes at me this time.
“Me, true friend. So I’m always on your side, but I’m going to always be honest with you too.” She eats more of her pasta then leans back on the sofa. “Where did y’all go?”
“To Fadez.”
“That barbershop? Why?”
“It’s his. He owns it apparently. He was going on and on about how he has changed and how he’s really off the streets now.”
“That’s good, right?”
“I guess,” I say, trying to sound like I don’t care but I do. Of course I do.
When I left for Miami, things were really bad between DP and the Bedford Boys. Shootings were damn near weekly and Kassir was always on the block and in the streets. Shit was really bad and I’m really glad to hear things are calm now and he’s safe. I endured too many sleepless nights, laying awake and praying he walked back through his door when we were together.”
“Okay. I guess but did y’all talk about her and the baby?”
“Yeah and he actually said he regretted what he did,” I say and she sits up dramatically.
“He said that?” she asks incredulously, displaying the same sentiment I felt last night.
“Yeah and I broke down. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear him say that shit to me. Hell, I’m 'bout to cry now thinking about it. You know how much I loved him,” I say then gulp down some of my margarita.
“You know it’s okay to still love him, right?”
“But is it though? He had a baby on me,” I say and she seems to ignore my words.
“Be honest. Do you still love him?”
After taking a big ass breath, I finish my drink then fall back on the sofa. “He said that he still loves me,” I utter.
“But do you love him?”
“He has a son. How can I even deal with that? Could you deal with that?” I ask, avoiding the answer I know deep down in my heart. Of course, I still love him. I never stopped, which is why my heart hurt so bad when I found out Linnea was pregnant. “Well, could you?”
“If that man loved me as much as you and I both know Kassir does you, I think I could try. I know you hate when I say this, but you two were broken up when they got together. Plus, love like y’all’s doesn’t come around that often. But it’s not about me, it’s about you. Do you love him enough?”
“Oh God! I love him too much,” I admit out loud.
