Page 73 of Above
“Aren’t you?”
“Partly, yes. I feel safer with you and you’ve helped me a lot. There is a sense of debt there, because I owe you not only my life,but the lives of my family, even if you don’t realize it.” He let out a heavy breath, as if he had been holding it for a long time. Then he sat on the end of his bed and placed his head in his hands. “Beside that, I also haven’t been able to shake you off. Not only your relentless desire to be with me, but also my own undeniable desire to have you near. I do like you, Talon.”
“But you don’t love me,” he mumbled into his hands. Making my way to his bed on a shaky leg, I slowly sat beside him, his posture stiffening at the feel of the mattress giving beneath my weight.
“No, Talon. I don’t.” Grabbing one of his hands in mine, forcing him to look up, I tried to find some way to explain why I was so unable to be what he wanted me to be. “Honestly, I don’t know how to do that. I’ve only ever loved my family, and I can’t imagine having room for someone else. They hold all of my focus.”
“So, what you’re saying is that it has nothing to do with me, just that you can’t yet.”
“Of course it has nothing to do with you. You’ve always been more than I deserved. From day one, you were there to help me. You’ve saved me. How could you be the problem?” We sat there in silence for a few moments, my thoughts mingling together, attempting to form a string that made sense. “I don’t think I can be a good partner.”
“I could teach you,” he whispered, his voice so quiet it sounded like a summer breeze.
“You’ll forget me after all of this, I promise,” I said, ignoring his offer. There was no reason to lead him on now that we were having a direct conversation. Maybe he wouldn’t want to be my friend after this, but it felt right to be honest with him.
In response, he shook his head, letting it fall into my lap as his arms wrapped around my waist. How odd it was, to be loved. He barely knew me, yet he held on so tightly. I wished I could dothe same for him, but we were too different. Our values, goals, and futures would never align. Moreover, I would never care about anyone like I cared about my family.
“Can we have now, then? If I promise I won’t let it hurt me after academy, then will you just be with me while we’re here?” he pleaded, his voice cracking.
Don’t say yes. He doesn’t mean that. It will clearly break him.
“Please say yes,” he begged again, this time sitting up and grabbing my face.
His cheeks were wet, those amber eyes glowing beneath the light he had crafted. With his hair down and his night clothes firmly molded to his body, anyone could see how handsome he was. It wouldn’t be an awful thing to be loved by him for a few weeks. That wasn’t the problem. What came after was what scared me.
Don’t allow yourself to become another person who has hurt and disappointed him.
“Please, Supernova?”
I nodded.
Talon’s lips were on mine in an instant, his mouth needy and hands desperate. I let him unzip my leathers, my skin pebbling as his hands ghosted across my bare upper body. He got to my leg not long after, noticing the feel of my blood, but he didn’t pause longer than was needed to heal me fully. His magic sizzled, my own seeming to protest the intrusion. Groaning, I fell back onto the bed. Stars that hurt.
While I hadn’t meant it as an invitation, Talon took it as one. He practically ripped my pants and panties off, throwing them to the side and then diving in between my legs. I couldn’t have possibly been ready for the sensation of his longing against me, the way he consumed as if he had been starved. His fingers were inside of me, his tongue upon me, his moans around me.Everywhere I looked, he was there, and I couldn’t help but let myself enjoy it. His love.
For the next half hour, Talon ravaged me, and I only wished he wouldn’t have left any pieces behind.
“So, are you going to tell me why you seem uncharacteristically calm?” Dofrel asked as we stirred our cauldrons side by side. He had taken to being next to me during our alchemy sessions, our other two groupmates pairing with one another—much to Captain Dofrel’s displeasure. She seemingly could not stand the sight of me. It appeared neither of Dofrel’s parents were my fan.
“Beside the fact that I’m the only one of us four capable of making a sleepless tonic from memory?” I quipped, allowing myself the rare chance to gloat. I was in my element when we were in this room. My sanctuary if ever there was one on this island.
“Yes, other than that of course.” He chuckled, as he often did. I found myself warming up to Dofrel, though I hated that the only two people I had given a chance were cores. Not that I had anyone else lining up to be my friend. The cores were the only ones brave enough to be within five feet of me.
“Well, we only have a few more illusions, which means we’re nearly two-thirds of the way done. I feel good about that, even if I have nightmares every night about what they show me during the day.” It was a rare moment of honesty between us, as we usually stuck to more surface level conversations. Really, they consisted of him talking and me listening, but that was normal for me.
“Odd. You know, I was thinking it had something to do with Az.” Gagging on a sudden intake of harsh air, I gripped the table, looking at Dofrel with wide eyes.
“What? Are you thinking I should be calm because he hasn’t killed me yet?” I croaked in disbelief.
Rolling his eyes, Dofrel scoffed. “He won’t kill you.”
“Are you delusional, Dofrel?”
“Cal.”
“Dofrel.”
“I’ll call you Nova.”
